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  • raindropsugarcane
    Member
    • Aug 2010
    • 29

    Has having sex changed you/your life?

    I feel as though my life will be different after I have sex. I am so used to being a virgin. Were you saddened when you lost your virginity? Not necessarily from it not being right in some way, but just because it was gone? Like a part of life was over. I wonder if I am just crazy. haha.
  • welsh-girl
    Member
    • Apr 2012
    • 20

    Having sex has had a impact on my self esteem. Its made me feel more comfortable about my body.

    I certainly didn't feel sad, if anything, i felt like a new part of my life had began

    Comment

    • shoshannah
      Veteran Member
      • Nov 2010
      • 228

      I'm not sure "saddened" is the right term for it. I was aware that I had entered a new phase of my life, and that one door had closed and another had opened, and that there was no going back. sort of like the "Toyland" song--'once you pass its borders, you can never return again." "Poignant," maybe, rather than "sad?" And for maybe a couple of weeks it was strange for me to think of myself as no longer a virgin.

      But I didn't spend a lot of time dwelling on it, for the exact reason that I had stepped through the new door. in those first couple of weeks my boyfriend and I were having sex at every opportunity, learning how to do it, becoming incredibly close, and generally just swept up at the intimacy of it all. I remember those first few weeks, whenever I would see him I would just melt. :-) So assuming you pick the right guy, you'll be too distracted to worry over things.

      I hope this helps.

      Comment

      • shoshannah
        Veteran Member
        • Nov 2010
        • 228

        I also forgot to mention that I have had the same experience as Welsh Girl. I have always been insecure about my looks and have never been able to believe anyone could like them, even when my boyfriend told me I was pretty. But once I began being sexual with him, and seeing/knowing I was attractive to him and having literally him lose control with me, I started to accept that I was sexy and attractive. I still have doubts, but they're much less now.

        Comment

        • balanced
          Member
          • Jul 2012
          • 12

          It did not change my life in the everyday sense. I still got up, ate, worked, saw friends. But I think the experience can change you in many ways, like others have said it can be wonderful for your sense of self, your self esteem, for the way you view yourself and others around you. Being right, well, I believe the person who you choose to lose it with makes a big impact. I lost mine to a boy that did not make it seem special, did not make me feel special, I felt it was just another ******** for him. It damaged my self esteem and made me self conscious and not feel desired or particularly beautiful. I ended that relationship soon after. My next partner changed all that, he made me feel special, beautiful, desired therefore I finally felt like a woman, grown up and sexual and stronger. That changed my life more than actually "popping the cherry" so to speak.
          I did not mourn the loss of my virginity, but did see a new chapter in life ahead. Life went on.

          Comment

          • jns
            Assistant Admin
            • Mar 2010
            • 8398

            From a guy: I lost my virginity when I was 25. Before I thought I was missing out on something, afterwards I knew I was. Afterwards I became more serious about relationships and more serious about getting a good paying job. I was not going to just get by again. Working hard for only a pittance no longer made sense. Yes, there were some setbacks, but they were learning experiences and a foundation to build on.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment

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