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  • Debra20
    Member
    • Feb 2013
    • 17

    showering before and after

    hi i tried to post this before but it iddnt work i guess. Im pretty nervous about putting anything about sex on here but im gona do it. Me and my bf have been having sex for a few months now. He thinks it wierd Ilike to take a shower before and after. Depending on what we are really gona do i dont always need to before. But always always always I feel like i need to after. Do you think thats normal? He thinks its me being OCD and clean freak. thanks.
  • Guest

    perfectly normal, don't worry

    Comment

    • jns
      Assistant Admin
      • Mar 2010
      • 8398

      It's pretty normal before and after. Before because you don't want to present a less than perfect you to your partner. After because you want to clean off sweat and body fluids. I think after is more often wanted by women if their guy has ejaculated inside them as the semen drips out. Nothing OCD or clean freak about this. Some people want the feeling of their partner's fluids on them.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment

      • time2discover
        Veteran Member
        • Feb 2013
        • 323

        Like everyone said, absolutely nothing wrong with that. I always take a shower before unless it's not in the
        house and in that case usually not as much foreplay anyway. After, I don't really mind but it's usually my
        husband who takes one. So, it's really a personal choice and not an obsessive one.

        Comment

        • Debra20
          Member
          • Feb 2013
          • 17

          Thanks everybody i feel better about it now. Dont even get me thinking about him finishing inside.... ick

          Comment

          • time2discover
            Veteran Member
            • Feb 2013
            • 323

            That changes the whole aspect of your question. Nothing ick about it. It's natural and
            part of who we are. Actually that's the ultimate joining with your partner. If you haven't
            lived that, you cannot describe it.
            In this case, I would suggest you open up your mind about what sex is all about before
            you wind up losing out on a great adventure. 200 pages of great human experiences from
            normal healthy people just like you but maybe less afraid to try life. Read them and you'll see it's
            not ick. You cannot say lasagna tastes bad until you've tried it a few times!

            Comment

            • Debra20
              Member
              • Feb 2013
              • 17

              He has done it inside before. Its just the worst way to me, I know when we go to have kids i have to get used to it but for now its still ick to me

              Comment

              • tinyclitt
                Member
                • Feb 2011
                • 70

                I always do a quick shower with plain warm water (no soap) beforehand. Nothing wrong with taking a shower. I used to shower afterwards too. I haven't done that in a long time.

                Comment

                • kira
                  Veteran Member
                  • Feb 2008
                  • 986

                  Personally I find it a bit excessive but then I don't even shower every day except the hottest part of summer. In middle of winter I take a bath every couple days mostly to warm up after being outside and that's it. I've been told I smell good when I'd gone 3 days without a shower and my husband has never complained even about doing oral. My body just doesn't seem to get that dirty or smelly. I just have to go to the bathroom once after sex and that area comes out clean.

                  Comment

                  • cathygirl
                    Senior Member
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 108

                    Your feeling that the idea of his semen inside you is somehow bad caused me some alarm. It is not waste material, it is the normal product of his sexual release. To the extent that you treat is like something filthy that has to be washed away, you might find that you damage your relationship with him. Just my opinion, mind you. If it disgusts you, well, then it does. However, that can send a very negative message to your mate, who probably wants to feel accepted by you in his entirety. Just something to think about.

                    Comment

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