[Tigress]

I don't understand it. A guy inserts his penis into a woman's vagina. What feels good about that?

I am beginning to hate sex and can't understand why other women can not only tolerate it but enjoy it.

Sex, both anal and vaginal, is very very painful. I just wanted him to finish so he could get out. Vaginal is even worse and just as painful. I cried like a baby both times and hurted for hours.


What is it about sex that women like?

[Hugo-B]

This is probably a conversation you should have with a sex therapist. Sex should be something both partners can share and enjoy together.

[ItsASecret]

If you are not aroused or lubricated it is going to hurt no matter how many times he puts his penis inside. If a man does not bother trying to arouse his partner, quickly gets into the act, does not take the time to have her achieve lubrication and general relaxation then yes sex can be a meaningless painful act. But once the vaginal muscles are relaxed enough to accommodate as well as lubrication is there then sex does feel good. But a lot of sex has to do with the mental arousal state. A woman can put something like her finger inside her vagina and derive zero physical pleasure from it, the actual insertion tends to have no affect at all...it is how aroused she is coupled with the physical stimulation that creates the feel good feelings.

If you have never had a guy spend quality time with you trying to make you aroused and be gentle then there is little in the way of enjoyment. Are you mentally aroused when you have sex? Do you have any lubrication going on during the act?

[Magnetism]

If you are not aroused or lubricated it is going to hurt no matter how many times he puts his penis inside. If a man does not bother trying to arouse his partner, quickly gets into the act, does not take the time to have her achieve lubrication and general relaxation then yes sex can be a meaningless painful act. But once the vaginal muscles are relaxed enough to accommodate as well as lubrication is there then sex does feel good. But a lot of sex has to do with the mental arousal state. A woman can put something like her finger inside her vagina and derive zero physical pleasure from it, the actual insertion tends to have no affect at all...it is how aroused she is coupled with the physical stimulation that creates the feel good feelings.

If you have never had a guy spend quality time with you trying to make you aroused and be gentle then there is little in the way of enjoyment. Are you mentally aroused when you have sex? Do you have any lubrication going on during the act?

Agree with this. I think we women need to be aware of the difference between mentally aroused and physically aroused. I could be in the mood mentally, but my body needs to catch up.

I had the same problem as the OP, until I learned about clitoral stimulation or having an orgasm BEFORE penetration, watching erotica before intercourse to arouse me, and being with the right man. If you're with the wrong guy, don't like him or have no attraction to him, that could be part of the problem.

If you read the site clitoris.com (or something like that), it says that a lot of women don't get much pleasure from penetration and that's just a preference. It depends on how sensitive your vagina is and your anatomy. I prefer oral sex and manual stimulation over intercourse.

[Tigress]

If you are not aroused or lubricated it is going to hurt no matter how many times he puts his penis inside. If a man does not bother trying to arouse his partner, quickly gets into the act, does not take the time to have her achieve lubrication and general relaxation then yes sex can be a meaningless painful act. But once the vaginal muscles are relaxed enough to accommodate as well as lubrication is there then sex does feel good. But a lot of sex has to do with the mental arousal state. A woman can put something like her finger inside her vagina and derive zero physical pleasure from it, the actual insertion tends to have no affect at all...it is how aroused she is coupled with the physical stimulation that creates the feel good feelings.

If you have never had a guy spend quality time with you trying to make you aroused and be gentle then there is little in the way of enjoyment. Are you mentally aroused when you have sex? Do you have any lubrication going on during the act?

Yes, he did use lubriant. As for mental stimulation, I don't know.

All I know is it was horrible and one of the most painful experiences of my life. I never want to have sex again, never.

[ItsASecret]

Was it your first time? If so that can hurt for any woman because of the initial stretching of the vagina and breaking the hymen if it is still intact. If it was your first time then just know that sex does come a lot easier later on after the first few experiences. It kinda sounds like you were not even remotely prepared for sex if it hurt that much. Sex not be hurting to the point of tears and completely wanting to avoid it in the future. If you do engage in sex again you should not just have a little lube it should be quite a bit and you need to be sexually aroused mentally...horny if you like to use that word lol.

[jns]

I don't understand it. A guy inserts his penis into a woman's vagina. What feels good about that?

I am beginning to hate sex and can't understand why other women can not only tolerate it but enjoy it.

Sex, both anal and vaginal, is very very painful. I just wanted him to finish so he could get out. Vaginal is even worse and just as painful. I cried like a baby both times and hurted for hours.


What is it about sex that women like?

The vagina is shaped by nature for the penis to be inserted. Nature has provided plenty of nerve endings that can be stimulate causing chemical releases in the brain. Everything is set up for pleasure in mankind. If the penis wasn't inserted, possibly all mammals would not exist.

You could have any of a number of conditions that could be causing the pain. Having pain is not normal in most relationships where the man is using reasonable technique (kissing/hugging; followed by foreplay - hopefully with female orgasm; followed by intercourse).

[Magnetism]

Even if lubricant is used, it's still possible that your body is telling you that you're not ready.

Are you anxious or tense before insertion? Are you anticipating the pain? It makes it hard for you to open up to someone if you're wanting to get it over with.

If you can orgasm from clitoral stimulation, I would say that's the best way to totally relax your body to open up for penetration. Or start having sex when you know your clit is highly stimulated and you get that tingly feeling. Sometimes kissing and hugging or caressing isn't enough to get a woman's body aroused.

[DreamP346]

You say you cried both times. What was your partner doing while you were crying. If he was continueing with his own pleasure, then that is the issue.

[DreamP346]

Also, what does your partner do to get you in the mood? What do you do to get yourself in the mood?