[unoswag]

I am in this beyond-friend-not-yet-a-couple stage with a male friend, and he loves me blowing him (and swallowing too). It is my first time swallowing but I don't resent it. However, he claims that he is not into kissing, no foreplay, and every time when we meet, he would be so tired after his work and he hope for nothing but a good BJ. Sometimes he would finger me too.

The other day, after blowing and swallowing, I got excited and wet but he immediately fall asleep due to tiredness, left me upset and miserable. Tried talking to him but it didn't end well.

I admit I have a strong sex drive, I love everything from cuddling, kissing, caressing, oral, fingering and penetration. I thought guys would 'appreciate' a woman like this, apparently, I am wrong

What should I do?

[Euphoric]

I think it's time to step back and re-evaluate the type of relationship you have versus what you are looking for. Everything in your post sounds one-sided.

Okay, so he is tired, but not too tired for a BJ. No kissing, no foreplay, and only sometimes fingers you???

You tried communicating with him, but that didn't end well. Why? Was he mad that you expressed a need for him to return the favor, put forth a little effort to give you some pleasure.

He doesn't mind you providing him pleasure, but beyong that, he is not interested. I'm not sure what you are looking for. I'm an equal opportunist. If he's getting his, then I want mine. I'm not gonna provide over and over and be left sexually frustrated because 'he's tired'. Maybe you need to suggest him providing for you first, then doing him.

[jns]

Guys usually don't change. If everything stays the same, can you see this as a long term relationship? The longer you go forward with a relationship, the more you will be invested in it, even if you are unhappy. I would suggest finding someone who will give you what you want or at least compromise.

[rcoreyus]

Doing sexual favors for your partner is fine, as long as they do the same for you. I doesn't need to be at the same time, but on average they should do as much for you as you do for them.

[Guest]

IMO - This is not a relationship. This is you doing sexual favors for someone that you would like to be in a relationship with, in the hopes that if you are willing to do what he wants you to that he will come around.

He won't...so don't...continue to do what you are doing unless you are happy with the current result.

Where is your 'reward' for your effort? There isn't any.

You are being used, plain and simple - IMO.

[unoswag]

Thanks for the reply. Maybe my way of saying the problem sounds biased. Sometimes at the end of the day when he was too tired after work, he would suggest to call our date night off because he wouldn't be able to 'give', but I wanted him to come over so I compromised (and basically making myself sexually frustrated)

It's probably because I've been single for quite some time now and being a little too desperate - both relationship and sex, and he is the by far nearest 'target' I can get hold of...

[rcoreyus]

I guess the question is whether it is as one sided as it sounds. Does he often do sexual favors for you the way you do for him? If not, and if your main interest is in a sexual relationship, then it sounds like you could do a whole lot better.

[tech101]

I am a guy and used to be in this sort of friendship with a girl. I didn't want to kiss or foreplay because I did not want to be her boyfriend. After a while it became routine where I was getting blowjobs all the time but never really returned the favor. I think its a situation where your with a guy who doesn't care enough about you for your feelings or sexual needs, all the while he is lucky as hell to have a girl like you blowing him and swallowing.

My thoughts are that he doesn't like you enough to be serious with you,kiss you, or foreplay then he isn't worth your time. Have more respect for yourself and kick him to the curb. Everyone under the sun was telling the girl I was talking to the same thing. I kept telling her "no, no, no I do love you and care about you I just don't want a girlfriend and kissing will lead to feelings." I got my **** sucked everyday but I feel bad about it now and have since made up for it with this wonderful girl.

My advice is find a guy who will want to kiss you and be close to you....not just use you for blowjobs.

[unoswag]

Thanks so much for the advice/opinion/replies, I appreciate that.

We talked on my sexually frustrated part and come to an understanding that both sides should be equally (sexually) satisfied and not to take another side for granted. Yesterday was his birthday, and we made the best sex ever, despite him having an upset tummy. Had a lot of caressing, cuddling, kissing (although I didn't tell him about it). Slept through the night cuddling, and I gave him a BJ before he left for work. That smile on his face when he left - priceless

Things are easing now as I tend to not putting genuine 'lovey dovey' feeling into this, so we'll enjoy it while we can

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Off course a man is going to love sitting back and getting it all...

Please don't ever let a man say he's too tired to reciprocate, that's a cop out.

I think that your mind set is correct. Take the lovey dovey out of it and he's loving it.

If he does not continue to give back, question why..

He realised what he was going to loose ..

You know there is more to this.

Can you imagine a guy you get to know and him you, nothing to do with sex, just laughter, talking OMG... And eventually you see each other sexually. It does happen in fact IT DOES HAPPEN.

I think that is what you want more than anything, not having some guy love your blow jobs but you.