[Butterflyy]

Okay, so I am fairly positive that my boyfriend still watches porn on occasion even though he has never even spoken even the word "porn" to me. To be honest, the thought of this bothers me and makes me feel like I'm not enough or like I am not available or willing enough (even though I would be open to trying pretty much anything) but that's not the point. I have been considering asking him if we can watch porn together because I have never seen any. Would this be a good idea?

I would feel too guilty if I just looked up porn on my own so I was going to ask him if he does watch porn, then ask him how (like tv or computer), and then ask if I can watch some with him sometime. Right now, since I have never seen any porn before, the thought that porn even exists kind of disgusts me just a little, yet I understand why guys are into it. But, to be honest with myself, seeing pictures of women and men in sexy situations turns me on a little. I mean not enough to be obsessed with it or anything, its just kind of an "Oooo" moment I guess lol I stare for a couple seconds and then move on to the rest of my facebook or pinterest newsfeed.

Back to my point; I have never seen porn and never masturbated before. I just feel like it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as being with my partner. I really enjoy how I don't know exactly what sensation I will be feeling next, and I think that masturbation would take out all of the fun of being sexually aroused. But I also feel curious as to what porn is all about, and maybe I will enjoy watching it with my boyfriend and we can then occasionally use porn as a bit of foreplay or something. But what if I don't? How would I tell him afterwards if I didn't enjoy it and still think it is disgusting therefore disapprove of him watching porn by himself? Talk about an awkward moment lol Thoughts anyone??

[TJPatriot]

It might be awkward for your boyfriend, especially since you could easily phrase yourself poorly and come off as "judging" or "accusatory" which a lot of men are worried about with their girlfriends and porn. It might be easier to give it a chance on your own and maybe take the time to get to know yourself first. Your stance on masturbation I can kind of understand, but it sounds a bit...hmm, don't know the right word, but naive, maybe? Idealistic? I mean, to say you don't masturbate because sex is better is akin to saying you don't do homework because tests are where the grades are. Or you don't compete in "friendly" matches because the World Cup is more important. Just because it may not be the best thing ever doesn't mean it can't still be enjoyable and wonderful.

And a good reason why men are into porn, and masturbate even with a girlfriend has nothing to do with the girl, they're just relaxing. Sex is a lot of work for a guy (and may or may not be depending on the girl) and sometimes we don't want to work hard.

[Nholland]

If ur interested try it out. Just be careful on picking it. Get porn more geared towards women so it's not too nasty and also if the women kinda look like u ull be less jealous, like if ur flat chested n watching girls w huge boobs u might focus on it too much thinking that's what he wants.

[DreamP346]

Go for it, but don't interagate your BF. Just ask, "would you like to watch some porn together sometime. I never have and I'm curious."

The other thing is you can try some soft porn first and see how that goes. Also, there is porn specifically intended for women. I think they are called "women friendly" porn or something like that. Its sex, but just not the usual extremely big busted women with cum shots. It looks more like two people making love.

[Butterflyy]

TJPatriot...yeah I haven't mentioned anything about it to my boyfriend yet but when I do I plan to spend a lot of time very carefully phrasing my words lol and I really like your view on masturbation, those are really good points. Although I didn't mean that I would rather have sex, we don't have actual sex all the time but rather fool around a lot, like fingering, handjobs, oral sex, and so on is much more common for us. But, and maybe this is because I haven't really masturbated before, I don't think I could get myself to really climax by myself. Like when I'm with my boyfriend, a lot of the things we do feel realllyyyy good and I really enjoy them, but the only way I can get an orgasm is by grinding on him. Once when we were talking dirty over text messages I got really turned on and I tried rubbing myself a little, which felt good for a second but I didn't know what to do next and the feeling just kind of stopped lol which, now that I'm explaining this it does sound very naive and maybe I just need to try it a little more lol. And I do see how porn can be like relaxing, getting all of the sexual arousal without all of the work of pleasing you and your partner.

Nholland... I had not thought of that, at all. And that is a really great point, I'm glad I posted this on here lol. I am very small-chested and have had some issues with feeling like it's not appealing like bigger boobs are. He has told me over and over again how he thinks they're perfect, but I would definitely start doubting that again if we started out watching porn with this girl with huge boobs and lots of curves. Maybe when I ask him I will have to be a little specific as to what the people look like.

sp346... I like the way you phrased that, I think I will use that. And yes I think I will ask that we watch some women friendly porn first too lol that sounds so much nicer than cum shots, that sounds gross, I don't think I would enjoy that lol not yet anyway.

Thanks you guys for the comments, they really helped. I now realize that I will have to be a little more specific with the type of porn that we start out with than I originally thought.

[Hugo-B]

Op, I think you've been offered great advice here, I wish I'd had a resource like this to turn to when I was younger.

There's nothing wrong with being naive, so if feel you do feel embarrassed at all, please don't (and I'm not suggesting anyone who raised the possibility of this meant it as a criticism). Masturbating can be a great way for a man or woman to enjoy an emotion free orgasm on their own terms, and at their own convenience. If it doesn't feel quite right for you yet then that's fine, don't put pressure on yourself to move any faster than you feel comfortable with. Your BF is lucky to have someone so caring and open minded.

