[livinginfantasy]

He's obsessed with it and politely asks me to do it at least 3 times a week. I want to do it for him, but the problem is, he really wants me to be able to fit his whole penis inside my mouth and this is uncomfortable for me to do because his penis is somewhat long and pretty wide, so it's hard for me to accommodate all of it at once. He's really nice about it but he's told me that if I can't fit it all the way in I might as well not give him oral at all. He wants it that much.

We have tried to make it easier for me. I have tried various techniques like sticking my tongue out and stretching my throat as if I'm about to yawn. We've used lube, and my boyfriend gently guides my head down on his penis, but there's always a point where it won't go any further. It makes me gag, and I can't breathe.

I want to be able to do this for him, but without all the struggling and pain. But should I do it less often? Or is there something we should do differently? I need advice.

[jns]

Giving ultimatums is not being really nice. He should be happy for what you can do. You should sit down with him and explain the facts of what you can do. Is he giving you oral?

[tinyclitt]

The top part is the most important part. I'm not able to deep throat either. What I do is put my hand around his shaft and pull it down toward the base to make the skin taught, then suck and lick the top part for a few minutes at a time. Every once in a while I'll go ahead and put it deep into my mouth and gag on it, but just for a few seconds. Then I have him stroke it for a few minutes and we alternate me sucking and licking it with him stroking it. When he's ready, I put my head back, open my mouth wide, he cums into my mouth, I swallow then lick and suck his penis clean.

[rcoreyus]

Be sure to tell him that you can't deepthroat him because he is just so big - doesn't hurt to boost his ego a bit .

Different things are important to different men, so you can't judge what he cares about by what other people like.

[PhrendlyPhil]

Using your hands can come in handy! You don't have to take him all the way down your throat for him to get a deep-throat sensation. Moving your well lubricated hand up and down with your mouth will give him the feeling that he's all the way in (forming your mouth and hand into one long vagina). You can also add some slurping or gagging sounds with your voice (a guh, guh, guh sound) that will really bring him over the edge. Don't forget to make eye contact. If you're willing you can either let him finish in your mouth or better yet ON your mouth (tell him you want this when he's getting close and you're taking a breath) I hope this makes it easier for you. Most important- have fun!

[Beccalouise]

I'm not much help, but I'm a bit the same. I'm not too keen on giving my boyfriend oral but he doesn't really like it when I do it. He sometimes asks me to do it but not always and is nice about it and doesn't force me. I also can't put all of his penis in my mouth, i also begin to gag. As someone else said, the top part is actually the most important. It's sort of like the clit of a man (from what I've read). It's the most sensitive and I think my boyfriend really likes it when I focus on licking the top in circles, you could maybe give that a try. If that isn't good enough for him, then he's being a bit selfish if he can't understand you're not able to fit all of his penis in your mouth. In a way, he should be proud he's that big.

[DreamP346]

There are numbing gels you can use. Its supposed to help with the gag reflex. Also, like PhrendlyPhil said, use your hands in combination with your mouth. Lots of women can't deepthroat. Your partner should be understanding of that.

[CoolBreeze]

No matter how polite, no one has the right to force something on you, if you are not comfortable. Please make that clear to your bf. You have the right to exercise your own intimacy with him in a way that you feel comfortable about. Having said that a few facts that you must know about deep throating, it's easier to perform on a size length beyond a certain point (above average in length), shorter ones are harder and just keep triggering the gag reflex. I will not advise to use any numbing gels. (due to side effects)However, if you are willing to go for it then try to acclimatize yourself with the feeling, by using appropriately sized dildos. I would also advise using Nina Hartley's guide(s) on the issue of oral sex/deep throating. As in other cases the old adage of practice makes perfect also rings true here.

[cathygirl]

Giving oral sex is one of my very favorite things to do. Some women can't stand it. Oh well. If this is a source of great incompatibility it's prob'ly better to move on than to live with constant friction over it. I can't "deep throat" and if my husband insisted he had to have someone who could do that, I'd have told him to move on. You can only do what you can do, and having one person dissatisfied in a relationship ends up creating two people who are dissatisfied.

[rcoreyus]

Its important to keep in mind that different men care about different things in oral sex. Some like deep throat, others not. Some care if you swallow, others just if they can finish in your mouth, some don't care at all. Some want it as an prelude to sex, others as a way to orgasm. Some want a submissive partner, some a loving partner, or a dominant one.

Before stressing over your ability to do something for your boyfriend / husband its important to find out what they really like.

Of course you don't need to do anything they want, but its good to at least know what it is.