[suffered4years]

Hello all,

I've been having trouble having orgasm with my bf for the last few years. That's quite a long time to not be having great sex, but it's been going on that long actually (!)

I'm with him with for about 6 years and love him but we no longer have "great sex" the way we did in the beginning.

i've become tired of the problem and have sort of given up and that's not healthy..

I have a feeling it's normal after a few years to feel this way and would love to hear how people have solved this problem in their lives.

(thanks...)

[seashoremaine]

Do you orgasm by yourself?

[suffered4years]

nope...actually, i don't really try...i'm not comfortable I guess. ugh, is that a part of it the issue?

[PixieDuzt]

It sounds as tho you guys just need to switch it up. Sounds like you are in a rut to me. That happens after years of being together.

Also, how can you expect someone else to satisfy you when you can't do it yourself? It is always healthy to explore your body and its responses on your own. That is the only way you will know what really works for you.

[seashoremaine]

The fact that you don't feel comfortable masturbating throws up some red flags (unless it for religious reasons and even then). You should definitely try exploring your own body. This will help you tremendously understand not only physically what is going on but emotionally also. Get relaxed, think of your wildest fantasies and enjoy yourself!

[suffered4years]

I'm touched by all of the posts (thank you)

It's a journey, to get comfortable with sexuality. I have managed not to take the journey for almost 29 years of my life. That was the first time ever having intercourse - late in life.

Really too, it's a responsibility, as people have said.

I'm afraid, to explore myself sexually. It feels embarassing, uncomfortable, a little dirty.

But it seems, as people have said, required to have a healthy fulfilling relationship...with yourself and of course with any partner.

And I DO want those things...

I feel much better sharing all this.

Well, I'm starting to take this journey. Theresa, thanks for the links to sexuality pod. I guess, we'll hear from me in the future.

Thank you all.