[HJD]

Hi guys, hope you can help as i honestly dont know what to do anymore. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for 8 years, we both got together young (13&14) an have been close ever since. We used to have a great sex life.. Sometimes up to 3 times a day. We had a bit of an off patch about 2 years ago which we both sorted through but since then everything has changed. My boyfriend used to want sex atleast 4 times a week and it was always affectionate and non selfish.. But now it has gone to once a month if im lucky? I always have to make the first move but im forever pushed away it seems the only time he wants it is if he wakes up early and even then its just rolling me over on to my side and then thats it? No kisses or any foreplay of the sort! Please dont forget we are both only 21 and i know from confiding in friends that this isnt normal! He always wants me to give him head.. Which i dont mind doing but then im left feeling horrny and used? I have seeked advise before and beentold to try and put some excitement back in. But this hasnt worked hes always too tired or just changes the subject. Ive had enough i dont know what to do anymore, im often left crying in bed because of how he pushes me away or mAkes me feel so ugly! I dont understand how he changed so quickly? And why he is so selfish! Idont know how much longer i can take? Any advise will be much appreciated! Thanks x

[Element]

In sex, communication is key. You have to be blunt, tell him this. When he does this, you feel used, you feel like he doesn't want you. Tell him how this is affecting you and that you need things to change. If he's unwilling to satisfy you, think of you, be there for you, go out of his way for you; can you live like this for the rest of your life? Do you feel you want to say "I do" to this man?

Also, is he stepping out on you? I'm sorry, but unless he has libido issues, a man in his 20's has a high libido and pushing his wanting woman away just screams we have a problem here.

[haliyo]

Both of you would have changed quite a lot since you first got together - from the sounds of it you have been going out right through the crucial stages of someone's development as a person, so perhaps if he has changed I wouldn't be too surprised? People change a lot from 13/14 - 21, and from what I can gather in this case the change has not been for the better. Perhaps he has gotten so used to your being there for him that he is failing to appreciate you?
But as Element touched upon - I would be worried about how he is satisfying his sexual needs, and I also think that you need to just be blunt with him. You need to stand up for yourself because there is no way you should be letting him push you around like that. Approach him with confidence and make a stand, because if he is really causing you so much pain then something has to change <3

[CHANDLERS WISH]

We had a bit of an off patch about 2 years ago which we both sorted through but since then everything has changed.

.

Welcome to the Forum.

You know, congratulations for being together for such a long period of time. You've only known each other. But, something tells me, that something major happened those two years ago and it didn't get sorted at all.

Do you feel that you could elaborate on that more for us?

Because I think your answer lays in there.

[DreamP346]

Your boyfriend sounds like my husband. We really had to talk to figure out what was the issue. For him, it was that he was starting to experience some ED and avoiding sex was his way of dealing with it. The morning was the only time that he would have a good erection, so that is when he wanted to have sex. At other times, he was afraid he would loose his erection and feel embarrassed. Not saying that is your boyfriend's issue, but it just shows you how something completely unrelated to you may be happening.