[Strabeary]

My bf thinks he has a problem because he can only ejaculate inside me when we're having sex doggy style. With all the other positions, he can never finish and in fact, becomes soft very quickly. I keep telling him that he has the most control in that position and feels comfortable enough to ejaculate, but he doesn't buy it. Maybe it has something to do with his lack of experience. I don't know.... am I right or is he right?

[Element]

Sometimes it mainly has to do with the friction he's getting, how turned on he is and the angle he's going into you. Ask him how it feels for him when he's having doggy style sex.

[Ashlee T.]

I think when in the doggy style positions your muscles are a bit more contracted and the position itself leads to greater "friction" for the guy. It also allows for deeper penetration, with a nice view of the booty which a lot of guys like. It could also be that he feels more comfortable and confident in that position because you're not able to look directly at him. For example, sometimes I feel a little wilder and more uninhibited with the lights off. I feel like I can relax more and typically enjoy the sex more.

If he masturbates frequently, it made be worth a shot to back off on that for a while and see if it helps. So often men get so familiar with the tightness of their own hand they have a hard time being fully satisfied by a vagina which in most cases can't possibly achieve the same "grip".

[AshB$]

My fiance's favorite is doggy style. I can tell it feels best for him! And maybe it feels that way for your bf too. It's that's his thing, that's cool! There's nothing wrong with it. Some guys can't ejaculate at all.

[jamesmarshalls]

I agree with ash, Most of us like this because we're more comfortable on this style.

[jns]

When a guy is able to ejaculate in one position and does not in others, it can become a self fulfilling prophesy. Every time he does it doggy style and ejaculates and every time he does it other positions and goes soft, it reinforces his mental state. He has to get excited to the point of being on the verge of ejaculating and then do other positions and ejaculating to overcome this conditioning. After doing this enough, he will be able to ejaculate in other positions. Lack of experience can be a large contributing factor to this as he has not yet worked it all out. It may have started with him feeling too vulnerable in other positions.

[WannaBee]

Try varying his favourite position bit by bit.

For instance he can put his legs outside or inside your legs.
You can kneel on the edge of the bed with him standing on the ground.
Eventually try lying on the bed with him lying on your back.

If it is **only** a friction issue, you might want to consider using an anal toy, such as beads or a butt plug.
The toy stays in your backside while having sex. This will considerably tighten your vagina and thereby increase the friction.

The most important thing is: Do NOT put him under any pressure whatsoever. Pressure is the worst performance killer there is.
If he goes limb, be loving and caring. Do what you normally do to make him hard and start again.
Never ever show that your are disappointed or turned off.

[Strabeary]

Thanks for all the advice! We did have a talk and I was asking him a bunch of questions and he admitted that that was his absolute favorite position because he feels the most comfortable and has the most control.

* Wannabee: I have never and will never put any pressure on him. I would hate it if he (or someone else) would do that to me, so I don't. All the times that he's gone soft, he starts to get upset and disappointed at himself. He's very hard (no pun intended) on himself when it comes to sex :/

[WannaBee]

He's displaying a typical reaction of a considerate man.

He blames himself (he could be blaming you, which he is not. Good!).
Blaming himself is also very unhelpful as he puts himself under pressure.
An amazing gf might manage to decrease this pressure (which is an insanely hard thing to do).

You might want to try tell him, that for you, sex is about the intimate connection and the feelings and not about any world records and (multiple) big Os every time.
That way he me be less hard on himself, which can only do you both a lot of good.
However, this tactic might monumantally fail, if he thinks that you are not sincere only say such a thing to help him.
So you should be weighing your options.

Finally, the most important thing is communication (as you are discovering).
If you keep talking, you should find a way that works for both of you.
In the end, great sex is about making it work for the two of you and not for anyone else.