[Prettybones]

I slept with a guy who is a friend of a friend. Him and I have hit it off before (made out and cuddled while out partying). This guy is known for being the uncommitted type and he has a lot of girls he could easily sleep with. He is in a band, which I'm sure increases his cockiness. Anyway, two nights ago I slept with him after running into him at my friends house after a long night of drinking. I found out also he had a girl over the night previous as well and didn't have a problem mentioning it. He acted interested flirting all night and being touchy feely. Knowing his reputation I knew this would be a one time thing.

To make a long story short we slept together and I don't regret the fun we had. However, I am starting to feel guilty because we did not use protection. Also his attitude the next morning bothered me. He told me I had to leave because he had work and walked out of his room. He texted me later worried and asking if I had the morning after pill. I said yes. I know nothing was going to come out of this fling but it still makes me feel guilty because of how the night turned out.

I'm not sure if I should just forget about him. This would probably be the best option judging by his reputation. I know I also need to get tested for stds. It's also awkward because I run into him frequently. We live right down the street from each other. I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Thanks.

[LanaBear]

Your best course of action is obviously getting tested, which you know.

Like you said, you don't necessarily regret it but the guilt is starting to sink in. You may not have made the smartest choice by sleeping with him, but we all have those things in life that we've done that we know we shouldn't have. Try avoiding him for a while, until you can get over your feelings regarding the situation. Just don't get caught up in it again. I think here, it sounds like the typical "bad boy attraction" thing. Most of us can attest to having that at least once in our lives. Like I said, try staying out of his social circle for a while, I know it is easier said than done, if you happen to run into him, just be indifferent. It sounds like he is the kind of guy that really craves that female attention, any kind of attention, so just shrug your shoulders and walk away.

[rcoreyus]

It was a mistake, but one that a lot of people have made. Learn from it but don't stress over it.

[jamesmarshalls]

Don't stress over, unless you felt something from him aside from just one night.

[Hugo-B]

There was nothing wrong with your behavior. Don't feel guilty, single people can do this, it's not against the Law.

A man like this will only wear a condom if YOU insist he does. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed, or like a prude the next time you sleep with a man if you have to put your foot down and insist he uses a condom, he'll soon come round to your way of thinking once he realizes he won't get any otherwise.

The only thing I find slightly distasteful was his behavior in the morning, he could have been a bit more sensitive, though at least he hasn't misled you. You should hopefully have taken a MA pill, and for your peace of mind being tested won't hurt either.

He is likely going to act like nothing happened (unless he thinks he has another chance when it suits him) I suggest you do your best to behave the same way. If you let him use you again expect the same treatment the next morning, alternatively if you just want to have some fun with him again just insist he shrink wraps his little soldier next time.

[DreamP346]

Could not agree with buddhaboy more. Nothing wrong with feeling confident about what you want sexually. It seems you were very clear about what you were getting into have sex with him. You had fun. You have not expectations from you. The guilt is a side effect of societal pressues that a) tells women they shouldn't enjoy sex, b) makes sex something that should only be enjoyed with someone you love and c) encourages women to wait till after marriage. You did nothing wrong (besides not using protection, but just be more careful the next time). There is nothing wrong with being empowered to engage in sex on your own terms.

[Hugo-B]

Could not agree with buddhaboy more. Nothing wrong with feeling confident about what you want sexually. It seems you were very clear about what you were getting into have sex with him. You had fun. You have not expectations from you. The guilt is a side effect of societal pressues that a) tells women they shouldn't enjoy sex, b) makes sex something that should only be enjoyed with someone you love and c) encourages women to wait till after marriage. You did nothing wrong (besides not using protection, but just be more careful the next time). There is nothing wrong with being empowered to engage in sex on your own terms.

x2 on the guilt/shame thing, ignore it, you did nothing wrong. I just don't get why guys need to be dicks in the morning. A cup of teas/coffee in the morning and a lift home is the gentlemanly thing to do IMO.

[Prettybones]

There was nothing wrong with your behavior. Don't feel guilty, single people can do this, it's not against the Law.

A man like this will only wear a condom if YOU insist he does. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed, or like a prude the next time you sleep with a man if you have to put your foot down and insist he uses a condom, he'll soon come round to your way of thinking once he realizes he won't get any otherwise.

The only thing I find slightly distasteful was his behavior in the morning, he could have been a bit more sensitive, though at least he hasn't misled you. You should hopefully have taken a MA pill, and for your peace of mind being tested won't hurt either.

He is likely going to act like nothing happened (unless he thinks he has another chance when it suits him) I suggest you do your best to behave the same way. If you let him use you again expect the same treatment the next morning, alternatively if you just want to have some fun with him again just insist he shrink wraps his little soldier next time.

Thanks for the advice. As I predicted I haven't talked to him, and I ran into him at another mutual friends house. As soon as I saw him he acted like NOTHING had happened said hi and asked me how my night was and went about his business. He avoided me the whole night and I avoided him until I left. Awkward. He also went outside for a long time to avoid me and talked to my good friend's boyfriend for a good half hour (I'm sure about what happened). Apparently he told our mutual friends what had happened even before I told them and thankfully he had good things to say (he had fun, and so on).

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think sweet, you need to understand something.

It is OK for a woman to be assertive, knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it. Your attitude with him should be a simple smile and you doing the walking around the room talking to others, showing that assertiveness.

Being a woman, our "emotions" seems to get into the way and we wonder if bad things are being said, if the is thinking bad things, if our reputation is in tack.

We live once in this body, I've said this 1000 times And, it is our body we should respect it ourselves but in that, be ourselves. The only person who can judge you is you, no one else.

You did what YOU wanted. You kind of knew he wasn't going to be all nice in the morning but don't think that's because he didn't appreciate what occured, he simply doesn't want a relationship and is happy being the cocky dude he is, until he does want one, one day...

You also probably know full well, that prevention is better than cure With a guy like this? Don't take those risks hun. Hormones are one thing, getting herpies for life is another. Let alone pregnancy..

You know that saying, "If it's not on, it's not on" be assertive there as well