[fancyfree]

The more posts I read the more I have come to realize that I am far from alone when it comes to my sexual preferences and motivation. I have been married for 17 years now. At 35 with 3 kids I can honestly say that my sex life is more alive now and more satisfying than it has ever been. Shortly after our first child was born my husband made the comment that he was really turned on with how "loose" my vagina felt. At first I thought that he was just saying that, I mean we have all heard the whole "tighter is better" debate over the years. I just kinda brushed it off as him just saying whatever he needed to just to because he was finally back in the saddle again after the 8-10 week lay-off from when our son was born. Then he began discussing it again in greater length and I was very stand offish about the subject. Eventually after many conversations regarding the subject we decided to play around with it a little bit. Stretching my vagina out a couple of fingers at a time then shortly there after using some larger toys. Well, the experience was very delightful and I really enjoyed the full and filling sensation. He was more excited that ever and would, on most occasions be capable of going at it for more that 2 hours at a time and having multiple orgasms.....as well as myself. My girlfriends, however, when we would all get together and talk I always felt really insecure about the choices and decisions I had made and would never really share with them even through their recounts of their sexual experiences and exploration. Fast forward over 10 years later and the more I read and the more I research the more I have realized that, though this may not be as common of a practice, or as accepted by others, but that I am not alone. We have done many many things in the bedroom. Purchased numerous very large sized toys and practice fisting regularly. Yes the capacity and shape and size has changed over the years. His size obviously has stayed the same. I still get just as much satisfaction with traditional sex. the foreplay is amazing and the thrill of his excitement really satisfying as well. In short, I love the feeling of being stretched and out relationship has done nothing but become stronger as a result. follow your heart and be happy with yourself. Love yourself and dont worry about what others think.

[Hugo-B]

I prefer a woman to be larger/looser (I'm not sure what the most polite and least crude terminology is) than tight, I think that puts me in the minority though. I think many women wrongly feel they need to be tight to satisfy a man and social stereotypes, just like many men feel they need to be big to satisfy a woman and fulfill social stereotypes.

My GF has had two children and she feels great when she's aroused, I like the feeling of being able to glide in and out of her effortlessly, I really don't understand where all of this 'if you can't pinch your pinky you're loose' BS came from.

I think it may have emerged from many men tending to prefer younger girls, and one feature of a stereotypical younger women was typically a tighter vagina i.e., a woman with a tighter vagina was believed to be less experienced (few to no partners) and youth (younger and not given birth) not to mention it makes the man's penis feel bigger. Most men like at least one of these things. I'm starting to think woman worry about their vaginal size almost as much as men worry about their penis size.

Women being led to believe a tight vagina is a positive attribute - quite possibly for the reasons above - would explain the current vogue for many of them worrying they are too loose and endeavoring to 'tighten' themselves up.

If a woman feels she would like to tighten herself up then that's her choice, but being looser is a positive for me, I don;t want to have sex with a vise.

'Its a secret' explained quite a lot to me about vaginal size in the thread I started called (I think) vaginal size and her input was very informative, definitely not things they teach you in school!

[Element]

My boyfriend is my first and only sex partner, the first half a dozen or so times we would have sex it would literally hurt when he would first penetrate me and again when he exited when we were finished. He always felt bad and had this look on his face of pure sorrow that he would cause me pain at those particular times. He hates to inflict pain on me and I always felt bad that even though I knew the pain was coming when he would fully exit me when we were done, I couldn't help but to cringe and flinch. But after time, I loosened up more and now I'm more "accommodated" to his size.

He's only told me that a man needs to feel some sort of friction to be able to enjoy sex. That there are some women who feel like a roomy tunnel where a man needs to lean to one side to rub up against the wall of her vagina to feel anything.

I do kegels just so I'm a little bit tight so there's friction for us both. But I have no desire to be as tight as I was and to feel that pain again.

[fancyfree]

I love how it feels to be stretched. My husband never complains of lack of pleasure on his end. I feel great and have no issues feeling him inside me even after we have posted with large toys or when I have been fisted. In fact it feels amazing on my end and he says he loves the way he bounces around inside me when I am on top. His organs are extremely intense as are mine. Maybe er are an odd couple. I would trade him got anyone though. The trust level achieved is one most would trade anything for. To me, and him for that matter, its not about tight or loose its about pleasure and total satisfaction for both of us.

[DSemcho]

My husband says I'm tight enough for him so that's all that matters, sometimes I feel to loose but then he makes me have an orgasm and I'm all happy again. My only problem with my vagina is that my mons is bigger than he likes so he won't go down on me because of it and he seems to think as I lose weight it will get smaller but I don't think it will.

[jns]

My only problem with my vagina is that my mons is bigger than he likes so he won't go down on me because of it and he seems to think as I lose weight it will get smaller but I don't think it will.

That is a first one for me, a guy complaining about a woman's mons pubis being too big. I'm sure you are fine and he has a hang up.

[suej]

...on most occasions be capable of going at it for more that 2 hours at a time and having multiple orgasms.....as well as myself.

Regarding being stretched and orgasms, are you able to orgasm from being "filled up" alone, or do you always require clitoral stimulation? And do you find being filled up increases your orgasm intensity, or is it more that being stretched makes the journey before orgasming somehow better?

And what is better in your view, a toy or your husband's fist?

I have been doing "stretching games" with my husband for some time now, but for whatever reason have never had him try to insert his hand, although I am certain he could!

And I agree 100% with you about the strong bond that stretching creates between a husband and wife. There is a lot of trust and vulnerability inherent in this niche, and to me that makes it all the more intimate and exciting!

[fancyfree]

Depending on the excitability level, for example an hour of foreplay without penetration, just light touching and teasing get me going and so ready that I can orgasm without clitoral stimulation at all and with just his penis. Now if we are playing with just the toys it usually requires some sort of simulation. When it comes to his hands though whether its one or both, just being full and the way he can move and wiggle his fingers around will definitely do it without clitoral simulation. As far as toys or fist. I prefer the fists. For lack of a better phrase, its more hand on if you will and very fulfilling and exciting. A lot if the time we will actually do this in the 69 position with me on top to where he can fit as much if him in there as he likes and I can still have something to play with also. Whats amazing is that we both enjoy and pleasure greatly from this, in fact our favorite thing is after I've been super stretched to the max we both love the way it feels for him to lay there while I crawl on top and really thrust around, shaking and wiggling to really bounce his penis around inside me. I have ofter had multiple orgasms doing that as well. It is amazing. Everyone that knows us says we were made for each other..............apparently they have no idea just how true that statement is.

[shoshannah]

I have always heard that tighter is better. although neither my boyfriend nor i have a real basis for comparison, we both consider me to be pretty tight--he can get in with no problem, but he says there's a lot of pressure even when I am not kegling/squeezing him. neither of us has any complaints, because I love the feeling of being filled up, which I definitely get. The only downside is that my being so tight does bring him to orgasm faster than I normally like. :-(

[fancyfree]

Having an orgasm quickly is not always directly related to being tight and having increased friction. Even to this day my husband can pull the whole minute man routine from time to time. in my opinion its more of a self control issue or some other outside circumstance, like being really tired, or a highly stressful day at work. Though I lean more towards the tiredness as it can affect the self control aspect of things. Of course my husband is really good about knowing the signs that lead him to quicker orgasms and he either slows down or simply satisfies me first with extensive foreplay or oral stimulation. Whatever the situation is it can be resolved or overcome.