[anontoaskaquestion]

Hi WH,

I'm odd person who has a strange relationship with an equally eccentric girl. For all the amazing things about her, she is unfortunately rather manipulative and likes to deceive me. We're both 19, and at times our relationship can be fairly physical in nature. Unfortunately I'm rather socially awkward myself and have zero experience with girls and relationships so I'd like some input if possible.

I'm interested in finding out more about her sexual history - something that personally means a lot to me. I've asked her, yes, but open, honest communication is heavily skewered in our relationship (please don't judge, heh) and I'd be wary of anything she said. I can't tell if its truth or a lie of hers trying to promote a certain agenda of hers. Which is fine usually, as it makes the relationship more interesting and fun for the both of us, kind of like a game we mutually play and enjoy.


If a girl gets felt up by a guy, whether lightly brushing her breasts or full on squeezing (no bra or anything in between) would she have much of a reaction? What if she had no prior experience?


Also, how would I know if a girl is a virgin? I'm not too sold on this hymen thing - I think it can't be very accurate. However, I did chance upon hearing a friend of mine who happens to be a practicing doctor who recounted a story of when he examined a girl with a urinary tract infection and discerned that the cause was sex - she was really young, and he figured that she wasn't a virgin because she had no reaction to certain tests which should have caused pain to a virgin. Yes, if necessary I could probably go down on her or whatever to get close enough to test things out.


Thanks,
Anon

[rosekitten]

The reaction a woman gives is 100% dependent on the woman. Some women are sensitive, some aren't. Why do you care if this woman is a virgin or not?

[DreamP346]

The only way to know a woman's past experience is to ask. If she doesn't want to tell you the truth, then you are out of luck. Nothing else you can do.

The thing you heard from your doctor friend is BS. Each person is different. Each woman is comfortable with different levels of testing and touching by a healthcare provider. Your friend is a very judgemental physician and in my books not a good one.

Breasts have different levels of sensitivity for each woman. Some women can orgasm from breast fonding whereas for others it does nothing.

[Little]

If having a girlfriend who's a virgin is important to you, you probably don't want to be with somebody who lies so much as to make you wonder about any little thing she says. Like sp346 said, honest communication is the ONLY way to tell whether a woman is a virgin.

[SweetPeaches]

If she is manipulative and deceives you, why would you believe her?. I mean she could be lying.
If it is important then ask her straight, you can usually tell when a person is lying.

[LanaBear]

Honestly, this seems like a rather unhealthy relationship...

But, to answer your questions... Some women have very sensitive breasts, some women have little to no sensitivity, it has nothing to do with experience or any of that.

And, like the others stated before... The only true way to find out if she is a virgin is to ask, then decide for yourself whether or not you want to believe her. The hymen can break for any number of reasons and chances are at 19, even if she was a virgin, her hymen may have already been broken.

[jns]

Why does she have to be a virgin? Why? If she is not why does her sexual history matter? Both of you get tested so you know that you two are not swapping something, but otherwise why does it matter?

[anontoaskaquestion]

Yeah, the relationship isn't as I'd wish.. I'd rather have a more 'normal' relationship with her.

About being a virgin.. its just a personal thing for me. I don't know why, but having a girlfriend who has had a sexual history is such an incredible turn-off for me. It just completely kills my interest in her, and knowing whether she is or not is just somehow really important to me. I have no other absolute dealbreakers - while I certainly wouldn't date a girl who is a drug abuser or a heavy smoker, that can be changed, while her sexual history can't.

This is just really unfortunate for me because I don't often get a chance to get in a relationship with a girl. I'm neither attractive nor intelligent. I'm very socially awkward. This is just a ticking time bomb because I'm already 19, and I can imagine that it will only get harder as time passes :/

[rosekitten]

Wait... so you think it's okay to do anything, except penis to vagina penetration? Based on the way you stated your first post about going down on her. What makes penile penetration so much more special? I mean, I get that it's great, but STD's could just as easily be transmitted though oral sex, so it can't be that. Do you just want to be able to lay "claim" to her vagina as being yours? I can't really understand when people are physical (oral, etc), but the penis makes someone less special if they've already had it.

[BabyGirl]

About being a virgin.. its just a personal thing for me. I don't know why, but having a girlfriend who has had a sexual history is such an incredible turn-off for me. It just completely kills my interest in her, and knowing whether she is or not is just somehow really important to me. I have no other absolute dealbreakers - while I certainly wouldn't date a girl who is a drug abuser or a heavy smoker, that can be changed, while her sexual history can't.

Is their any Particular age group that you are looking for this " Virgin " in or even Faith based ?

This is just really unfortunate for me because I don't often get a chance to get in a relationship with a girl. I'm neither attractive nor intelligent. I'm very socially awkward. This is just a ticking time bomb because I'm already 19, and I can imagine that it will only get harder as time passes

Your " Often Get a Chance to get in a relationship with a Girl " seems to feel to me, that Your "Standards are Very High" though very Limited .

Being Only 19 and looking for a Virgin, is not so " Negative " anymore . But you should be Upfront and Honest about .. What you want in a possible Mate . Be Honest that you only want a Virgin, that your " friend the Dr" can tell you yes or no, that if you get close enough you can tell if her Hymen is broken, by a penis, not by the thinning or any Activities that have Nothing to do with Sex or Penile Penetration.

One ,so particular as you seem to be, with your Respect and Demands of Women being one whom you may enjoy .. May be Very Difficult in our area, USA.. But not all together Impossible..

You can be " Attractive and Intelligent as you are .. in Real life without the Social Time Bomb"
At 19. maybe try a bit of " I"ll meet the girl and ask her for a Date, ask her parents and the " sniff to see if she is a Virgin ? Trust me, they will " Sniff You out First".

And in some Communities, it would be an Insult to ask one. If they were or were not a virgin and also to mistrust their " Word/ Promise " that they are.

I would learn to Trust. Yourself before any others.