[S.Johnson]

Hi all,

First post, I will try to keep it concise but I'd like some advice.

I started dating a girl a few months months ago. We get along great and are open/comfortable with one another especially considering how long we've been together. The sex is fantastic, but she hasn't reached orgasm with me yet. In fact, she only has twice in her entire life, the most recent being about 3-4 years ago.

We communicate well while having sex, and I spend a lot of time trying a combination of different things to see what works for her. I go down on her, but usually just for the variety since (according to her) the tongue simply doesn't apply enough pressure to her clit to stimulate her to orgasm. Fingering her at specific, random, and difficult to describe angles is most effective.

One other issue. When she is close to orgasm, she needs to focus on the sensation and minimize distractions. For example, if I bite her ear (or do any number of other things, you can use your imagination) when she is getting close it essentially just sets her back. But when I'm first starting to finger her playing with her nipples/ear etc. helps turn her on. It can be tough to tell when I should cut out everything else and concentrate on fingering her, but I am getting better at reading her body language so I can usually tell now. Anyone else experience this?

She clearly loves having sex with me (average about 2-3 times a day, with her initiating about as often as I do). I know I should probably just be more patient, especially since we haven't been together long. But I'm extremely affectionate with her and just want to make her feel good. Should I just give it more time? Oh and we've talked about this at length together, I'm just hoping another perspective will be helpful. Thanks!

[balanced]

Google, Tantric Yoni Massage see what you can find. Worked for me, many many times....

[DreamP346]

Try reading "she comes first". Many people on this site have recommended it. Also, the conversation needs to come during sex as well. She needs to tell you when to stop the other actions. You can't guess it.

[Debs21]

Some women think they are actually going to wee, this is normal so find out if that's what is holding her back. Relax and don't go all out, trying too hard can have the opposite effect on a woman, take it slow and build it up but whatever you do make the person feel loved and that its not the be all and end all, once she has that pressure taken away, relaxes and enjoys it I'm sure it will come as to speak.

[JessaJ]

Invest in some toys I'm like your gf and if anything distracts me I have to start al over. Sometimes it is a pain not only for me but my bf who tries his best and loves to get me there. Anything from change of pressure/rhythem, bed making a noise, different position ect can ruin it for me. Toys make it easier on your poor hands/arms/wrists.

[shoshannah]

If she has only had two orgasms in her life, a good first step would be for her to learnmore about her body and responses in a low-demand setting (i.e., by herself, no time pressure, etc.) Once she has gotten better at having orgasms on her own, it should be easier for her to have them with you.