[darcdante]

Here in the US, we are brought up in a culture of gay or straight. There is the bi option, but not as popular. In sexology, there is the concept of attraction of a scale (if you say the movie Kinsey, it mentions it). The scale goes form 0 to 6 with 0 being completey heterosexual and only attracted to the opposite sex and 6 being completely homosexual and only being attracted to your own sex. You may identify as 0 but a large portion of people fall somewhere in the middle of that scale.

I think there's even more to it than that. I consider myself to have a penis fetish, for example. I don't find men attractive, and the thought of kissing a man grosses me out. The idea of cuddling with a man is utterly repulsive. But the thought of going down on a man or touching a penis arouses me. Weird, huh? lol

[Stillness]

I don't find men attractive, and the thought of kissing a man grosses me out. The idea of cuddling with a man is utterly repulsive. But the thought of going down on a man or touching a penis arouses me. Weird, huh? lol

If you don't mind me asking, what do you think accounts for this? You said there's more to it than attraction. What else is there? You don't think you just be a 1 or 2 on sp346's scale or something?

[DreamP346]

Kinsey is just one scale. There is another that probably describes things better called the OBI scale. It stands for Orientation, Behavior and Identity. Each one has it's own 0-6 scale. Orientation would be similar to the Kinsey scale. Behavior is about what you actually do and Identity is what you chose to label yourself. Human sexuality is so complex. We are constantly trying to categorize everything and sometimes that's just not possible.

[darcdante]

If you don't mind me asking, what do you think accounts for this? You said there's more to it than attraction. What else is there? You don't think you just be a 1 or 2 on sp346's scale or something?

No, because I'm not attracted to men - only a part of the male anatomy. To the contrary, when I think of going down on a guy, I lose all interest if I think of him as an actual guy. There's no time I've seen a guy and though "wow, I'd like to go down on him!" I never have any such thoughts. My fantasies about it don't actually involve glory holes, but the mindset is the same - I picture the penis in a way detached from the man. I think it's my insecurities expressing themselves through sexual submissiveness but, since I'm not attracted to men, including their face or body or butt or anything else turns me off.

I also have a lot of fantasies of being sexually submissive to my wife, so I think my subconscious generally just wants to be dominated. Since our culture is so phallo-centric, it adopted the penis fetish as a way to express my impulse of submission. It's something I'm slowly, but surely, overcoming, mainly because my wife is so complimentary of me and my sexual prowess.

I didn't fantasize about going down on guys until I lived with my ex-girlfriend. She was strong, independent, and often an outright ***** (I realized that in hindsight, at the time I was enamored with her). She would tell me things like how nobody touched her like Carlos, or how sexy Tony was, or how she had sex with so-and-so in the park, or how Brandon was the first one to pick her up during sex and that was her favorite position. Once I was drunk and coming onto her in a clumsy, insecure, drunken manner. She told me "But you're not strong enough to make love to me the way I like!" Later she told me that she only said that because I was drunk and she wanted me to stop pestering her for sex. It stung like a knife to the heart, and it's when my cuckold fantasies began. Her dad was also dying from cancer at the time, so we were in two different places. It was my first real relationship, and I wanted to sexually experiment and prove my virility, yadda yadda. She wanted almost nothing to do with sex, and I think that caused her to say some hurtful things without quite realizing how hurtful they really were. But when I'd bring it up to her, she'd say I should stop acting to jealous.

Anyway, that's my story! I've obviously thought it through quite a bit lol.

[kalinar]

You should read my threesome experience

[wino33]

You should just have a night of sharing each other's fantasies. I'm sure she has one that she's embarrassed about too.