[rcoreyus]

I noticed in a discussion fantasies here that a lot of people are uncomfortable discussing what they would like in bed with their partners. So, I'm wondering how people on the other side of this feel: have your partners asked for things in bed that bothered you, or made you think less of them? I'm not counting requests that you just decided you didn't want to do, but things where the fact that they asked was bad.

[time2discover]

For many years I had a closed mind about what was right and wrong about sex. I would find some demands a little weird.

Somehow though because of my physical reactions, I figured I was missing something and that's when after coming to the
forums and seeing so many regular people discuss certain things as satisfying. It made me think!
Kept reading, and I saw people say they tried something new which seemed weird or that at first saw as gross and then winded
up totally enjoying it and getting even more pleasure than they ever expected. Sort of makes you see what your missing.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that everything works for everybody, but just like a new meal, try it and if you really don't like it,
try something else next time.(within certain limits of course, I wouldn't eat worms or like to be choked with a bag over my head but
some people do.)

[Stillness]

I don't know how to answer. I'm mostly bothered by stuff I've been asked not to do to her that I enjoy. If you strictly mean action, then I'd have to say 1, if inaction is included then 3.

She likes to do some weird things to me that are intimate, but not exactly sexual that make me uncomfortable or tickle me. I let her do them if she wants. She's hinted at some very different activities that she might be into that are a bit out of my comfort zone and that don't sound appealing to me. It surprised me. I'm willing though. I'm pretty open, as long as no one is getting hurt and it doesn't involve a strap-on and my anus.

[rcoreyus]

I've never had a request that I wasn't happy to try - but I've had few requests. I'm pretty open minded in the sense that I'm willing to try a wide variety of things even in I think I might not like them , because I might. Also, experimentation is fun. As with time2discover there are things that I know I wouldn't like that I wouldn't try, but very few things would offend me if suggested. There is also such fun in pleasing your partner that there are things that I might not enjoy much physically, but would really enjoy if my wife found them particularly exciting.

It is sad that a lot of people are so uncomfortable with sexuality that they won't ask for things that they would like. I suspect there are a lot of couples who are missing out on activities that they would both enjoy.

[time2discover]

Lived it for 24yrs, because we just weren't communicating about this.

The funny thing is, now that I've opened up and am willing to try, my husband turned around and told me he thought I was faking it just to keep him. He sees me as closed minded no matter what. Ironic isn't it?

[rcoreyus]

Its tough to get over history. I'm also very uneasy about suggesting things to my wife - because of some bad reactions 20 years ago! Now and then I wonder if she has just opened up sexually to keep me happy. I really don't think so, but its easy for thoughts to go that direction.

time2discover - if you husband thinks you are just faking - maybe try to be even more open: ask for something that you really want, so fantasy that you would enjoy, and offer to try to fulfill one of his. Its tough though - rejection hurts a lot.

[time2discover]

Tried that and that's when he started thinking I was playacting.
I understand his reactions, but after we sat down and had a long discussion about it, I could see in his face that he still doesn't believe me.
All these years, I have been closed minded sometimes about certain things but not dishonest.
His mind is set on the fact that if I was like that for so many years, I'll always be.

Sometimes I even wonder if because of the fact that I'm his wife and the mother of his children, I can't be the wild sexy lady?
Could that be?(I asked him that last night but he says no.)

[JonDoe]

I've never had a request in my marriage, which I find disturbing. OK, I don't count the very occasional request from my wife "Do you want to fool around?" She doesn't even like kissing.