[Husband333]

Prior to the wedding a few months ago my wife and I were having sex about once every other week. She said it was because she was stressed about the wedding. (We only had sex once on our honeymoon in ITALY) It has been months post wedding and we are now at once every three weeks. My sex drive is through the roof and hers is below normal. Do ladies (she is 28) go through this post wedding?

[Element]

I suggest her getting checked out by a doctor. Her sex drive has only dwindled with marriage, so something is going on. If it isn't medical, you two need to talk about if she's having problems being pleasured in the bedroom.

[Ashlee T.]

Is your wife on the birth control pill or some other hormonal birth control method?

If so: Hormonal BC is well known to wipe out the female libido. It did mine. A lot of women go on BC thinking it will make their sex life better...because it will take away the worry of pregnancy for both them and their partner. However, for many women, it not only takes away the desire for sex at all, it also decreases their natural lubrication which makes sex, when they do have it, unpleasant and unenjoyable. They then find themselves having sex out of obligation, faking orgasms out of obligation, and feeling old, unsatisfied, dried up, unattractive, unsexual. I've been there...and I can remember making every excuse in the book. In my case, it was purely a result of hormonal bc.... I could not control it...it was not mind over matter. My body, NOR my mind wanted sex and I got borderline depressed because I couldn't change the way I felt. Until I went off the pill.

If she's NOT on birth control then I'd suggest other issues are at play. Perhaps she just doesn't have a high sex drive? What are you two doing to keep the romance and spark alive in your relationship (non sexual things)?

[kira]

The better you make sex the more the other person wants it. Low libido or not.

[Ashlee T.]

The better you make sex the more the other person wants it. Low libido or not.

I can't agree with this, simply because I have experienced low libido and it wouldn't have mattered what he did before, during or after sex...I still didn't want sex.

There are also situations in which maybe a woman has a healthy sex drive, but doesn't feel loved, appreciated or respected in her relationship and therefore loses her sexual attraction for the man. He could be the master of all things sexual in the bedroom, but if he doesn't treat her like she wants to be treated outside the bedroom, she will often eventually lose her desire.

[LanaBear]

The sex that you do have... How is it? Is she able to orgasm, does she actively participate, does she enjoy herself when having sex? Even prior to the wedding, once every other week is relatively low and it has gotten worse from even that. Is she sexually open? Can she talk to you freely about sex? Is she comfortable with the subject?

[jns]

The better you make sex the more the other person wants it. Low libido or not.

I also agree with BD on this. If the hormonal balance is off a lot, there is no libido or desire. No matter how skilled the other person is, it won't make the person with such a low libido want sex more. It can help where the hormonal balance is relatively correct as now the mental and physical stimulation causes a more favorable chemical balance.

[kira]

It still makes a difference. I've been on bcp that wiped out my libido and I had multiple bfs through that time. It made a huge difference whether they worked to make me enjoy myself or just satisfied themselves. If something feels good you don't need a sex drive to want to do it again. Even now that my libido is unaffected by anything sometimes I just want everything that leads up to sex for the enjoyment of it even if I don't want actual sex. The touching and the attention can be worth it if done well.

[lizzardb63]

Does she suffer from depression? I do and I know when I'm having a "low" time, it's really hard for me to feel good about myself or even be interested in sex. My husband has a high sex drive too, and our sex fluctuates from 3 times a week to maybe 1 time a week...which he would prefer every day or every other, but I'm just not at the sexual level as him. There does have to be compromise though and sex is an important part of a relationship. There has to be more to it.

[MoeJr]

It still makes a difference. I've been on bcp that wiped out my libido and I had multiple bfs through that time. It made a huge difference whether they worked to make me enjoy myself or just satisfied themselves. If something feels good you don't need a sex drive to want to do it again. Even now that my libido is unaffected by anything sometimes I just want everything that leads up to sex for the enjoyment of it even if I don't want actual sex. The touching and the attention can be worth it if done well.

How does something feel good if your not interested in doing it? You can have the best lover in the world touching you, if you would rather be watching tv what good does it do? Maybe your circumstance wasn't even a libido issue hmmm. An open mind to all possibilities can be a wonderful thing. I'd go with Beautiful's answer !