[shoshannah]

Only you know your feelings, and only you know your boyfriend. I assume that he knows you have had sexual partners before, right? Then it's only a question of what, specifically, you did with them that you're keeping private, and not the fact that you did things with them.

I don't think you _have_ to tell him that you have done facials before. The pros are that it's honest, that it's full disclosure, that he knows where you are coming from, and that he knows that whatever your decision, it is based on experience, and with luck he therefore respects your decision and quits asking. The cons are that if he knows you have done it with other men and won't do it with him he gets envious and resentful.

If you deliberately don't tell him, and he asks flat-out some day if you ever have done facials, then at that point you will be faced with a choice between 1) lying, 2) telling the truth and risking a "Why didn't you tell me this when I asked you to do facials?", and 3) telling him that you're not comfortable answering, which raises a possible barrier to openness and confidence. Of course, he may never ask you about your past experience. Or he might. if he does, it might be next week, next month, or next year.

Since we don't know your boyfriend, we don't know how he will react if you tell him, and we don't know whether his reaction will be different if you are open with him now versus whether (and if) he finds out later. We also don't know how important facials are to him--whether it's a passing fancy or something he will obsess about. And for that matter, we don't really know your feelings. From what you've written they tend negative, but they aren't unequivocal. Only you know for sure how strongly you feel and whether you want to put your foot down on this. All we can do is sort of game out what some of the possibilities are, which is what I've tried to do here. I hope it's helped some. :-) Good luck!

[KateyY]

Hey!

I'm sorry for not writing back before.

Thank you again for the advice, and I did decide to be honest with him. Tell him that I've had it done before and how I feel about it. He was very understanding, even more than I could have hoped for, but, or maybe because of that, I have asked him if he would like to try it with me. I can't say that I would enjoy it much more than I did before, but him offering to have me choose if and when I'm up for it made it a lot easier for me, so I guess it's all turned out nicely.

[Harmony]

It is important to establish firm boundaries, and any man who wont respect them isn't worth it.

On the other hand, many men, when in bed with their woman get pretty turned on and want to try things, often going as far as the woman will allow them. Anal is a common example, men can also be very juvenile and can fins it a huge turn on to be the first man a woman has 'done something' with. It is also an ego thing since they like to think that the woman did it because she couldn't resist him, or because he turned or on so much or whatever.

In actual fact, it takes a lot of mutual trust and respect to actually be able to dominate each other or do things like tying each other up etc, if that is present, then any act involving domination is unlikely to be mutually satisfying, and therefore shouldn't be done.

If you've ever watched porn you'll notice that for the cum-shot the woman is nearly always kneeling or laying down with the man standing over her while she subserviently bats her eyes with her tongue hanging out, pushing her boobs together waiting for him to cum over her. Most men like this, while the only pleasure in it for most women is that they get the satisfaction of knowing they've pleased their man.

If you feel comfortable putting on a show for your BF and giving him the ego boost of feeling like a porn star then by all means do it for him. If you really don;t feel comfortable, and you genuinely feel there is an absence of underlying respect from him to you, and that's why he wants to do it, then you shouldn't.

We all do things we don;t feel like doing or maybe aren't 100% comfortable with doing from time to time to please other people, the important thing to remember is to make sure they are worth doing it for.

If you've

[DreamP346]

I just read this article about facials and thought the following information was interesting. Its not always about power:

"Not that you really want to think about this, but the fact is that your boyfriend has had hundreds, if not thousands, of orgasms prior to dating you. And before you accuse him of being a ****, 99.9% of those orgasms involved a lingerie ad from Macy’s and a box of Kleenex.

Having an orgasm is a powerful reinforcer and every time he felt pleasure from his climax, he saw his semen drip, ooze or shoot from his penis. The two became quickly associated with one another. Seeing semen meant feeling pleasure.

So why my face?, you may be asking. Why can’t he come on my shoulder blades?

Again, it’s about visual association and pleasure. He likely finds your face more attractive than your shoulder blades and wants to see the two together. It’s the same reason why other requests include ejaculating on your breasts, vulva and anus. Very few men will ask to blow their load into your armpit."

[KateyY]

Hey!

I have no problem understading the appeal for a man to ejaculate on the face and I know it doesn't have to be about power, I just know that for my last boyfriend it was in a way, so that is why my hesitation to do it again.

My partner has a very healthy attitude about it, so it feels a lot different for me now and I don't have an issue doing it for him.