[Jenn_n_Juice]

Okay girls!! (and guys...since I have seen a few men post on here...lol) I've been wanting some advice with this for a while...so here it goes. I'm a 21 year old college student. I have been sexually active for some time. I've been with my share of men, not that I'm extremely promiscuous, but I happen to enjoy the act of sex. I say "the act of sex" because I've never reached an orgasm during any sexual act. EVER! Well, there's been a couple times, and I literally mean 1-2 times, where I have reached a slight orgasm...but nothing like I can give myself. I have a problem with letting myself just let go for that single moment so I can enjoy myself.

I know it's fairly normal...however, I'm looking for some advice as for what I can do to finally reach that level of comfort so I can enjoy sex the way it's supposed to be enjoyed. It was never because I wasn't comfortable with my partner...They were all very good at what they were doing, and I had no complaints. I just feel like there's something wrong with me because I have no issue bringing myself to an orgasm. Why can't I enjoy that with someone else!?

[Orange Cat]

One observation would be that you're probably having sex with younger guys, and as a formerly young guy, I can remember that I wasn't always the most giving lover. Not because I didn't want to be, it just took me some time to be better able to slow down and think beyond my own gratification enough to really focus on making the experience wonderful for the girl I was with. I learned to wait for the signals that she was really starting to get into it before I moved beyond foreplay. I learned to go down on her, with a very slow, exploring pace at first, and then start the gradual build up of intensity, until she well past the point of no return. Only then did I go for my final move. And one of the best things I discovered is to never, ever orgasm before she did. Teach your guy these things, most guys love it when the girl is a little bold like that.

Secondly, it took me some time to realize that context was very important to most girls. In other words, trying to get it done in a dorm room or frat before your roommate gets back, and with all kinds of noise outside the bedroom is not conducive to making a lot of girls have an orgasm. Place and time can be very important.

Another possible issue is with your vibrator or dildo. If you're using these methods to orgasm on your own, you could very well have desensitized yourself to the much gentler feel of a tongue, or penis. Try to stop masturbating yourself, or the use of the toys, then see if you can fare better with your guy.

Also, get your guy to slow down. Find a place where the two of you can be alone for a couple of hours without noise distractions, or the fear of roommates barging in. Help your guy to settle down and slow down. Take a long, sensual bath or shower together. Kiss and touch and caress for a while, and use plenty of foreplay before you get down to business. Try these things and see if don't have some more success.

[Jenn_n_Juice]

Well...Not all of them were younger. Mostly all the guys I've been with have been older than me. I completely understand you about how men are when it comes to them taking their time (its not just younger men either...some guys just wanna get it in, when they can fit it in LMAO!!) I live in an apartment, so scenery really has never been an issue for me. I have had some hot steamy foreplay, but when it comes to the sex...whether it be vaginal or oral, I just can't bring myself to cum!

I'm not really into masturbating that often either. I mean, yeah...if I find myself alone and bored I'll decide to rub one out...and I don't use toys either. I've tried but even with them, I can only give myself a clitoral orgasm, not a vaginal one. I just think my vag is broke lmao. I know it's not, but I seem to think that.

I just recent started seeing someone who is very gentile and, we've fooled around, and he's actually made me cum...he's different than any guy I've ever been with...maybe that's a good sign. We'll see though. I appreciate your input though. ESPECIALLY since you're a man. It's always great hearing things from a mans standpoint.

[DreamP346]

Have you tried masturbating yourself while your partner was inside of you? You know how to bring yourself to orgasm, so try doing it during intercourse.

[jns]

My suggestion is for the guy to build sexual intensity in you, then slow it down, then build it again and repeat. This is usually done during foreplay with either hands or oral. The foreplay should be focused on your clitoris. Over time you will have enough sexual tension to abandon restraint and be able to go over the top. Have you had a guy get you to orgasm during foreplay? First is for him to get you to orgasm one time. Then multiple times. Then sex after multiple times with you masturbating yourself. Somewhere in there you should get better at letting go.

Good luck.

[NubbinsUp]

You have to coach and guide him to deliver you to orgasm. Only you know what you most like to hear, feel, and do. You have to be self-aware enough to tell him what you like, and during physical intimacy what you want him to do more and differently. It isn't your responsibilty alone. It isn't his responsibilty to take you there. It is your responsibility to talk him through it, and to tell him what you want and need.

[michelled]

I my situation, I was really only able to enjoy intercourse with a partner after I developed my own sexual pleasures by masturbating. Once I achieved a very satisfying orgasm by masturbating, I was able to transfer the techniques to a two person interlude. I would encourage you to continue working on your solo skills till you get a real earth-shaking orgasm. Then, direct your partner or work on the stimulation you like by yourself during intercourse.