Is watching porn something you want to do with your BF because it's something you'd like the two of you to do together, or because you want to be included in something he's doing without you? No offense but I think it may be the latter (or you would have likely experimented with watching it already) this could make for quite awkward viewing for the two of you if you are doing this simply because you think you have to - remember you don't have to, you're really not missing out on anything - don't put pressure on yourself to watch porn with your BF if you do not feel a genuine desire or compulsion to do so.

Again, no offense here - as I'm speaking from experience - it sounds like the two of you are relatively inexperienced, as one poster mentioned the women in porn are usually quite fake and potentially intimidating, even in some female friendly porn. The 'size', or at the least the stamina of the men, and possibly their physiques may well make your BF feel slightly embarrassed and/or inadequate, especially if he is young and relatively inexperienced and doesn't last too long.

I agree with the others that you should try and watch some (porn) alone and ask yourself seriously whether this would be something you and your BF could watch together comfortably. Perhaps just start with HJ or BJ porn together and see how you get on, I believe this is a double edged sword, get it right and you'll have great fun, get it wrong and things could be really, really awkward.

In short, I would take great care to select something which wont make either of you feel uncomfortable or put you under any pressure, i.e., you mentioned you're quite flat chested so you obviously don't want to watch a FFF cup woman bouncing up and down on someone; on the flip-side if your BF is average sized and doesn't last too long he wont want to watch a 9 inch man pounding 2 women for 45 minutes.

As long as you treat yourself and your partner with care, respect and compassion you shouldn't tread too far into difficulties, if you do at all.

However you choose to proceed have fun!

[Hugo-B]

Re my post above, I'm not trying to dictate or pontificate here, I've watched porn with my partner and with previous partners. Normally it was a success, once, it was not quite so successful (when I was younger, less experienced and not so confident).

I'm just sharing so if you do choose to try this you'll face less chance of making the mistakes I did, and your experience will hopefully fall into the former and not the latter category of my personal experiences above.

[Butterflyy]

Thanks buddhaboy, you always put so much thought into your advice. I think you're right about me feeling a little not included in him watching porn without me, but I also feel a little curious since I haven't seen any before. But I don't feel comfortable looking any up on my own, I think I would feel guilty looking up porn without my boyfriend knowing, idk maybe if I told him he would tell me it's sexy or something but it would still make me feel uncomfortable doing something like that without him. And I'm still in college and live with my parents over the summer and my dad works on computers for a living so him having access to the same laptop that I have looked up porn on would just make me feel extremely nervous lol otherwise I think I would try to look some up on my own, but I would just feel uncomfortable doing it without my boyfriend and then feel nervous that my parents could find out. Perhaps it is the fact that I would feel so uncomfortable experimenting with sexual pleasure without my partner that I do not like the idea of him doing it without me. But I understand that it is something a lot of people use and I am genuinely curious to see if porn would be a turn on or not for me. I feel like I am pretty open and experimental so I am curious to try porn.

I see how it could be uncomfortable for my boyfriend too, thank you for bringing that up. I'm sure watching porn by himself he would probably be more focused on the women, but watching it with me may make him pay attention to the guy too and try to figure out what I think about him and that could make him uncomfortable. Personally that isn't something that I would even worry about. I mean, sure other men can be attractive, but I genuinely and honestly believe that my boyfriend is the most attractive man ever and nothing could change that. But he could be a little insecure just like me, because even though he tells me all the time that he thinks I am beautiful and perfect I still find flaws with every part of my body and sometimes feel like I am not attractive. Sometimes I even feel like it's more the women that are more attractive than the men anyway when they are put in sexy situations like that, but that may be because I tend to compare myself to them a little and find all the things about them that are better than me. I haven't really thought that he may feel the same way, so thank you for bringing that up.

But my boyfriend and I have a very open relationship. Every time we try something new we always talk about it and decide what was good and what we can improve on or do differently the next time. I feel like we are fairly experimental and talk frequently about trying new things and adding props and such to our activities. I feel like porn is something I am willing to experiment with, even if I have to start slowly.

[TJPatriot]

I see how it could be uncomfortable for my boyfriend too, thank you for bringing that up. I'm sure watching porn by himself he would probably be more focused on the women, but watching it with me may make him pay attention to the guy too and try to figure out what I think about him and that could make him uncomfortable. Personally that isn't something that I would even worry about. I mean, sure other men can be attractive, but I genuinely and honestly believe that my boyfriend is the most attractive man ever and nothing could change that. But he could be a little insecure just like me, because even though he tells me all the time that he thinks I am beautiful and perfect I still find flaws with every part of my body and sometimes feel like I am not attractive. Sometimes I even feel like it's more the women that are more attractive than the men anyway when they are put in sexy situations like that, but that may be because I tend to compare myself to them a little and find all the things about them that are better than me. I haven't really thought that he may feel the same way, so thank you for bringing that up.

This is a good thing to think about for yourself as well. Men watch porn and know they can't match up to what those guys have so there is no point in a woman comparing herself to the women there either. The emotional connection you two share is what closes that gap, so don't worry about not being as good as the person in porn.

Of course, I personally prefer true amateur pornography of home sex tapes and the such. The fact that it's "real" people and not actors helps me mentally enjoy it more. And not everyone there is a supermodel/Pamela Anderson copy.

[Butterflyy]

Thanks TJPatriot, I will have to try and remember that. You are absolutely right, my boyfriend had dated women with bigger breasts and curves but he stuck with me so I guess I must have something going for me right haha It may be hard for me not to compare myself to more attractive women but it's something I need to work on a little more.