[time2discover]

There's the chance that like CW said, he over studied this and has expectations which aren't
likely to happen all at once. We're all different and it's different depending on the day, how you
feel, etc. I suggest you tell him to relax and go without pre planned thoughts as to what should
be and just let himself feel it through. Surely the pleasure will come for both of you!

[Harmony]

It sounds to me like your BF is rather inexperienced and has been listening to his friends. With young men this almost certainly results in the blind proverbially leading the blind.

What makes him think your vagina isn't warm enough? As living people we all have a certain temperature our bodies will drop beneath unless we are dying, dead, or critically ill.

I agree with Lisa, it sounds like you may not have been fully aroused and not as warm as you could have been if you were. If the two of you had been intimate before then he may have helped you reach a greater state of arousal during which you may have been warmer, 'down there'. He needs to understand, acknowledge, assist and work with you if he wants you reach that degree of arousal again. Simple commenting or complaining will not suffice.

In short this isn't anything you've done wrong at all. It sounds like he was a bit confused with regard to his expectations.

In this guy's/boy/s defense remember sexual exploration doesn't just mean exploring your own body, it involves exploring, understanding and then learning how to pleasure your partner. I think this takes boys a lot longer than girls. For boys (the younger the more applicable this is) it's a matter of see naked women, get excited, stimulate penis: excitement and orgasm virtually guaranteed. It takes women time to explore and learn to understand their own bodies, and to make matters more difficult for men while they all share the same fundamental physical characteristics they are also all very different. And some men, like me, are slower learners than others.

If her has studied, or indeed overstudied then acted in good faith his intentions are at least commendable. Maybe direct him, in a non condescending way, towards books like, 'how to give her absolute pleasure' and 'she comes first'.

Good luck

[shoshannah]

I too think it may be inexperience, except that I would have thought that he would have noticed a temperature difference between condom and no condom. Was the room warm? My fiance finds that my vagina feels much warmer to him if the temperature in the room is cold, like in winter or if the air conditioner is turned way down.