[herdarkness]

I know this post is a bit graphic but I don?t know how else to explain it

For starters I?m extremely frustrated in regards to having sex because I can?t orgasm when having sex with my man.

He tells me its okay. But I want to be able to experience the orgasm with him inside me.

And what?s strange is I can orgasm when I masturbate with my fingers rubbing my clit and so on, or even putting my finger inside me. But I can?t orgasm when me and him have sex. It?s strange.

And I don?t have any history of sexual abuse or rape, None of that. So now I?m wondering is it his **** size is he to big or to small for me? I don?t know I?m all out of answers. Please help me I appreciate any advice.

[seashoremaine]

I think it's probably nerves, but it could be something physical. When masturbating you may be hitting your special spot in a way that he is not. I would try the following:

When masturbating, try and be aware of specific things that feel good (like hitting your G-spot) and try and duplicate those feeling during sex by using various positions.

While having intercourse, rub your clit at the same time. Many woman can't have an orgasm at all without clitoral stimulation.

See if you can make yourself cum while your man watches you masturbate. Maybe his presence is making your nervous and unable to cum. If it is then try and working on relaxing and letting go during sex.

[wildpumpkin]

great orgasms!...

hey there. im 17, have only had one sexual partner. i too could only orgasm by myself. but with him (now ex) i would have great sex but could only orgasm with him inside me if either him or myself was playing with my clitoris. he was more than happy to help out, even if it meant that i had to slide my hand between us when he was on top to reach it. from then on then when we did both come, it was fantastic! i think maybe you might have to have a weekend of experiments and see what works for you. hope this helps. good luck!!!

[poisongirl]

Contrary to popular belief, most women do NOT orgasm from penetration. The majority of women orgasm from clitoral stimulation. For some women, the man grinding against her clit while he penetrating her is enough to lead to orgasm, but for some it simply isn't. As everyone who has posted so far has mentioned, it is a good idea to focus on what you know DOES work, and try to introduce it while you are having sex.
Can he bring you to orgasm when HE stimulates you manually or orally? If he cannot, then it could suggest that the roadblock (so to speak) isn't physical. There are many things that could cause a person to sub-consciously be holding them back from having an orgasm. Do you feel nervous, or self-conscious about your body? Are you worried about how you'd react if he did see you orgasm? Have you not had very much experience, and a bit apprehensive to let yourself "finish" because of him. Or, perhaps it is just that he is not in tune with your body the way you are. Learning to masturbate is a really personal thing, and for everyone it is different. If you're not used to a man working your genitals (whether it's any man- generally speaking, or a new guy in your life), it can be difficult to feel comfortable, or to feel like he isn't doing what you know works for you. Guys don't get clues, so if you think you could guide him, then don't be afraid to talk him through it. I'm sure he'd appreciate the help. I know that a guy feels better (and more macho), when he can please his lady. If you don't think that is the problem, then you could always work the magic yourself, that you know works for you, as seashoremaine and wildpumpkin had suggested.

As far as whether his penis is to small, well, I doubt that highly. Especially if we're discussing length. If he has an itty-bitty little 1 inch long penis... maybe, but more than likely that is not the case. If you aren't feeling any pleasure at all from his penetration, then there could be something to that, but if you feel the sensation and it feels pleasurable (even if it's not enough to bring you to orgasm), then I would certainly not worry about his size. The G-spot is usually no more than 2 inches into a womans vagina (usually 1-1.5 inches in most women), so any benefit that the man's size could have, need not exceed 2 inches of penetrable length- technically. In fact, the upper part of the vagina doesn't have the concentrated nerve bundles that the lower part does, and doesn't honestly benefit from extra length. Girth is a huge factor in a man's size, since the friction of his penis is what creates the sensations we feel. But, as I'd said, if you can feel him and get pleasure at all from it, then it is not an indicator that there is a problem with his size.

Ultimately, I would suggest that you open some communication lines and experiment with what might work. Don't be afraid to talk him through things, and don't be afraid to touch yourself while having sex (or before/after, if that makes you more comfortable.) Have fun!!!

[mr.mansview]

trying having sex with you on top..lie prone on him and grind your clitoral area on his pubic bone or whatever else hits that spot..i know from my partners experience that it works. and sometimes quickly..

[poisongirl]

Good call! That was a very good suggestion by Dr. Mansview. Part of why that position works so well is that the angle of the mans penis tends to put more pressure on the anterior wall of the vagina, where the g-spot is located; while simultaneously allowing your clit to grind on his pubic bone area. Not to mention that it gives you control over the depth/force/angle of thrust.

[Hugo-B]

When you masturbate you are having g-spot or clitoral orgasms, correct?

Generally, via regular penetrative sex you would have a vaginal orgasm, though depending on the compatibility of you and your partners physical dimensions he may directly stimulate your g-spot, but if that was the case we wouldn't be reading this post.

x2 What Dr. Mansview says, alternatively you could try stimulating your clitoris in whichever position you feel most comfortable in, or 'guiding him' whilst he's on top of you, directing him towards your g-spot.