[alex0_0]

for those who have done it and have advice.
we've been together for about two and a half years, its getting pretty serious, this has been something I've been wanting to do for a while. We watch porn together, have a pretty wild sex life (not including threesomes), and have sex fairly often. I love her and she loves me and we've talked about it, sometimes she's open to it sometimes she's not.
If I already have the other girl in mind, what's the best scenario to get this to happen?
anyway. thanks!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Alex.

If she feels threatened she will never do it.

You state you have a woman already in mind, that suggests you know her, bad move.

This plays on the part of your partners mind, what if he left me for her?

The only way in my opinion and also from alot of others who have answered simular threads to this over the years, is you plan it out of your Country/State with someone neither of you know, and will never see again.

CW

[chezwylde]

Personally you are better off having 3somes when you are single. 3somes affect relationships. I am bisexual so was quite up to the idea of a 3some. The first partner that suggested it couldn't cope afterwards and constantly accused me of cheating with every man, woman I spoke to.

After being talked into again with another partner (who assured me nothing would change...haha!), he then decided that normal sex between the two of us was too boring, and we never had a good sex life again as a 2some.

Certainly having someone you know involved will only cause problems down the line with jealously etc. Why not trying a swingers club or something similiar first, but obviously you need to be in the mind set that nothing may happen. Certainly forcing the issue with only cause problems in your relationship and you need to decide whats more important.

[jns]

The only way in my opinion and also from alot of others who have answered simular threads to this over the years, is you plan it out of your Country/State with someone neither of you know, and will never see again.

If you try this, make it a fantasy situation, not an ongoing one in the form that CW suggested. If you find it is something that you both can live with and is something you both want on a more common basis, then explore a swingers club option or a steady threesome situation. Know that doing this may affect your current relationship in an unexpected way that is not repairable.

[Hugo-B]

Listen to JNS above. Going to a swingers club and just having sex with each other in front of everyone is a good start.

If you're asking for an FFM, which it sounds like you are, then be prepared for her to counter by asking for an MMF.

TBH, if she wanted to do it she would have brought the idea up by now, and if she doesn't, you shouldn't try hectoring her into it, I'm not saying you are but I am saying don't try. If she's keen on the idea then trust me, she'll pursue it!

If you do get to the stage where you need another girl, I would leave it to her to select and 'approve' one, in fact that's the most likely way you'll find one if you don't have one lined up.

I've not tried threesomes in a relationship, I've tried to talk a girl into one, but I got no further than that, so I can't really advise you any further.

[Guest]

Why not see how see feels about bringing a man in for a three some, let her pick the man. if you feel uncomfortable with that, you may understand why she feels the way she does.

[Hugo-B]

Why not see how see feels about bringing a man in for a three some, let her pick the man. if you feel uncomfortable with that, you may understand why she feels the way she does.

TOUCHE'!

We've got a live one!

[rcoreyus]

I think that this is one of those fantasies that iIs usually a lot more fun in the imagination than in real life. A lot of people wouldn't be comfortable trying this, and of those who do, a lot find that they are not comfortable with the result.

I don't have any moral objections, and I know it can work for some couples, but I think that for most it is not a great idea.

You say you've talked about it. Have you asked outright?

[alex0_0]

well i appreciate all the input. I've asked her if she was every curious or ever considered a MFM and she said no.
Unfortunately I'm not seeing a lot of folks here who have experienced things first hand :/ no matter, I am grateful for the feedback anyway. Always important to have varied opinions!

[Guest]

Perhaps you're missing the point(s). Ever consider that people in here have experienced it and are speaking from a point of experience rather than opinion?

If you're looking for 'support' of your desire to have a threesome, perhaps this is not the place, perhaps a swinger's site is. But if you're looking for honest, open and sincere opinion and thoughts by people who care, and may have already experienced what you're considering, then this is definitely the place.

I am not here to say one way or the other...the only thing I will say is that once this door is opened, it can never be closed.

You also made a couple of statements that are 'interesting'...

"this has been something I've been wanting to do for a while"

This statement screams "It's all about me" to me... what about your partner?

"sometimes she's open to it sometimes she's not."

This statement tells me that she's not even close to being ready, or really even considering it seriously. If she was, it seems to me that she'd be more open to exploring options that might lead you there...like a swinger's club or party.

"If I already have the other girl in mind, what's the best scenario to get this to happen? "

This is a "combo" statement... It tells me that there is another female you want to have sex with outside of your relationship and justify it by including her as the third in your threesome AND your anxious to get this done...what's your hurry?

If "I woke up in your shoes", I'd back off a bit, slow down, stop pushing the subject and wanting to accomplish it within a set time frame. She knows you want to do it. So give her time and let her come to you with the idea on her terms, when she is ready.

Men are like dogs at the back door...we scratch and scratch and scratch thinking no one hears us, until we rip the screen!! Then it's too late, the damage has been done.

Just my opinion...