[Bittylee]

I don't think I've ever had an orgasm. I just don't feel like I have. My fiancé insists that I have but it's not his body so how would he really know? I'm just tired of faking during sex. I enjoy sex, and it feels good to me but I've never reached orgasm. And I don't enjoy masturbation at all. So that not an option, it doesn't help. I just want to know if something is wrong with me. Help!!!

[DreamP346]

Nothing is wrong with you. Many women do not orgasm. Its a learned skill for most. Many people so not have these explosive orgasms they show in the movies. The concept of orgasm is very subjective. What is an orgasm? When a woman ejaculates? When the vagina tightens and starts spasming? When a woman feels a sense of release? Those can all happen as the same time for somebody but happen at different times for others.

The best way to know is mastubation. Try a toy. Personally, I can't tell the exact moment of orgasm with my partner because there is too much movement going on. My partner can tell when he is going down on me because he notices all the physical reactions - withdrawl of the clit, a release for more fluids and then muscles completely relax. The funny thing is I can't tell until it is all over and I am in the refractory period.

[SweetPeaches]

Have you tried more foreplay before sex?. I didn't get my first orgasm till a yearlater with my Boyfriend. But like the other poster said its a skill learned.

[chevy]

I used to have the same problem. My fiance and I talked about it and yea he felt bad that I was faking it but it gave us time to learn more about what each of us like. Now we have both discovered what gets me to have an orgasm and our sex life has never been better. The best thing to do is try to be honest and if he really cares, he will help figure out what gets you going. The problem could be that both of you haven't quite figured out what you like yet.

[jns]

I used to have the same problem. My fiance and I talked about it and yea he felt bad that I was faking it but it gave us time to learn more about what each of us like. Now we have both discovered what gets me to have an orgasm and our sex life has never been better. The best thing to do is try to be honest and if he really cares, he will help figure out what gets you going. The problem could be that both of you haven't quite figured out what you like yet.

Good for you, chevy. This will give hope to a lot of women.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

I don't think I've ever had an orgasm. I just don't feel like I have. My fiancé insists that I have but it's not his body so how would he really know? I'm just tired of faking during sex. I enjoy sex, and it feels good to me but I've never reached orgasm. And I don't enjoy masturbation at all. So that not an option, it doesn't help. I just want to know if something is wrong with me. Help!!!

I don't think there is anything wrong with you, despite what most say about orgasm I think its much harder to achieve than most would like to admit.

The most obvious sign of an orgasm is the involuntary spasmodic contractions of the vaginal barrel, it the one thing I believe that defines it.

Other signs, your Bartholins glands will have been working overtime - so you'll be very wet down there on top of the already wet body.

Increased heart rate above 200 beats per minute.

You or should I say I could hear my partners heart beating like a little drum in her chest cavity - so its really quite loud.

Dialated pupils is what I noticed after the orgasm.

A womens skin has a wonderful glow about it.

Elevated breathing not that I can remember this.

A womens vagina clamps down on the mans penis whilst she is having the orgasm - so the guy will have trouble withdrawing his manhood. :P

Which is quite frightening if as a man your not expecting it.

After you feel euphoria, contented, peaceful, relaxed, and there is a feeling of bonding between you and your partner - or that is how I felt.

To achieve it it takes an enormous amount of foreplay - it took me many hours 7+ maybe ?? (I can hear you thinking - OMG, well that is what it took me to achieve it with my partner)

So don't dispair if you don't at first succeed, its not easy to achieve - if you want the most powerful orgasm.

I've been with another partners that had mini orgasms, but not the same intensity as the one I described here.

Lots of gentle hand caresssing over hours - the caressing has a cathartic affect that relaxes a women, its this very gentle caressing for hours that gets a women to orgasm.

Also your better to turn out the lights - women and men are some what inhibited which of course depends on the person but most are to some extent.

Cold or hot room makes no difference.

Doesn't matter if your in love or not but I think rapport is important and some kind of caring or nurturing mindset.

The key for a man is not to attempt penetration until the women is at the threshold of orgasm - only then should he enter you; and not until you are ready.

If they guy is suffering from "lovers balls" aka "blue balls" thats too bad, you can't enter until your ready.

When your ready (when you can feel the onset of orgasm then he should enter you) allow him to enter you but make sure he's inside before the orgasm.

He needs to know what will happen (the tightly constriction otherwise he may freek out) so make sure you tell him before hand.

Oh and believe me it will blow his mind like nothing he has ever experienced !! LOL

Believe me when I say it will bring you both much closer together.

Orgasm together is one of those life changing events that will leave you feeling wonderful in the true sense of the word.

It is everything one of the most incredible experiences that you will ever experience in your life.

So is all that time spent on foreplay worth it - ABSOLUTELY !!

[Living101]

I don't think I've ever had an orgasm. I just don't feel like I have. My fiancé insists that I have but it's not his body so how would he really know? I'm just tired of faking during sex. I enjoy sex, and it feels good to me but I've never reached orgasm. And I don't enjoy masturbation at all. So that not an option, it doesn't help. I just want to know if something is wrong with me. Help!!!

Congrats first! you had first step for sex rules, it's enjoy sex and you should be have orgasm. Maybe it's more private in your question here, but let me know how do you feel when you have orgasm or not? because some woman can hide his orgasm (i.e.: fake or not), but but her body language can not be deceived.

[avvie_88]

You'd know if you had an orgasm. Promise. ANYONE can orgasm, but it's not EASY for everyone.
My fiancee is AWESOME and takes very good care of me sexually, BUT it takes me FOREVER to climax still.
For me, it's a combination of stress (I have often times severe anxiety, which causes stress, obviously) and sometimes, I'm just ADD. I get distracted easily. So the fact that I "take a long time" is purely mental for me.

Like the other suggested, play with yourself. So whatever feels good, go with it, and eventually something will work. And if it's all mental, like me, you'll just really have to learn to FOCUS and concentrate of what you're doing to yourself or your partner is doing to you.