[mistril]

In my last relationship, I was almost ALWAYS on top. I'd say 92% of the time. It took some getting used to, but eventually I got into a groove. I liked that I could have control, and that I was "in charge" of good sex.

However, that relationship ended, and in the last few months I've started another. My current partner loves to be on top -- which is great, it's kind of a relief, and I like it too -- but **** I feel so lazy!!!

He has said that he likes to be clutched and grabbed, scratched a little, just manual encouragement that I'm enjoying him. And ... yes, I'm really enjoying it! I do those things, and I see a response from him. But it's just so passive. It isn't that I don't like being on the bottom, but, you know, I feel like such a lump.

Can anyone give me some creative, insightful ways to be more participatory while on bottom? We change it up now and then, he does a side position, and some others, but in general, I feel like I'm just "receiving", and not giving a whole lot. I want to be more of a giver type of lover. Not just a receiver. And this new role is perplexing me.

As an aside: if I had to categorize myself as more dom or sub, it would definitely be sub. that is part off the reason this is so wierd; my last relationship I did feel a bit out of my element, but I learned to be comfortable. And now that I'm in a more submissive role, I don't know what to do with myself.

[shoshannah]

When my boyfriend is on top I do several things in order to take an active part. I twine my legs around his, or I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him to me with my heels, which gives me leverage to rub myself against him down there. I squeeze my vaginal muscles, which he loves. And I always try to keep my hands busy, touching him where I know he likes or running my nails down his back. I also talk dirty to him sometimes (although my"dirty" is pretty tame, he still enjoys it when I whisper these things in his ear, especially since I'm a pretty shy girl outside the bedroom.)

HTH.

[kira]

Unless he gets me in a position my hips are too pinned I put in as much effort moving as my husband does. I roll my hips up in to each stroke so it rubs across the top of my vagina. A trick I learned masturbating to toys stuck down by their base. By the end my legs and abs are usually burning.

[Sunlight72]

Hands Lips & Tongue

Reach what you can, and see how he responds. If he smiles or groans or if he kisses you all the sudden, then more of that!

Also, I love it when my woman opens her feet out sideways like a gymnast, or reaches toward the ceiling with her feet, or rubs my chest with her toes when we're in missionary position, or pulls my penis back inside her like she's trying not to let me leave on the back-stroke, or grabs my butt or back and pulls me into her a few thrusts in a row.

Feel free to touch or hold his penis and/or balls while he's pushing in & out. Feel free to touch yourself too! Your chest, your nipples, your ***, your own sex and erogenous parts! The more into it you are, the better it is (I expect) for your man! Have a good time, and show him you're having a good time

Tell him you're having a good time. Say it's fun, exciting, delicious, tell him he's sexy, tell him to kiss you. Getting any ideas yet?

Have Fun!