[margie123]

My husband & I went to Las Vegas this past weekend. We have been there before, I would say had a better time last time. Well he said why don't we go to a strip club tonight. I said I don't think so. I just don't know how to act in those situations. We went to coyote Ugly Saloon. He asked if I wanted to go in, I think he could tell I was not to interested. We went in. There was a Small group of people inside. Went to one bar no service, went to the other bar & he waited for drinks, I feel bad now because I did not go with him I just stood there looking like a *** I'm sure. Then a girl gets up on the bar & starts dancing. What am I suppose to do? I felt so out of place. Do I stare at her? I sure my huband does not want to make small talk with me. He does not like to dance, even slow dance (which I wish he would) When you go in do you look at these girls? dance along? I know it's part a jelous thing. I could not come close to their looks or man how do they do what do?? I wish I could. I can't even dance to Wll without looking out of place. I'm so bad I can't even do the electric slide. Right now I have a stomach just thinking about it. We were walking past a Chip N Dale's billboard. I said lets go there, he said no why would I want to see a bunch of men, but yet he says it different for girls to go watch other girls. I'm not a super outgoing person, I can have fun, but I'm never the life of the party or the loud mouth. Help me fell more in place. Help me fit in, or I think we may be healing different direction.

[rcoreyus]

He seems to not understand what things make you uncomfortable. Maybe he as an idea in his mind of how he wants you to behave, but that isn't your personality.

He probably wants you like women in some movies: to also be clapping and enthusiastic about the stripper. He probably feels its fair because he is willing to do the same for male strippers. The problem is that this isn't the way you are.

You could try to act like that - but it might just feel artificial and stupid - I know I couldn't do it.

You can talk to him and let him know that your personality just doesn't work that way and see what he says.

Do you enjoy your time with him the rest of the time?

[margie123]

Thank you for your reply, but he said he would not see chip & dale's with me, said "why would I want to watch men". So he should understand where I'm coming from. I know I'm not very out going & I do think alot of this is do to my weight, I'm 5'3 1/2 weight 201. Size 16, that new. I don't think I look fat, I would say plump. So I feel when I'm out going all eyes are on me, because I'm sure I stick out, because of how I dance, I don't think it's bad, I just don't have the great moves. We have a business so we work togther all day, he's in & out of the office. I just think we are togther to much. When somthing goes wrong in the office it comes home with us & vis versa. We have great times togther when it's good. I do love him very much but I think I'm not what he wants anymore. I think I understand when people say they have fallen out of love, it's like he does these things to push me away.

[chaya]

You just convinced me that I never want to go to Las Vegas, with my husband. I'm like you, I would feel so out of place and would be so embarrassed. I like to dance with hubby but not in a place like that. I would also be so mad at hubby if he even suggested going in a place like that.

[mahimahi]

this is a common example of the double standard! of course you should be able to go to a male strip club if he wants to go see female strippers. if i were you i would make him go to chipndales and look at those things swing! see how he likes it.

but seriously, probably not a huge deal but you should make him aware of how that made you feel thats whats important. otherwise he might not realize how you reacted

[rcoreyus]

Sorry I read your post too quickly and thought he was willing to see male strippers. I'm male and straight, but if my wife wanted to see male strippers, I'd be happy to go: I'm quite happy to go to local pizza place where she thinks one of the waiters is attractive. But, she doesn't want to see male strippers, and I'm not interested in female strippers .

So, your husband does have a double standard - does he have any excuse for it? He says he doesn't want to see a bunch of men, why does he think you want to see a bunch of women? Maybe he's watched to much porn and thinks all women are bisexual? (nothing wrong with women who are, but certainly not all are).

[Going upward]

I think that was a double standard for sure. Sometimes men don't realize how unfair they can seem. But I don't think you should feel bad about your looks based on him wanting to go to the club. I will tell you what my grand pop told me he said what a man find pleasing to the eye may not be what he finds pleasing to the touch. So don't worry about trying to fit in that may have been his attempt to get you to loosen up some so you can get home and attempt to seduce him. Sometimes guys just don't know how to say what they want from us . So they give little subtle hints. However, if this is something he wants you two to do on a regular then you may have to explain that you don't find that enjoyable and attempt to talk about your role as his wife and friend. But hopefully that was just a one-time situation. Good luck on your marriage

[bubba29]

to each their own. i would have loved to gone to a strip club with my wife. i woulda bought her lap dances. i love seeing her all horned up.

[PlainJayne]

Wake up people!! If your husband wants you to go with him to a strip club hes going for one reason only. To look at other women! If your husband isnt cheating already he will soon. In this age of cancun spring breaks, las vegas and other party hotspots this kind of activity is now viewed as normal. Not the sin that it is... You cannot allow this nonsence into your married life if you want to stay together. Marriage requires COMPLETE trust!!

[bubba29]

Wake up people!! If your husband wants you to go with him to a strip club hes going for one reason only. To look at other women! If your husband isnt cheating already he will soon. In this age of cancun spring breaks, las vegas and other party hotspots this kind of activity is now viewed as normal. Not the sin that it is... You cannot allow this nonsence into your married life if you want to stay together. Marriage requires COMPLETE trust!!

in my opinion, complete trust would mean i could walk into a strip club with my spouse and not expect them to sleep with people other than myself. lack of trust would mean i would have to shelter their eyes from seeing the opposite sex. to each their own i guess.