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Should you do things you don't enjoy in bed for your partner?

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  • Should you do things you don't enjoy in bed for your partner?

    Don't remember much discussion, and was curious how people felt: Different people like different things in bed. In a good relationship should you only do things you both enjoy? do things that one of you doesn't mind, or do things that one of you actively dislikes if the other enjoys? Here I'm assuming your partner is willing to do the same for you.
    8
    Only do things you both like
    12.50%
    1
    Do things you don't mind, but don't enjoy
    50.00%
    4
    Do things you dislike if they enjoy them
    37.50%
    3

  • I answered for a more reoccurring situation. I would do things I disliked once in a while a partner. Of course there possibly would be limits if things were too far out of what is now considered normal.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • Really depends what it is

      Massaging feet - yes
      A little anal rubbing - yes
      Being tied to the bed post for five hours and having your *** whipped with a bunch of nettles - no

      Point being it depends what it is and your level of repulsion or kinkiness, it doesn't hurt to experiment a little. If something turns you totally off or makes you feel sick then its a no from me.

      Comment


      • I'm torn. Say the thing one mate doesn't enjoy is sexual contact, whereas the other loves sex. Or say one partner doesn't like foreplay at all whereas the other needs it. I think an expectation that you will satisfy the other person on a basic level is reasonable. It also seems that two people that really care about one another would be willing to do something for their spouse if the spouse likes it, but it doesn't do much for them either way.

        But I agree with Truckstar on the extreme stuff. lol
        "Those sowing seed with tears
        Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Stillness View Post
          I'm torn. Say the thing one mate doesn't enjoy is sexual contact, whereas the other loves sex. Or say one partner doesn't like foreplay at all whereas the other needs it. I think an expectation that you will satisfy the other person on a basic level is reasonable. It also seems that two people that really care about one another would be willing to do something for their spouse if the spouse likes it, but it doesn't do much for them either way.

          But I agree with Truckstar on the extreme stuff. lol
          Yes stillness don't enjoy but can put up with for the benefit of the one you love is really cool. I can massage my lovers feet all night in front of the TV, however after sex or during sex, it really doesn't do it for me, but because she loves it - I concur. Mind you not every time, I wouldn't want to spoil her.

          Comment


          • I agree that "dislike" covers a lot of ground. Mostly I was thinking about the "you should never do anything you don't want" statement I've heard sometimes. I'd agree that you should't do anything you find really repulsive, or painful, not clear where to draw the line.

            Comment


            • I think you should be open to discussing it and considering it. If you go ahead with it or not is another question.
              Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

              Comment


              • I will do some things I do not necessarily enjoy like me being on top because my bf likes it so I want him to happy. Other things that I know I am absolutely repulsed by I will have a hard time even having a sit down conversation about because my personal feelings will be so apparent and will take over.
                There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

                Comment


                • I would say only do it if

                  1) it's not forced. you genuinely agree to it to please your partner

                  2) It's not causing you extreme discomfort, such as you having pain when defecating (anal sex)

                  I like to please, but not to the point where I'm being hurt or feel repulsed.
                  "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

                  Comment


                  • I would do a thing which is not forced & i am comfortable with..I would definately like to please my husband & he is also ever ready to try the things which I like & suggest. So, communication is the key.

                    Comment

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