[ag916]

Hi! I'm 20 years old and have a few questions...

1. I have an issue getting wet/aroused during foreplay. I was on birth control for about 5 years or so and just got off of it about 1 year ago. I noticed that about 2-3ish years after being on the pill it was harder for me to get wet by myself or with anyone else. I've noticed that it has become worse since I have been off of the pill and it's very frustrating for my husband because he thinks that he doesn't turn me on...which he does but I don't know how to fix this!!!! We are tired of using lube because it doesn't feel as good as the natural thing. Did this happen because of the pill? Is there anything I could do to help get my 'wetness' back?My husband gives me oral to try and get me wet...which brings me to my next question....

2. Oral sex kind of works to get me wet but sometimes I go completely dry halfway through sex and we end up having to use lube anyways I also can't seem to get off from oral. I don't know what's wrong...it feels almost like my clit is overly sensitive which doesn't ever make me orgasm. I don't know what to do! Are there any oral techniques that my husband could try to help me orgasm?

Any advice is appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest]

1. Have a thorough and complete physical exam by your Primary Care Physician or if you have one, your OB/Gyn. It's important that you are completely honest with them and answer their questions, all of their questions truthfully.

Take a sheet of questions with you that you have for your physician and do not allow them to leave or be finished with your appointment until they have answered all of your questions and you understand their answers.

On the bottom of the sheet of questions make a few notes that you believe may have contributed to your current 'dryness' challenges. Use these as a 'back up'...Don't offer them first because it may throw your physician off in their line of questioning. So...

A)Present your problem/concern about your dryness
B)Answer ALL of your physician's questions accurately, openly and honestly.
C)Get any questions you have answered completely at a level you understand.
D)Mention the 'notes' you wrote down if they haven't been discussed or brought up yet.

2. Oral sex can be extremely satisfying for both parties if done correctly...

I have recommended a book in here so many times, I should get a commission on every sale (I don't).
The book is She Comes First by Dr. Ian Kerner Ph.D It has a Papaya and a Banana on the cover and may be available at your local library or on one of the dot com book selling web sites.

I love to give my partner oral and had no problem getting her very wet with my techniques. This book helped me, a person who loves to give oral, improve my techniques quite a bit.

One question...

How long does foreplay last and what methods techniques is he/are you using to prepare your bodies for penetration?

[kira]

It can take more than a year for things to straighten out after stopping birth control from taking it for a long time. I've done it twice since I started bcp in highschool and it's taken more than a year to get regular periods and reactions again.

Not everyone can orgasm from all forms of foreplay or sex. Sometimes it just doesn't work no matter what you do. Quite common. Oral really doesn't do much for me even when done well. It actually turns my husband on more to do oral to me otherwise I could live without it.

[ag916]

1. Have a thorough and complete physical exam by your Primary Care Physician or if you have one, your OB/Gyn. It's important that you are completely honest with them and answer their questions, all of their questions truthfully.

Take a sheet of questions with you that you have for your physician and do not allow them to leave or be finished with your appointment until they have answered all of your questions and you understand their answers.

On the bottom of the sheet of questions make a few notes that you believe may have contributed to your current 'dryness' challenges. Use these as a 'back up'...Don't offer them first because it may throw your physician off in their line of questioning. So...

A)Present your problem/concern about your dryness
B)Answer ALL of your physician's questions accurately, openly and honestly.
C)Get any questions you have answered completely at a level you understand.
D)Mention the 'notes' you wrote down if they haven't been discussed or brought up yet.

2. Oral sex can be extremely satisfying for both parties if done correctly...

I have recommended a book in here so many times, I should get a commission on every sale (I don't).
The book is She Comes First by Dr. Ian Kerner Ph.D It has a Papaya and a Banana on the cover and may be available at your local library or on one of the dot com book selling web sites.

I love to give my partner oral and had no problem getting her very wet with my techniques. This book helped me, a person who loves to give oral, improve my techniques quite a bit.

One question...

How long does foreplay last and what methods techniques is he/are you using to prepare your bodies for penetration?

I have gone to the gyno and mentioned this issue before and she basically said everything is fine down there, I just need to spend more time on the foreplay.

When he does foreplay on me it usually only lasts 5 minutes or so. He basically just sucks/licks my boobs and then gives me oral for a minute or so to get me wet and then we have sex. Like I said I never get off from oral and it's pretty frustrating. It isn't really 'enticing' me to have sex either, it just gets us to the sex part and that's pretty much it.

I will definately tell him about that book, maybe it will help him a little bit

[ag916]

It can take more than a year for things to straighten out after stopping birth control from taking it for a long time. I've done it twice since I started bcp in highschool and it's taken more than a year to get regular periods and reactions again.

Not everyone can orgasm from all forms of foreplay or sex. Sometimes it just doesn't work no matter what you do. Quite common. Oral really doesn't do much for me even when done well. It actually turns my husband on more to do oral to me otherwise I could live without it.

Yeah, I've heard that it takes awhile for things to straighten out...but I didn't think that my bc was the reason behind me not getting wet anymore.

I think the issue for me also is I feel like my husband doesn't actually like to give me oral...he just does it because he knows I like and he doesn't really spend time trying to find out what works for me and what will get me to orgasm. It's not that I don't enjoy it, it's just hard to enjoy when I feel like it's done quickly as a way to just get me kind of wet and move on to his pleasure.

[jns]

Getting oral for only a minute or so will not bring most women to orgasm. If your husband enjoyed giving you oral for a longer time, there is a greater likelihood of you orgasming and getting naturally wet from that. That being said, some men really enjoy giving oral and others do not. I love giving oral myself. Ask your husband to commit to giving you longer sessions. Guide him on what feels good and encourage him to keep going. Maybe have some sessions that are just about you. Something that could work, have him use a wet lip to keep stimulation of your clitoris going while he explores your vagina with his tongue. Then occasionally give attention back to your clitoris. In other words, mix it up.

[MoeJr]

Wow ... First of all, for most women 10 or 15 minutes would not be long enough for oral sex. I would look to a slight dehydration, then go to the act in general. If your 20 I'm going to assume your husband isn't much older, in that case probably lacking in some oral technique. Just relax, both of you explore, spend much time touching , feeling, kissing each other. when he is down there, try to get him to enjoy it, take his time. Guide his tongue and mouth with your fingers to the spots that turns you on the most, it like anything else is a learning experience. I'm going to guess you will find things to improve

[kira]

If he doesn't like oral you really shouldn't make him do it all the time. There are plenty of other ways to get aroused. I find back massages really work for me and he can spend more time touching, kissing, and licking more areas. The body is not just made of breasts and sex organs.

[Guest]

Foreplay, outside of having a "quickie" for my SO and myself can last from 20 minutes to several hours....anybody remember that first flirty kiss in the morning on your way out the door to work?

As for oral, I can spend a lot of time stimulating parts all over her body such as ear lobes, neck, breasts, stomach, small of her back, butt, behind her knees, inside of her thighs, etc. as the female body is loaded with erogenous areas that love to be stimulated.

If he is serious about improving his ability and desire to bring you pleasure, while at the same time bringing himself more pleasure, the book will help you both...a lot.

The same author wrote a follow up book, He Comes Second, that I hear is quite good also. I have never read it because quite honestly, my focus is on my partner.