[AshB$]

But that's not how it worked out. bottom line is, we're with each other now, and we're committing ourselves to each other, and that's more than any girls he was with or any guys I was with gets.

I think you are dead on. You get it. It does suck. I just need to focus on us, which I have been. I'm really insecure. I admit that. Jealously definitely plays a role. But I do know he's all about me now. But as you were saying, it sucks.

[SaharaJim]

AshB$; maybe it isn't "supportive" enough; but do you really think you are ready to marry this man? You are uncomfortable with his work ethic, you don't like working for his family, you are "uncomfortable" with his sexual history and feel that he has lied to you about it, you are entering a relationship with a plan to use /withhold sex as a "punishment"; you take off your engagement ring when displeased. I don't mean to be a "wet blanket" on your marriage plans ; but marriage is a life commitment. I hear you throwing up all sorts of roadblocks to that marriage. Maybe its just a case of pre-wedding jitters...or maybe you aren't really ready for this. The ONLY person to decide that is you. All I am saying is go back and read your posts of the last week and a half. Are you willing to do your "Wedding Dance" through the "minefield" you have laid out?

[AshB$]

And no one else has issues?
And honestly, my posts are quite positive considering how I used to view my life. I have struggled and I'm doing much better. I want more than anything to marry him. I'm not doubting that.
I love his family dearly. I just hate the whole "industrial" atmosphere. It isn't my thing but I need the money.
If I, or anyone, let any one problem get in the way of wanting to get married, everyone would die alone. I haven't met one married couple who doesn't have issues.

[AshB$]

And I apologize if I ever come off *itchy. Not my intention

[SaharaJim]

Not at all! OK; like I said the ONLY one to answer the question is YOU. It may be simple "jitters" when it comes down to making the committment. But I was just saying that you seemed to be throwing up a lot of "roadblocks". Maybe you and fiance need to spend some serious "talking time" that starts with: "I love you . I am not "going" anywhere. But we (I) need to talk about....."

[AshB$]

I agree. I can be a mess. Since birth I've been a little anxious about every little thing.
I am craving some serious attention from him. Not that he ignores me. I just feel a bit needy lately. I think my body needs to get use to these hormones. I recently started birth control. Maybe that's it. I'd still be upset either way.
One thing my fiance did say to me this morning is he apologizes for not focussing on the wedding as much as I have been. He thinks we need to do that more. So I know he really wants my forgiveness. I don't even care so much about the ex's now. It's just the honesty thing. He hasn't told me big lies. It's just he always made it known how important honesty is to him, so it's shocking he'd try to cover something up or whatever he did. I don't even know the truth but I think I'm slowly becoming chill again

[LanaBear]

I know I'm a little late on this, but meh, what the heck...

My opinion... He may have lied, but it sounds like he did it to protect your feelings. Which isn't right but it doesn't sound like he did it intentionally to hurt you but to protect you.

And my view on partners... This is how I think. EVERYONE has a past, good, bad or indifferent. 0 partners or 100 partners, but whatever happened in that past is just that... The past. Everything he did or didn't do with anybody else, all led him on his path to YOU. YOU, his fiance, his partner, his friend and his lover. Don't hate on that. Take it all with a grain of salt, without his past, he wouldn't have ended up where he is today with you. Love him and look forward to the future.

[AshB$]

That is very true, thanks!

[Guest]

They are history for a reason.

You are his current and the one he wants to marry for a reason.

Everyone has a past or some form of "skeletons in the closet" that we'd all like to change. We can't.
So all of us must move forward and make the best of what lies in front of us.

Everything happens for a reason - IMO.

Look ahead, keep moving forward...

[AshB$]

IT IS A SMALL WORLD.

Me being the obsessive freak I am, was looking up every little thing I could on my fiance's ex. Crying all night. Upset not only with that, but other issues.

Fast forward to today. I decided to look her up on Facebook (Kendra). 3 friends incommon. One happened to be my best friend since 6th grade, Amber. So I texted her and asked if she knew the girl. She asked why.... And I explained how it was Scott's ex. She freaked. Recently she was telling me how one of our (ex) friends, Krystal, was trying to play a prank on her.

Amber was having sex with a guy named John. John had a girlfriend. So Krystal texted Amber from her iPod pretending to be John's (now ex) girlfriend saying she has herpes or HIV, can't remember and said she should get herself checked. I am very well aware how immature this little number was. First off, Amber wasn't stupid. Just to make sure she looked up John's ex on Facebook and started talking to her. It was Kendra, whom also happened to be Scott (my fiance's) ex. Small world, huh?

So they started talking, Kendra said she didn't have any idea what Amber was talking about. She never texted her. She knew it was Krystal.

Well I saw they were friends on Facebook, and Amber explained it to me. So me being so upset, hurt, heart broken, I told Amber to ask Kendra about Scott. She wasn't as bad as Scott made her out to be. She said Scott was very selfish, and a couple other things. She said she doesn't regret being a ***** to him. All that. I told Amber to ask about sex- my main concern. And she said Scott was very shy about it and only had sex once or twice before her. So that pretty much confirmed my belief, they probably had sex more than once, unlike he told me.

It kind of coped my jealousy. She seemed like a normal girl. Seemed like she, herself, was hurt from the relationship (as a female, I can relate). I know they had sex. I can't change that. It's always gonna bother me a little bit. But Amber talking to Kendra about this really helped me. I feel calmer. Better about myself. I don't know why. I brought it up to Scott that they were talking, he seems nervous. Whatever. I'm not mad. I know he probably lied, or twisted the truth. Probably just to protect me. I am not mad at the moment. I feel calmer. I'm glad I found out some "truth". I think it is really helping me cope with my own personal issues. I was scared of what Kendra might say, but it has helped me so far. I am feeling better.