[Ashlee T.]

At age 29...having just broken down and done this recently for the FIRST time in my life, I'm curious: How many of you have truly been tested for STD's? If so, how long ago? What made you get tested? Did it change the way you handle protecting yourself? Do you require new partners to have been recently tested?

Note: You will not be judged for your answers. I'm seeking complete uninhibited honesty.

[ItsASecret]

I have never been tested but for those in high risk lifestyles like the casual sex scene with multiple partners it is a good idea to frequently be tested. The reason is I have not had a test is because I do not engage in frequent or risky sex with multiple partners, I have had one single partner my bf and him the same with me. However that said if I have had sex with even one more guy prior, or him at least one other woman prior, then I would get tested out of safety. I actually have a fear of STDs lol, not in a terrified never be hugged by another guy way but an educational way. I know how incredibly resistant the causative pathogens of STDs are so based on what I know I am very worried should I ever catch something for whatever reason. The sheer frequency of STDs in the sexual world today coupled with how hard of a time drugs have with removing said STDs just makes me shake my head and say "nope no casual sex for me" lol. That is just my feelings on it.

[jns]

Many people are apprehensive about getting tested for STDs. If you get tested and have a problem, it can be fixed or mitigated. If you do not get tested, my thinking is that you must actually hate your loved ones as you can cause them problems. You should get tested after becoming sexually active or possibly even before. You should get tested again every so often, because some STDs take a while before they show up on tests.

I have been tested many times. Sometimes doctors will have you tested just to be sure (when you are in because you are sick) even though you are in a monogamous married relationship.

[jns]

I know that everyone can absolutely guarantee the fidelity of their loved one, but the history of the world shows that that is not always a good bet. The only one you really know is yourself. I wonder if STDs are spread faster or farther amongst populations of sexually active people who get tested regularly or populations of people who don't get tested because of "fidelity".

[ItsASecret]

I wonder if STDs are spread faster or farther amongst populations of sexually active people who get tested regularly or populations of people who don't get tested because of "fidelity".

Getting tested does not mean much in the overall sense as all that tells you is yes or no you have something, what matters is the frequency of being treated and hence how much opportunity the STDs can spread. A place in Africa for example will have a lot of people having sex (which unfortunately is often due to rape) but very little in the form of treatment so the STD rates there are very high. A lot of people even if they are tested positive for something still will not go get treated because they do not want to take medications or more simply they are embarrassed that they have caught something.

One could say that the places where people are engaging in frequent sex is the main issue, the more partners a person has the greater the chance of being exposed to something. That does not mean they will definitely catch something it is merely a basic numbers situation, the more exposures the greater the chance of contracting something. So places with people who have regular frequent risky style sex with partners who also engage in risky sex are more likely to catch something compared to those who may have multiple partners but opt for protection in every situation. Getting treated can reduce the frequency that STDs are amongst the population but with the way resistance is occurring that number is slowly going to go down in effectiveness. Education is the number one priority if rates are to decrease, it needs to start young saying that at the very least use a condom so that the chance of catching something goes way down even if you have sex with numerous partners.

[Ashlee T.]

So, JNS, as someone who has been tested, did getting tested change your behavior in regards to how you handled sex? I'm asking because before I did this, I had no inclination that I'd have anything, no symptoms, etc....just wanted that clean slate.......but I thought to myself if I get that clean slate, I will require that any sexual partner I have in the future also be tested. I know that not all men will be receptive to such requirements. But even if you use condoms, things like HSV1 (oral herpes) which ALOT of people have (something like 85% of people carry the antibodies for HSV1, usually contracted as a child) can be transmitted to the genitals during oral sex. It's important to know that if you're having an oral breakout, even just a little cold sore, to steer clear of giving your partner oral sex until you're breakout free. MANY people do not know this. That's not something they teach about in sex ed (or at least not when I had it). I agree with you that often the most dangerous situations are the ones in which a couple believes they are monogamous, trusts, and infidelity occurs exposing someone totally unknowing to a life changing disease. When you think about the ones that are treatable, that's one thing....... but herpes....HIV.... scary scary stuff.

IAS - I can see why you haven't been tested. Though despite the lack of sexual history, you still may carry HSV1 and that would be something to take not of if you ever get fever blisters or mouth sores. I'm not saying go get tested JUST for that, but keep it in mind for oral sex/kissing etc. I have never had any casual sexual partners myself. Never had a one night stand. But I have had multiple monogamous relationships. The last guy I was in a relationship with was worried about his sexual past, so he went and got tested before we slept together AND we used condoms. But he is the only guy I've ever been with that did that.... I've dated (but not slept with) guys who said they had been tested at some point.... but getting tested at some point doesn't hold much validity if you're having frequent sex partners, especially unprotected. Since hormonal BC is so popular today, lack of condom use is rampant. For me, getting tested changed my perception of things and makes me feel even more protective of my sexual health.

[jns]

With HSV1, a person can still be shedding but be asymptomatic. That and the fact that it hides so good in the ganglia are major reasons it has had an exposure rate of 85% of the population. Herpes can cause outbreaks which are painful, but you have to get unlucky for it to blind you.

Before and after the first time I got tested my sex life was minimal. So no, it didn't change my behavior. It did help my peace of mind, though, even though it was scary going to the free clinic.

Requiring any partner you have to get tested before building up to have sex is a good policy. As you said, it is not always easy to get someone else to do it. You can always get retested a little while after starting in with a new sex partner and then a number of months after that. That approach works even if the other person won't get tested, but you may have to medically get rid of something or end up with a endless regime of drugs for a chronic situation (HIV).

One of the problems with trust relationships is that people don't get tested in a timely manner, so the diseases can progress to life changing stages. They are not usually widely spread by the partners in such cases if the trust is there (such as someone catching something from a previous encounter that they don't disclose).

[Little]

I've been tested, though I'm not really sure to what degree. My gyno insisted that it was "routine" to get tested for gonorrhea and a few other things "at your age," so I said yes. I was also tested for HIV at least once during my pregnancy. Somewhere along the line I (think that I) had HPV. I say that I think I had it because I heard my OB and nurse talking about it outside the door of my last appointment. I guess we'll see in a few weeks when I get my next pap ... there's always the tiny chance they were talking about somebody else But I doubt it. It would have been nice if they had honestly let me know about it, but as I understand it is not a big deal, as far as STDs go.

STDs were definitely on my mind before getting tested - I was informed during college orientation that the county we were in had the highest rate of STDs in the whole state. That's a big statistic. Testing has never been a big deal to me, definitely never changed my mind about my sexual behavior. Before I was monogamous or married, I had a handful of casual sexual encounters, at least a few of which I didn't worry about condoms with. Definitely not the smartest move I ever made, and I was lucky to come out relatively unscathed.
I'm not sure that, in a hypothetical world where I were polyamorous again, I'd insist on potential partners getting tested. Too much room for false security if your partner is lying. I don't know how a person could really tell with a brand-new partner whether they're lying about having been tested or their results. I'd be much more fastidious about condom use, though.

[Mes T]

I was tested for a couple of specific STDs (like Little) a few years back. Then more recently I went in to the doc with the intention of getting a full STD test, and I was told that there is no way to test for everything, that it has to be for one specific thing like gonorrhea, and then I was basically told to go home.

BD, did they test you for everything or just for one or two things?

[Ashlee T.]

I just told them I wanted a full STD test, it tested for HIV, gonorrea, syphillis, hpv, hept*****, chlamydia, herpes.

I'm not sure why they told you that Mes. Anyone I've known that has been tested did a full spectrum test. I can't imagine having to be tested individually for each thing. :\