[Warrioress]

Hello everyone,

I am a woman who is plagued by a myth of anal intercourse. Some say it's painful and others say it's extremely pleasurable, often reaching explosive orgasms. I have never tried anal sex before. And in straight porn, most (not all, but most) of the women seem to be in agony and are clearing faking it. However, in gay porn, the men truly seem to be enjoying themselves? So which is it? Is it etrotic stimulation of the nerve endings or is it an anal assault that'll keep you sitting sideways for days? Both men and women, gay or straight, who have been on the receiving or giving end are welcome to give their honest answers and true experiences.

[Fallen1]

Do a quick search on this topic and you will find that there are many threads past and present on this particular issue. You may find the answers to your question(s).

[lizzardb63]

I've tried it once, and we probably did it wrong (not enough lube, probably the worst position you could), but we had some cocktails and it just sort of happened...and let me tell you... It hurt to poo for DAYS! And he wasn't even in all the way...just the head! Ever since then, I've been fearful of it, and he's been asking me over and over for it... I should just give it a REAL shot this time... actually do it right. But, at that time, it felt really strange. Sort of like a turd going the wrong way. Not that it was the worst feeling, but just strange. Sometimes my fiance will put a finger in my anus during sex, and I don't like that. Just isn't a good feeling...so I geuss I'll find out some day if that's what it feels like. I do have friends who say they have anal sex and enjoy it, but maybe it's not for everyone. My fiance is a very large man and perhaps that will make the experience less enjoyable.

[Bug_Lady]

I think my aversion may have to do with an ex. I always said no and he always wanted to. A few times he forced fingers in without my permission (actually directly against what I said) and it has scarred me. This was 7 years ago but I don't know if that feeling will ever fully go away. Mine is definitely more mental. I hate the thought of it but I don't know that it has anything to do with pain.

I agree, some women I talk to swear by it and like it better than vaginal and some think it's the most painful experience ever. Personal preference I guess?

[LittlePip]

It is painful, if you do not take care to do it properly and warm up into it. You need a very erect penis (nothing less is going to get it, it's like trying to get a soggy biscuit through a keyhole!) and you need to be very relaxed. Start with a finger and lots of lube an work your way up. It takes time. This helps explain why these 'anal virgins' in porn seem to be in pain (though I think that is part of the attraction with this type of porn) and gay men truly enjoy it, they have done it enough to accommodate a penis with ease.

People who enjoy it also trust in the pleasure enough to relax both anal sphincter muscles enough to accommodate whatever you are inserting. If you feel the muscles clench (your BF will feel this too) you must stop, hold still, deep breath and wait for them to relax before you slowly, gradually go again. It can help if you ease yourself back or down onto him so you (the party feeling the sensations) can control the speed. The first few times may be slow, but once you get used to it it will get better and better. Lots and lots of lube!

[Hugo-B]

I've only done it about three times, and that was because the girl asked me to. I didn't particularly enjoy it. I've let my GF stick her fingers up me to massage my prostate but it just felt like I was going to have an accident so I abandoned the mission so to speak.

From a man's POV I think vaginal sex is MUCH better. I would like to experience this elusive prostate orgasm but I'll put of trying again until I'm on holiday or something so we've got some time to ourselves without any distractions.

[Hugo-B]

It is painful, if you do not take care to do it properly and warm up into it. You need a very erect penis (nothing less is going to get it, it's like trying to get a soggy biscuit through a keyhole!) and you need to be very relaxed. Start with a finger and lots of lube an work your way up. It takes time. This helps explain why these 'anal virgins' in porn seem to be in pain (though I think that is part of the attraction with this type of porn) and gay men truly enjoy it, they have done it enough to accommodate a penis with ease.

People who enjoy it also trust in the pleasure enough to relax both anal sphincter muscles enough to accommodate whatever you are inserting. If you feel the muscles clench (your BF will feel this too) you must stop, hold still, deep breath and wait for them to relax before you slowly, gradually go again. It can help if you ease yourself back or down onto him so you (the party feeling the sensations) can control the speed. The first few times may be slow, but once you get used to it it will get better and better. Lots and lots of lube!

Good post, Pip

Will the man's size have anything to do with the pain factor?

[Hugo-B]

I've tried it once, and we probably did it wrong (not enough lube, probably the worst position you could), but we had some cocktails and it just sort of happened...and let me tell you... It hurt to poo for DAYS! And he wasn't even in all the way...just the head! Ever since then, I've been fearful of it, and he's been asking me over and over for it... I should just give it a REAL shot this time... actually do it right. But, at that time, it felt really strange. Sort of like a turd going the wrong way. Not that it was the worst feeling, but just strange. Sometimes my fiance will put a finger in my anus during sex, and I don't like that. Just isn't a good feeling...so I geuss I'll find out some day if that's what it feels like. I do have friends who say they have anal sex and enjoy it, but maybe it's not for everyone. My fiance is a very large man and perhaps that will make the experience less enjoyable.

I think the margin of error for anal is much greater than it is with vaginal sex. I tried to do anal with my first GF (neither of us had done it before) and pretty much the same thing happened, I tried to go in much to fast, with zero preparation and just a little saliva for lube, basically the OPPOSITE of Little Pips advice!

[LittlePip]

Good post, Pip

Will the man's size have anything to do with the pain factor?

Thanks. Yes, obviously the better 'endowed' the man, particularly his girth, the longer it will take to warm up and accommodate that size.

I was fortunate to have my first anal experience with a young man who probably wasn't fully developed (legal, yes, but young) so we had plenty of time to try and he was on the smaller side, girth wise at least. There is still hope for the larger sizes, it just requires more patience and preparation.

[lizzardb63]

It takes time to just get his penis into my vagina...and those muscles stretch a lot more and faster...lol. He is about 2 inches wide and 9 inches long (guesstimate). That's big to me at least...