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  • Ramya89
    Junior Member
    • Oct 2012
    • 4

    Female impotency

    Hi, I am a 22 year old female. I have a boyfriend who wants to have sex and I also want to have sex with him but for some reason we cant seem to. I am very tight down there and he keeps slipping. He is very considerate of me and keeps trying but after a while I can feel him lose his erection. He always says he loves me even though I was not able to have sex with him which makes me feel so guilty. I dont know why but we cant seem to do it. Is there anything I can do to widen my vagina opening? This is really affecting my life as I feel impotent and unable to perform which many would think is silly for a female to experience but I dont know what to do. Please help, and yes he tries slow, and yes we have tried lubrication but still no use.
  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    Have you been to a gynecologist to make sure everything is OK?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • Truckstar
      Member
      • Oct 2012
      • 33

      Originally posted by Ramya89
      Hi, I am a 22 year old female. I have a boyfriend who wants to have sex and I also want to have sex with him ..... I am very tight down there and he keeps slipping. ..... after a while I can feel him lose his erection. ..... I was not able to have sex with him which makes me feel so guilty. ...... Is there anything I can do to widen my vagina opening? This is really affecting my life as I feel impotent and unable to perform .....
      Whether you're having vaginal or anal sex, sometimes bodies don't fit as expected. Don't be afraid to lend a helping hand, yours or his . Using a shop bought lubricant can be helpful, too, especially if sex is happening right after a warm shower, bath or dip in the pool as warm water can dry out the vagina. However there are more specific medical lubes if you are still having trouble. If you're dealing with an ongoing vaginal pain issue, you must get checked out. Occasionally (very very occasionally) ladies need a small procedure to entirely open the vagina.

      You have said if this is your first sexual partner. Have you had sucessful penetrative sex before?
      You haven't said if you have successfully inserted an object or a toy before.

      If you are clear down there and this is not your fist time, is it his?

      Comment

      • DreamP346
        • Oct 2011
        • 2053

        Do you have problems with a tampon or inserting fingers? Do you feel pain when you are trying to have sex? How much foreplay time do you guys do? Have you tried right after having an orgasm? This information will help us give you better advice.
        Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

        Comment

        • Seekinhadvice
          Junior Member
          • Sep 2012
          • 2

          I have the same issue. We have been struggling for months because of my tightness.

          Couple tricks, don't go into bed with the pressure of having sex. Just enjoy eachother and when it feels right try it out. This way you will remain loose and he won't lose his erection quickly from the pressure.

          Second, you have to try different positions. For us what has gotten him inside without slipping the most is me on top reversed. That way he can see the hole and open it up to put his penis in. It is a slow process and we've been trying inch by inch.

          The truth is, once the pressure was off and we were just enjoying eachother we finally found a position that works. Otherwise, he was unable to penetrate at all.

          I also have a DR appointment to get more information on the tightness and other things I can do!

          Hope this helps!

          Comment

          • eolian
            Junior Member
            • Oct 2012
            • 2

            The problem may not be you! I am married to my 2nd wife of 13 years. When we first got together she was really tight and now shes just right. Does your BF get hard as in "rock hard like poke a hole in concrete hard?" if not he may be the one who needs to see a DR? I am 53 exercise 3x per week and can still pound it, just sayin if his wenis is a little soft there may be more going on here.

            Comment

            • lavi
              Member
              • Mar 2011
              • 22

              From your query,I suppose you are a virgin. You can ask your BF to first try with fingers-1 then maybe 2..then penis. Also, don't take stress,just relax while making out & have foreplay for some good time.

              Comment

              • Ramya89
                Junior Member
                • Oct 2012
                • 4

                I havent been to a gynecologist but I have seen my doctor and she said to try with lubrication and to see how it goes and if it doesnt work out, which it hasnt to come back and see her. I am not sure what will happen if I go see her

                Comment

                • Ramya89
                  Junior Member
                  • Oct 2012
                  • 4

                  also i am actually very scared and I have never even been able to stick a finger there or a tampon. I get really scared and freak out. Also he is my first and I have never had full sex before but I am sure I broke my hymen because there was blood stains on the sheet.

                  We have tons of foreplay, he even gives me oral before and then tries but it doesnt work, I get so scared. This is not his first time as he previously had sex with his ex, 2 years ago.

                  I get too scared if he says let me put my finger in, I am so sensitive down there and as a result never let him. We tried last night but I felt so bad because he kept trying and he would then become soft and feel upset but not show it.

                  Comment

                  • Magnetism
                    Veteran Member
                    • Jan 2009
                    • 1060

                    Based on what you said, it sounds like fear is preventing him from entering you. Your muscles need to relax before penetration. Maybe your body is tensing up.

                    Maybe you guys can just enjoy each other sexually in other ways without having to feel the pressure to have intercourse. There's nothing worse than two people in bed feeling like they HAVE to do what society defines as sex (penetration). When you try to force good sex, it doesn't happen.
                    "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

                    Comment

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