I saw this post and registered just for it and now other things but back to the point.
I think You really do need to tell him about the anguish it's causing You to be without sex. The real problem here is his porn use and masturbation. If he has enough sexual energy to fricken masturbate but NOT make love to his wife, that's just..well...bad news and wrong.
There is something else You may think about doing, it may come off as a bit forward and extreme, but it can work.
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Have you ever been into or tried BDSM / Domination/Submission? It's not only something to spice up a love life / marriage, but also a lifestyle. Anyway, if nothing else has worked and You still want to be with Your husband, try this too. The FemDom blog gives a good outline and what to try and there a lot of very helpful links across the web about it. In the words of my Domina "kick his ******!".
-Demo
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