[Sahra Mullins]

Okay. So I've been wanting to adopt, but I haven't found a good agency, so I've decided to just have a baby the natural way. The problem with this is, I can't afford artificial insemination. I didn't think I would have such a big problem with this, but I am. For some reason, whenever I even THINK about sex with a man, I get nauseous. I am bisexual, but am still highly attracted to guys. I just have found that my sexual appetite has always been lacking, but lately, it's gotten even worse. I don't think I've converted to full lesbianism because I'm still attracted to men and have an amazing guy in my life that I'm physically and emotionally attracted to. It seems like the problem is the sex, full on. Penetration, foreplay, the sights, the smells, the feels. I've never had an orgasm and really don't even want to. I don't enjoy being touched, or having sex, but I've faked it several times before. I've never really enjoyed sex. Any carnal pleasure derived from the sex is gone five minutes after the sex because I feel like nothing more than a trashcan that was used for one purpose and one purpose only. My self-respect drops marginally after sex. I feel horrible after it. But I want a baby. I am willing to do it the natural way, but I can't seem to overcome the reluctance to actually have sex, with anyone. The thought of having sex with a girl is not nauseating. I don't think I've gone full lesbian because, like I said, I'm still highly attracted to men. I'm not sure if this disgust of sex is because I haven't had sex in two years, or if it's because my experiences with it have been extremely humiliating and made me feel used, or if I AM fully lesbian. I find the thought of being a lesbian not bad, but I don't want to be because I am still attracted to men. I don't want to stop dating men, but I also don't want to have sex with them, either. Is this simply a mental thing due to my experiences with sex, and is there some way I can boost my sexual appetites, or at least get over the reluctance of having sex?

[Harmony]

Two words (once you've managed to appropriate some semen): Turkey baster. This will circumvent the costs of AI, and the need to be penetrated with, and inseminated by a penis.

Re your aversion to sex I would advise counseling to help you work through your issues so you can cultivate your relationship and begin to enjoy sex as a mutually enjoyable and satisfying activity between two lovers which brings them closer together. A good start would be working on your self esteem and perhaps sex therapy.

There is a kind lady here (amongst many others, of course) called SP346 who is a sex therapist is is very forthcoming with advice and assistance, hopefully she will contribute and offer some more valid advice.

[Claret]

Prior to getting pregnant by any means, I think you should take the time to explore who you are. Are you a lesbian? If so, live that life and come to terms with all that that means. Are you hetero? Then live that life, find a man that you are compatible with and that you want to be with. Don't bring another child into this world, uncertain of who and what his parents are. This serves only to confuse the child and is unfair to that child. If you are not secure within yourself how do you hope to raise a secure child?