[sdmc6969]

So here is the thing I don't get. How is it that some people can go for weeks or months without wanting sex? I'm a man in my forties and I thinks about sex 5-6 times a day. My wife could go for ever. Sometimes I mark the calendar to see how long it is until she shows some interest in me sexually. It could go 5-6 weeks. When I mention it, she acts like she can't believe that it's been that long.
We have a friend who recently confided to my wife that her husband is addicted to pornography, I do understand that is a problem, but in the absence of sex what else is there? Besides an affair of course. I hear women complain all the time about their man only wants sex,sex,sex. Then they complain because he had an affair or looks at porn. What gives?
I am a fit, and am told that I am a very good looking man(I am told this by women I work with all the time) but I love my wife and not looking for an affair. My wife says she loves me and tells me I am hot but she doesn't initiate sex for the most part. Sometimes I feel like a pay check who is nice to be seen with?

[jns]

As your wife backs off of wanting sex enough to initiate, you may have to initiate more often to have enough sex so you are OK with the frequency. At that age, I found that my wife was happy with sex just before her period started. My nose told me she was at that stage from the scent of skin. Her skin was also softer at that time. She thought I was psychic since her period often started the next day and if not then, in two days. Try to see if there are certain times of her cycle that your advances are accepted.

There are men who do little to fulfill their SO's sexual desires so sometimes the roles are reversed.

[DreamP346]

Not initiating does not mean she isn't thinking or wanting sex. Socially, many women are not comfortable initiating. They may do it while dating, but its not something that comes easily. So once married, they may be comfortable with letting the man initiate and not having to think about it.

Another aspect is that there is a theory (and its just a theory so it doesn't apply to everybody) that women are not sexually aroused like men. They are willing to engage in sex knowing that were are certain rewards (closeness, loving bond with partner). Once the sexual process begins, then they get physcially aroused. Because of that, a woman may not initiate sex, but is receptive to sex. Just a theory.

[JonDoe]

I suffered for many years in a marriage having much less sex than I wanted and needed. Like you, I marked the calendar because my wife was in disbelief when I mentioned how infrequently we had sex. It can get better, but your wife truly needs to understand your plight and you need to better understand what makes her tick. It takes work and both spouses must genuinely want to make positive progress, but the results can be well worth it.

Considering reading the book titled "Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half" by Rick Johnson and then asking your wife to read it too. A sexless marriage is defined as a marriage that has sex 10 or less times per year were both spouse's are capable of having more frequent sex. If your marriage could be considered a sexless marriage by this definition, then also consider reading the book titled "The Sex-Starved Marriage" by Michele Weiner-Davis.

You may also want to read posts for the following thread I started: https://www.womens-health.com/boards...ays-sex-3.html

Good luck!!!