[Avatar Nirvana]

I was thinking about a Sex and the City episode where Samantha and Smith act out different scenarios before having sex. Why are people turned on by role playing? It sounds like the couple don't love each other anymore, so they pretend to be someone else. Has anyone else ever done it? Is it common?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

This is a great topic.

I imagine they need "fantasy", "excitement" and maybe feel the spice of life makes it more interesting than just intimacy.

Remember though that's a TV show to entice people to watch.

I think it's a mixture personally ..

The three words , sensual, sexual and horny... They all play a role and they all are real in how people (two people feel).

I think it's important to remember to be all three along the way in togetherness.

[Little]

I think it's just a fun game. There is an excitement to doing something new (or somebody new It's called the Coolidge effect!) It doesn't mean two people don't love each other anymore ... in fact, I'd say it points to them loving each other extra since they are seeking new ways to keep the flame bright with their current partner rather than taking the easy way out and looking for new things with new people.

Role play doesn't have to be about other people, either ... it can be about your partner taking on a new role. Is the woman in a given relationship usually submissive? Maybe she goes all domme on her man when he wants to shake it up.

[Avatar Nirvana]

That's where I find it confusing. What is so sexy about a naughty schoolgirl and her teacher? It sounds like pedophilia. And slave and master? Why would anyone want to be tortured by the person they love?

[celestexoo]

I can't speak from personal experience because I have never roleplayed with my boyfriend before, but we've discussed "scenarios" we might find exciting. I really just think of it as an "adult game" that can be exciting, fun, and pleasurable. I think roleplaying can be an option once the couple has become very comfortable with their sex life and just wants to try something new. Of course, I don't mean they have to roleplay ALL the time just to get aroused and have sex... if their normal sex life is THAT boring that they have to resort to roleplaying every time... there's probably some sort of emotional/chemistry issue between them.

I do think I view roleplaying as a positive aspect of sex. It allows the couple to open their minds and become more creative sexually - maybe even discover something about their partner that they never knew before. It's also totally okay if you just don't think that's something you'd ever be into, either. Never hurts to try though! I doubt it's for everyone, but it is common for couples to enjoy and play out scenarios

[ItsASecret]

I can understand why people enjoy the aspects of role playing if that is their type of thing but I personally want nothing to do with it. There are many people who love to act out parts or play a certain role like a ****ty schoolgirl or the naughty nurse or the tortured slave but me personally there is nothing more of a turn off than the thought of me acting like someone I am not. I am not a porn wannabe, I am not a naughty dirty talking girl, I am not a actress lol. I really do not have it in me to talk dirty, perform, or be the center of attention...to me acting and simply being the center of attention in that way is absolutely terrifying to me in any circumstance...I am just one of those people that does not like the acting/performing/being somebody else type stuff so I entirely avoid it.

[JonDoe]

That's where I find it confusing. What is so sexy about a naughty schoolgirl and her teacher? It sounds like pedophilia. And slave and master? Why would anyone want to be tortured by the person they love?

It is definitely not about the things you mentioned in this post. It's not at all about the man being with an underaged girl, which would be a huge turn-off and non-starter for almost all men, trust me!!

When a women submits to her man, it says I love you and trust you fully because I know you are doing this out of love to please both of us. It's about trying new things to keep the flame burning bright.

Nearly every man and women had a crush on a teacher or another classmate during high school and/or college, but few acted on it. Role playing later in life, when we are more mature is for some a way to feel youthful again and to act out a fantasy in the safety and presence of their loving partner. It may be about feeling a little bit naughty and non-conforming without actually breaking any rules or laws, or doing something that goes against one's morales. For some it is about control, being in control or giving full control to their loving partner. Having power or a lack thereof can be a huge turn-on when you know that you both made the choice together during the act of love making.

[DreamP346]

Its like wearing lingurie. Most of use aren't Victoria Secret models, but its fun to pretent we are or for our man to think his partner is so hot, she could be one. Or its like imaging you are the character in some romantic book or movie and trying to play out that very erotic moment. It has nothing to do with you partner not being enough.

[Lady Syrinx]

That's where I find it confusing. What is so sexy about a naughty schoolgirl and her teacher? It sounds like pedophilia. And slave and master? Why would anyone want to be tortured by the person they love?

Avatar,

Hubby and I have done the naughty schoolgirl. In our case I think it reminds him of when we started dating. I was the stereotypical Catholic school girl dating a public school guy. Also, I wasn't particularly adventurous. There is a lot of a Iot of stuff I do now, as an adult, that I wouldn't have considered when we were younger. We've also tried an interrogation scenario.

It doesn't mean we love eachother any less. It only means that after 19 years together sex became a bit boring and needed a spice factor. In fact, I
think it actually brought us closer. We recently went through a really bad period, detailed in other threads. It showed that I was willing to try something new for him.

[rcoreyus]

Roleplaying just adds variety to your sex life. There really are just a limited number of physical things a couple can do for each other, so it makes sense to try adding a mental / fantasy angle.

From there I think that pretty much anything that both enjoy is fine for fantasy. There are lots of scenarios that could be fun to act out that you would never do in real life. Prostitution, Rape ,Cheating - all are terrible in real life, but my add a spark of fun and are harmless as fantasy.