[l0vetolaugh]

ive been on the pill for about 2 years, and it has definitely killed my sex drive. i used to be insatiable and now i am not interested in sex at all. i have vaginal dryness, which makes sex hurt, which makes me dread it, and its a never ending cycle. it sucks because i love my boyfriend and am so attracted to him, but sex just isnt something that really matters to me anymore. he has been patient and understanding but i know it makes him sad and he wants to do it more. what im wondering, though is why i still enjoy masturbation and porn? when a pill kills a sex drive, wouldnt you not want to masturbate anymore either? i only do it like once or twice a week, and i can orgasm quickly this way. im just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? you dont want to bother with sex, but masturbation is great? lol

[fastaruk]

Take some advice from a guy...Tell your guy what the pill does to you. Be completely honest. Ask him whether he would prefer you to use lubrication (that's inevitable for most of us btw), use a condom, or surgery.

If he finds out you're refusing sex with him and masturbating, you could lose him. For some of us that's like cheating.

[kira]

I'm betting it's the dryness and discomfort turning you off instead of a lack of sex drive if you are still masturbating. Get some lube, make him take it slow, and make sure you enjoy it A LOT and you might undo your low sex drive.

[l0vetolaugh]

just to make a note: i am not refusing sex at all. we see each other from friday night thru monday morning, and we have sex at least once, usually twice. but he would like it more obviously lol, and i would like to do it more cause i love him to death and once we get going i DO enjoy it. its just getting motivated to do it that is tough. and we use lubrication but it still hurts and he knows im on the pill and thats why sex isnt as fun for me...he is understanding but im sure it still hurts his feelings a bit

[fastaruk]

Dumb question: Have you tried silicone - based lubes?

[l0vetolaugh]

yes, i have. lube is very helpful, but i also have the issue of taking a million years to become fully aroused. so...trying to be as non graphic as i can here lol...my vagina isnt fully opened, so when he enters me im still so tight, and he really has to shove it lol. that part hurts the most. the lube helps him slip in, but im still not quite widened and loosened enough. id describe it as the female version of erectile dysfunction lol. guys cant get it up, and i cant get myself loose :P

[l0vetolaugh]

i just have trouble relaxing so i can loosen up for sex. know what i mean?

[DreamP346]

Try masturbating with your partner. You like porn. So watch the porn together and then masturbate together. It may gey you so aroused, you will be more ready for intercourse.

[jns]

What I would suggest is to get some dildos of differing diameters from thin to your bf's size, lots of lube, his fingers and possibly his tongue. Nothing in your description is of a dead sex drive, just pain avoidance. Start with the thin dildos and work up. Have him kissing and licking you everywhere. It will take a while, but as you relax and get into it, you should be able to avoid the pain. When you are comfortable with a dildo of your bf's size, start having sex.

[MoeJr]

Um ...try not masturbating. No really, not trying to be a smart ****, by the time you see him you will be more inclined to be ready, than considering it a chore to get started. The best lube on the market isn't as good as your own, w/o masturbating your body will more likely be easily aroused as well as your mind, keeping you ready for the excitement I would be willing to guess your tense because your not into it. Oh but if you had to wait.....You know what I mean