[LanaBear]

I'm also curious as to know if this is your first few times having sex...

Sex is not pleasant the first handful of times for a woman. Frankly, it kind of sucks. You've gotten a lot of good advice already. I think it would be good to talk a bit and find out more about your experience and how your partner is handling your responses.

[AshB$]

It feels so good! And the intimacy is to die for. I love being so close and personal with my man. It's a bond I will never share with anyone else!

I am guessing you recently lose your virginity, and it will hurt. It hurt for me for a while. It does get better.

If it has been a while and still hurting, lube. Make sure it is really wet. Both you and his penis.

Also, make sure he is making you horny first. FOREPLAY. It's a give and take. Hope it gets better for you!

[Mes T]

Like others have mentioned, for many women stimulation of the clitoris is WORLDS more pleasurable (and what can make most of us climax) than penis-in-vagina zzzZZZzzzzzz snooze fest let me think about the dishes in the sink and what I have to do at worktomorrowmylifesucks... lol

Doesn't sound like your guy is all that knowledgeable about sex either, if you're clearly uncomfortably and crying and he's still going at it?

I would start from square one if I were you and study anatomy, get some good modern books on sex and pleasure, and involve your partner in this educational journey.

[Magnetism]

I respectfully disagree though that the pain will go away if you keep having sex. I made this mistake in college thinking that my vagina was too tight. I kept having sex as much as I could, tried to take the pain, and hoped that it would magically stop. But, the pain never did go away and it made things worse (body being conditioned to think sex=pain). If it starts to hurt, I would suggest stop. Try the orgasming from the clitoris and see how it goes, or maybe have him enter in slowly little by little.

[Tigress]

To answer some questions:

Anal was horrible, but it happened when I was really young. He told me to relax and everything and I guess I didn't, it hurted and I became numb. He asked was I okay and I finally said no and he finished. He saw me crying and basically said I didn't finish is the reason why I didn't like it and everything. He offered to do something to me down there with his hand and I declined.

The vaginal time he inserted himself and I screamed and he withdrew. He didn't believe that I was a virgin and he apologized and kissed and held me til I about fell asleep.

I had a pap smear yesterday, and since that's what sex feels like, then I just don't think sex is for me.

[ItsASecret]

So yes to it being your first time? It hurts for most women the first time simply because of the lack of knowing what it is going to feel like and because the hymen may need to be broken...breaking that flap of skin is likely going to hurt. What makes the situation worse is a man who basically forces it to happen. The description of this guy not believing you were a virgin and essentially forced into anal would by all means make any woman cry in pain. You need to find a guy who is not forceful like that, who respects you, who takes his time pleasing you and helping you into the situation. There are nice guys like that out there. I know it is difficult to imagine sex feeling good after being in such pain but it does get better and it is very enjoyable if the man you are with cares about how you feel.

[jns]

To have anal as your first sexual experience was not good. Most who have written about it here have said the first time was uncomfortable or painful. That probably had you tense up before your first vaginal intercourse. What could have been painless, uncomfortable, or painful depending on the situation was made worse by your first experience at sex.

Added on top of that, the guy you were with was rough and he sounds like he was a beginner.

You first need to find a guy that you like or love who will be very gentle and slow. He should get you ready for intercourse by either using his hands to gently clitorally masturbate you or using his tongue to do the same. It may be advantageous if he is smaller than average in both girth and length as you may be less apprehensive. Such guys are sometimes better at foreplay.

[kathyn]

Like others have mentioned, for many women stimulation of the clitoris is WORLDS more pleasurable (and what can make most of us climax) than penis-in-vagina zzzZZZzzzzzz snooze fest let me think about the dishes in the sink and what I have to do at worktomorrowmylifesucks... lol

Doesn't sound like your guy is all that knowledgeable about sex either, if you're clearly uncomfortably and crying and he's still going at it?

I would start from square one if I were you and study anatomy, get some good modern books on sex and pleasure, and involve your partner in this educational journey.

Sucks for you that you (and your man) find PIV a snooze fest, I love it!

[Mes T]

Sucks for you that you (and your man) find PIV a snooze fest, I love it!

To each their own, right? Might help the OP to know that "sex" doesn't have to just be penis in vagina.

[Magnetism]

I wish I could find that one site the clitoris or something where the lady explains that every vagina is different. Some are more sensitive than others. Agree that sex doesn't have to be P in V. Who cares what bill clinton says, lol.