[shammu]

hi, i am kinda in situation where i could use some advise . i have a boyfriend n we have been together for long time now . we used to kiss n stuff n now he expressed his wishing for sex n i am scared n i told him m nt ready yet, but thing is i have never felt arroused or high for sex is it abnormal? even though i have felt really high wen we kissed n all but nth that i wanted sex.kinda worried coz generally i hear alot of ppl are sexually active even before 18 n m 19 now n i ave no idea abt dis . plz advise

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

I'm a guy and I was scared before having sex so maybe its the same for a girl.

If your boyfriend is sensitive and caring and slowly and gently introduces you to making love it shouldn't be too bad.

Make sure your vagina is wet inside before making love, if not, and you want to do it anyway.

Buy some lube because that might actually help initially, if your anxious which is how you sound to me.

Like I say to everybody prolong the penetration as long as possible until YOUR READY which means you should be drenching wet all over ideally but you should at least be very wet vaginally.

If your not wet vaginally it will be uncomfortable for you and difficult for him.

A lubricated vagina excepts a penis much easier than a dry one. This is pretty logical of course but the guy may be too eager to insert his penis.

If he's a patient caring guy he will be prepared to wait but if hes not well you might acutally have a bad start depending on what he is like.

I'll give you some good life long advice PROLONG THE PENETRATION, because the longer you spend naked and getting aroused the better and closer to orgasm you will get.

Men are programmed inately to throw seed which just means the quicker they can ejaculate the higher the liklyhood of conception and offspring.

Pronlonged time before penetration tells the girls mind that this man may stay around to look after those children and it means he cares about you whereas if he just wants to get his rocks off and leave then maybe he wont hang around in which case it makes survival of those children more difficult.

Orgasm I think is the women or girls body saying hey this guy cares about my needs more than his own and rewards him (and yourself) for being a caring considerate and patient lover.

When your having an orgasm the vaginal barrel rythmically, spasmodically and uncontrollably grips the shaft of a mans penis (milks the penis of its sperm) and then the cervix sucks up the sperm and fast tracks it into the fallopian tubes.

So remember there is a potent magical reward for waiting until you're at the threshhold of orgasm.

ORGASM is such an incredible experience so if you are the type that can absorb this advice you may just have a good chance at achieving it.

I dont know what breed of man he is but if hes the right kind and knows what to do then it could be a wonderful experience on the other hand it could be aweful.

Still even if its aweful there is always tommorrow ....

If at first you dont succeed try again.

If your both anxious at least use LUBE its better than NONE if your too anxious.

[axise]

It could also be that you're asexual, but not aromantic. A lot of people think they're broken if they don't feel the need to have sex with other people, but it's actually completely fine, if not a little rare. I have at least five friends that I can think of off the top of my head who are asexual. Most of them even have significant others.

Don't rush into anything if you aren't ready for it. It could also be that you have completely normal anxieties to do with sex and taking your relationship to that next level. Talk to your boyfriend about it! I know it can be really awkward, especially if you're both on completely different pages as far as what you want, but actually discussing expectations and why you aren't ready will help you both feel better about the situation. It might seem strange, but he's probably just as stressed out as you are about this. It's a big deal, and even if guys pretend to be cavalier about sex, it matters a lot to them, too.

Whatever you decide, make sure you talk about it in depth a ton before you actually act on it, and even if your first time is awkward, or not as good as you both hoped, it should more easily become something you laugh about together later instead of something that makes it hard to talk to him again. That's another thing to keep in mind -- first times are NEVER like they are in the movies. Be prepared to have a sense of humor if you get to that point, because you will need it.

[Element]

You're obviously young; you're just not ready yet. I suggest waiting until you want to have sex, and not tossing it around in your head

[jns]

shammu, sex is one of those things that some take to right away, some take to after a while and some don't really take to. Take your time.