[pleaseineedhelp]

Hello,
I lost my virginity to my boyfriend back in April and after trying a bunch more times, it is still incredibly painful when he enters. We have very good communication and can openly talk about sex, so he is aware of my problem and is supportive. I just want to know how to fix this because isn't sex supposed to be a pleasurable experience? That's what I always thought, atleast.
I'll start off by telling you that it is not due to a lack of lubricant. There is always a lot of foreplay before sex, and we even have store-bought lubricant just in case. I will also say that this is something I want, that I fully trust my partner, that I am ready, that I use proper birth control, and that I have never had some kind of tramatic experience, so this can't be some kind of emotional problem. As well, I do whatever I can to relax my muscles when he enters, but it just seems like it won't go in. There has to be something physically wrong with me. I haven't bled yet, which has made me wonder if my hymen is still intact, but the thing is that he has been fully inside (and might I add he is not small, nor is he a giant) and I have even asked him to thrust to see if we could break it, but that only resulted in tearing my skin.
I am aware that relationships aren't all about sex, but I do feel it is an important part of it. It really saddens me that we can't be together this way, so I just want to fix it! I haven't talked to a doctor because I just don't know where to go and I am incredibly shy. Please ladies, I need some advice

[DreamP346]

You can always go to your local Planned Parenthood.

Sometimes it can take a while for your body to get used to intercourse. There are toys that can help stretch you involving dildos of progressing sizes that you slowly use over time. Not all women bleed. Many women lose their hymen just over time, not sex. Just continue doing things what are enjoyable like mutual masturbation and oral. Try fingering, progressively putting more fingers in. Take it slow. If it hurts, stop.

[judyg974]

Have you ever tried using a vibrator while he enters?? or just before it?? I use one regularly and it makes sex a lot more pleasurable and allows you to control when you come...so you can have a quickie or continue for longer. If you're not comfortable with that, maybe he can use lube and rub you while he enters..that usually helps a lot.. Some times it hurts for me too... i think we don't realize how tense we are.. but any time i have other forms of stimulation it goes away... hope this helps!! And if not talk about it more and try and think of different positions or different environment?

[MissNorty]

I know the feeling! My first time was with my ex. We had the same prob.. wouldn't go in, to me it felt like it would go in a lil bit then, stop like somthing was blocking it, then any further would hurt like a M*&^%& F^%&** !!!!!!! Anyway long story short... I wasn't attracted to him in any way, I was just with him for the sake of it till I finished High School (I know bad..) He didn't turn me on in any way... the sex was horrible.. And I dumped him not long after. (Im not saying do this!! lol)

So I had a bit a of a break, during then I did experiment and use a few toys, at the start It was really hard to get them in, I think cos I was just soooo tight, then it got better, easier. Maybe you should try? Then I met my new guy.. Incredible attraction between us.. he turns me on so much, before we even started having sex. First time with him.. Not a worry, I think cos i wanted it so bad, and was highly aroused - And I hadn't used any toys for awhile before then. My theory - The amount of arousal determins A LOT!!!!!! My advice - Use some toys, experiment with yourself, it may make it easier next time you and your man try

[Butterflyy]

Try just having him go slowly at first, putting just a little in and then take it back out and try again. The first time I had sex it started to hurt a lot, and he could tell, I told him to go back out and then back in. He did, and the next time it wasn't painful, just more of a stretching feeling, and once he was all the way in I was fine. I have also read on here that having sex causes your vagina to widen and become looser (obviously) but that it takes a long time for it to go back to normal. So having sex more frequently might help as well. Manual stimulation from him might also help, my boyfriend does "finger" me, and I remember the first time he did it with just one finger and it hurt at first, but then it was fine. When he later tried two fingers, same thing. The first time it hurt and I jumped, he went out and back in and it was fine. Sometimes he uses three fingers, which again hurt at first but it was better after a couple tries. If we would go a long time without the three fingers I would notice an almost painful stretching feeling when he would start. So I would definitely try that on the days that you guys don't have sex, have him try it with his fingers to see if that will help keep you "stretched out."