[rcoreyus]

Just another of my occasional questions about how people think about sex. In this case do you like to "take charge" during sex. Here I don't necessarily mean handcuffs and riding-crops (though that could be included), but rather do you like to control what is going on. Or, do you like your partner to control things. Of course maybe you like either at different times, or maybe you prefer sex where this isn't a sense of control.

I'm not in any way talking about pressuring someone into things they don't way, just your attitudes during sex that you both enjoy.

[Olympia]

Good question, rcoreyus...!
I suppose I would say... One or the other. I ask my husband what position he would like, and he does the same for me.. I guess, to me anyway, that
would be considered taking charge. But as more of a controlled (Dom., / Submissive) neither pushes or submits to the others will. Mutual, as we are
very familiar with one anothers boundries.

[Ashlee T.]

I enjoy taking charge. BUT, it has been years *sigh* since I've had a man who took charge with me. I'm not saying they just lay there and do nothing, but I"m talking about the pick me up and put me against a wall kind of taking charge, or holding my arms down (nicely of course haha) kind of taking charge. After a while when I realize that I'm the only one EVER taking charge, I lose interest in doing so. I"m seeking a happy medium of both...where BOTH of us are comfortable and confident enough to take charge at times.

[ItsASecret]

I want him to. I really dislike being in charge, I have no ideas on what to do no secret dominating scenario conjured up if he asks and I am without a doubt a follower not a leader. There are things I tell him outside of sex that I like to happen such as him holding my arms down, gently scratching my sides a bit, or rolling around more vigorously but I will not actually demand or request such things during sex because again of my dislike of taking charge. But because I do talk about it during non-sex times he knows what I like so he does it during sex. He has asked me to take charge in bed but honestly I clam up and I just cannot do it, it feels like such an act if I do something like that because it is so abnormal for me to "be the leader". And acting is not what I want to be doing.

[rcoreyus]

I guess it can be tricky. The people who want their partners to take charge in bed probably don't feel comfortable asking for them to do so.

[ItsASecret]

I think that is certainly possible. Or if they did mention it maybe their partner would ask "well what do you want me to do?" and if the partner has no idea what they would actually want they may be reluctant to ask them to take charge. Like they are unsure of what they are really looking for and if the other has no idea either the idea kinda fizzles out so what is the point of asking type thing.

[SaharaJim]

I am fond; for those familar with the series STAR TREK, of Klingon sex. Also called "rough" sex or aggressive. But implied in this is that both partners are "aggressive" or "violently passionate" but never to the point of causing "real" injury. Basically whoever is on "top" at the "moment" is in charge- but that can change...even suddenly. But for the "gentle, loving" type..I almost am always in
"charge".

[cathygirl]

We take turns. I can usually tell when it's going to be his turn because he grabs my hair and pulls me where he wants me to be :-) When I'm in charge, well, I grab something else *snicker*

[rcoreyus]

Interesting that no one likes to be the one who always "takes charge", but some like their partners to do so.

[jns]

The ones that always take charge would probably get into conflict on a forum like this. It would take a person who had thought out their position very well and was skilled at debate.