[TVlover]

DO you guys think its a good way for me to build up my confidence around women?

Have been to one once when younger, it was a disaster...

[lizzardb63]

Why would that build up your confidence??? You have the PAY them to say nice and fake things to you. I would think a better way to build up confidence is going out and getting a new hair cut, buying a new outfit, wearing a new perfume or cologne, etc. Why do you lack confidence in the first place?

[Randy_Savage]

Great idea. I went to a prostitute regularly for 5 years and it taught me alot. Only downside was STD's

[Hugo-B]

Have thought about what you could do to avoid it being a disaster if you do do it again?

[TVlover]

Let me explain...

I was 21, not quite a teen, not quite an adult, feeling a little lost in the big wide world tbh.

I had one proper girlfriend during school/growing up. The one time she ever touched my manhood was in the winter, and she quite openly said "oh, it isnt that big." We were about 16 at the time.

Truth be told this didnt concern me at the time, looking at it now, maybe it did and I just wasnt aware.

Through my late teens I felt a bit of an ugly duckling, like I was waiting to be a man, and just didnt feel I belonged in the world. So when my friends and I used to go out partying, I felt really self concious. This must have been easy for others to see, as every body was having a great time, meeting new people etc, and I would either sit with a drink, or stand, nodding my head along with the music feeling an idiot.

When my 20th birthday arrived, during th ebuild up, I was VERY excited. In my mind I had this vision that I would suddenly become a man, mature, doorways to new opportunities would open, th world would be at my feet.

Did that happen? **** no.

So I spent that whole year waiting, desperately hanging on to the belief that thinsg would magically change for me. As my 21st birthday approached, it began to dawn on me that not only would the positive changes not happen, I had wasted an entire year of my life waiting.I thought "screw it", I would make changes to my life after I turned 21, be proactive, go into the world and ensure I got what I wanted from life.

So I sat and made a list, I cant remember exactly, but it went something like this;

Work - Had an ok job whilst improving my prospects through relevant courses, but it wouldnt hurt to do more hours/over time when I could. More money = more opportunities.

Social life - I really wasnt into the partying scene, so had to look at other options. Joining clubs seemed an option, I narrowed it down to either learn a new language or join a sports team.

Myself - Virgin.

The list was longer but these three stand out, and you can guess which I was most eager to change.

So I had a quiet sniff about, and found that a place in town was a massage parlour. Just the thought alone seemed to breathe new life into my body. Twice I arrived in the location and walked past, too nervous about what lay inside that magnetically locked door and cctv.
Twice I went home thoroughly deflated, I couldnt even buy sex!???? I was doomed.

The third time, with the help of a couple of pints of beer, I made it into the waiting area. A woman in her 30s was sat at a counter drinking a can of lager. I felt absolutely vile, like a criminal, but she casually told me it was £10 to get in. I still didnt know what "in" was haha.

I paid, took 5 steps, and on the right hand side was what i can only describe as like a large living room area with 3 large couches.

Upon those couches were approx 12-15 females, all in their underwear.

Upon seeing me, they all stood, and started saying "me, me" encouraging me to choose them. I have no idea why given I was a nervous wreck, but I chose the gobbiest of them all, she had the look of the women you see in porn, that dirty "I love it anally" look.

She leads me upstairs, and I must say her figure is WOW, petite and in incredible shape. We enter a room, it was horrid, some manky old bed, it was like something out of a horror room.

I will spare the grusome details, but all I will say she didnt do much to earn her money.

The shame was made infinitely worse by the sounds next door of some young lady getting some pretty hard sex.

Which leaves me where I am now, no idea what to do to get me used to being around females

[Hugo-B]

I don;t have time to read this entire post thoroughly. I actually LOLed at the "I chose the gobbiest one... she had the "I love it anally".

You sounded like something out of the inbetweeners...

I will read this properly as soon as I get the chance. If you are serious, and prepared to prove it, then I will offer you some help. We mentored a guy up to losing his virginity on another site a while back.

[ItsASecret]

Honestly I would be very cautious of this. I mean I can understand the mental aspect of a virgin male wanting to have sex with a prostitute essentially just to get rid of the V-card but to develop confidence I don't know. Those women are paid to fake their expressions, they do their job and that is that. It will not be a real woman in a real situation with real reactions, the prostitute will smile when told, say thank you even if she does not mean it, play along with whatever word games you might want to do with complementing, wooing, flirting etc...it is all an act to get your money and any confidence you gain from that prostitute does not mean any random woman would react the same way do. What you really need is a woman who will take her time with you to help you learn new things but I understand that is a lot easier said than done to find said woman.

You must also think of the STD/STI consequences. If you get herpes you have it for life, if you get HIV you can be done for, syphilis is not going to be fun, if you get gonorrhea you will feel like you are peeing lava the list goes on and because of that prostitution lifestyle the prevalence of infections is quite high. There are real risks you must consider.

[jns]

TV, you may become comfortable being around women by going to prostitutes, but they may not be the women you really want to hang around. Further, you won't learn to act around women who are not prostitutes. Women who are prostitutes are not of a different species. They want to be with someone they feel comfortable with, but they want to be paid for it. If the guy is really not their type or has a reputation of being too rough, they may pass on him - or not. After all, they are in it for the money.

They may fake their expressions because they have probably heard it all before - many times. However, if a guy is clever, he may get a genuine response. They may want you to fall in love with them so they can convert you into a regular or someone who buys them gifts. They will seemingly be jealous if you go with another girl, but the real situation is that they are trying to protect their income.

A lot of prostitutes that aren't native to the area they are working have been trafficked. Because they have no where to go, they continue to be used in that way. Most times they are brought in from elsewhere and shuffled around so as to not be able to build any ties that could help them escape. Some of the things I said above may not apply to them.

Some keep a good share of their income, but many do not. It goes to all the people around them that leech off of their income.

Read what IAS wrote about STDs/STIs.

[Hopeless Dork]

I think it is a HORRIBLE idea for gaining confidence. Not for talking to chicks and not for pleasing one.

For the sex part, chicks are all different... no matter what you learn from one, you will ALWAYS have to relearn the woman you are with to know what she , herself likes and needs.

Also, You will never get an organic response from a prostitute due to the nature of the fact you are paying them to please you.

Again, for talking to them, same thing... you are paying them to be in your presense, you are not going to gain confidence to talk to a woman that is not being paid to listen by talking to one that is.

In my opinion, it could in fact do the very opposite to your confidence. Not to mention you are painting yourself into a corner of lying about yourself or possibly scaring a woman off if you were to mention this sort of activity.

Many women have a disdain for men that pay for sex, and for several reasons. Some its the fear of diseases he may have picked up, others may feel it paints the man as desperate and it turns them off, and for others just find it so ethically offensive given that so many prostitutes are only in the business because they are either being forced to, have a drug addiction that is forcing them to endure the acts or have self esteems that have been crushed through years of abuse. In any case many women feel that by utilizing a prostitute -- you are creating the demand that ruins the lives of so many women and girls. Or it can simply make them feel like you objectify women and order them up like pizza.

In any case... if your just looking for easy sex, and you are safe about it - that's really your business... no judgement there.

But if you are seeking to build on an esteem for 2-way relationship where you love and are loved back, patronizing a prostitute is not the way to train for that.

[Hugo-B]

Trying to build confidence around women by paying them to have sex with you is like trying to make friends by paying people to hang out with you, you'll get company and exposure to other people which is good, but the undertone of the entire interaction will not be genuine.

Getting a sales job or even a job where you have to talk to people by serving coffee will be a good start since you'll have no option but to interact with customers all day.