Hey Wilhelm-
WOW! This cursor has been blinking at me for a minute now. Any additional pain I might feel would still be at the door step of the one, my rapist, whom without his original act this would not even be an issue. To answer your question, he was very angry, it seemed to be directed at me, which I was baffled by. He got up and got dressed and left without a word. No, I did not confront him then as I was strangely very lathargic, I felt outside of myself, dazed, but I was still crying. I remember how my tears seemed to cut a path down my face and drip like hot rain drops on my chest. I knew I was bleeding because I could feel this wet warmth and a glance at the sheets confirmed it. I remember getting in the tub but not so much drawing the bath water. I remember a stinging sensation as I lowered myself in the water and then watching this these traces of red swirls in the water as I sat there. The swirls quickly became more red with just traces of water, then just red. It hurt to sit. I let the water out and I took a shower and I could not wash it/him off of me. I tried, I tried until the water ran cold. I stayed in the next day. I also confronted him via the telephone and to my knowledge he was sober at that time. I told him he had torn me BAD (in more ways than one)! His attitude was beligerent/angry. Then I head on stated his lack of remorse at which time he said, "I SAID I WAS SORRY!" in a nasty tone. But he had not said he was sorry until he offered up that less than sincere outburst. Some sporadic calls with atempts to act as if we were still copesetic and as if it never happened came for a few days, at first it was just awkward dead silence especially on my end, I quickly resorted to screening all my calls. One day I just answered the phone and told him my silence and avoidance of you should speak volumes take the cue, leave me alone, move on. To which he replied that he had already deleted me from his phone. I asked, "Then why are you calling me?" and hung up. I did not hear from him again until Wednesday last week. He showed up unannounced and uninvited. I was expecting it to be perhaps one of my girlfriends or my brother. My son still does not know what happened so he had no clue to give me a warning or turn him away. So I instructed my son send whoever it was to the master suite where I was just finishing putting away the laundry. I sat down on the side of my bed and when I looked up and saw him standing there at the foot of my bed. Words can not desribe it. The balls of this man. His sorry a*s said some ***/% - up ****** sh*t. I asked if that was all he had to say, he said yes. I called for my son and when he came I instructed my son to escort him to the door. He said, "Okay then" and left. I felt empowered and in control on many levels for the frist time in quite a while. Please forgive my language, but it is what it is, and it's what I felt and thought.
WOW! This cursor has been blinking at me for a minute now. Any additional pain I might feel would still be at the door step of the one, my rapist, whom without his original act this would not even be an issue. To answer your question, he was very angry, it seemed to be directed at me, which I was baffled by. He got up and got dressed and left without a word. No, I did not confront him then as I was strangely very lathargic, I felt outside of myself, dazed, but I was still crying. I remember how my tears seemed to cut a path down my face and drip like hot rain drops on my chest. I knew I was bleeding because I could feel this wet warmth and a glance at the sheets confirmed it. I remember getting in the tub but not so much drawing the bath water. I remember a stinging sensation as I lowered myself in the water and then watching this these traces of red swirls in the water as I sat there. The swirls quickly became more red with just traces of water, then just red. It hurt to sit. I let the water out and I took a shower and I could not wash it/him off of me. I tried, I tried until the water ran cold. I stayed in the next day. I also confronted him via the telephone and to my knowledge he was sober at that time. I told him he had torn me BAD (in more ways than one)! His attitude was beligerent/angry. Then I head on stated his lack of remorse at which time he said, "I SAID I WAS SORRY!" in a nasty tone. But he had not said he was sorry until he offered up that less than sincere outburst. Some sporadic calls with atempts to act as if we were still copesetic and as if it never happened came for a few days, at first it was just awkward dead silence especially on my end, I quickly resorted to screening all my calls. One day I just answered the phone and told him my silence and avoidance of you should speak volumes take the cue, leave me alone, move on. To which he replied that he had already deleted me from his phone. I asked, "Then why are you calling me?" and hung up. I did not hear from him again until Wednesday last week. He showed up unannounced and uninvited. I was expecting it to be perhaps one of my girlfriends or my brother. My son still does not know what happened so he had no clue to give me a warning or turn him away. So I instructed my son send whoever it was to the master suite where I was just finishing putting away the laundry. I sat down on the side of my bed and when I looked up and saw him standing there at the foot of my bed. Words can not desribe it. The balls of this man. His sorry a*s said some ***/% - up ****** sh*t. I asked if that was all he had to say, he said yes. I called for my son and when he came I instructed my son to escort him to the door. He said, "Okay then" and left. I felt empowered and in control on many levels for the frist time in quite a while. Please forgive my language, but it is what it is, and it's what I felt and thought.
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