[hmeyse30]

I am a 30 year old, mother of 5 who is very happily married for the past 12 years. My husband is the only person I have ever been with and we have an amazing bond both in and out of the bed. I have been curious what it would be like to be with a women for several years now. I mentioned my feelings to my husband last night and he seemed keen on helping me satisfy my desires. We agreed that we would meet a young lady, outside of our hometown and most definitely not someone we know. The plan is for myself and the other women to pleasure one another with my husband watching and then jumping in at the end making contact with only myself. As good as this sounds Im very reluctant to proceed with something like this for a few reasons...I fear it may damage what we currently have, an enormous love for one another, also Im not sure that Id go through with it!! Please give any advice or experiences you may have. Thank you

[LisaW1991]

I've never done anything like that before (not something I'd like), but I saw something like that on HBO's Real Sex. I remember the husband watched as his wife had sex with another woman; he really liked watching. I think they had done it before, but with a different woman each time.

I also saw something similar on Showtime's Gigolos. In that one, the husband and wife made a deal where they each could have sex with another person. First he had sex with a women (not on camera), then she had sex with a man (on camera), while he watched. He said he was OK watching his wife have sex with another man, but later she said he was a little jealous and really didn't like watching as much as he claimed.

[jns]

It's probably best just left as a fantasy. It is hard to tell if insecurities will be aroused.

Instead of outside of you hometown, I would say far away would be better if you were going to go ahead with it.

[Little]

I don't think your logistics are great - imagine being the other woman in this scenario. Approached from a couple from out of town, offered woman-on-woman sex with no attachment and never to see one another again? It sounds very shady, even though your intentions are good. You might take a chance with a post on your local (or the next town over's) Craigslist, though you should understand that you will NOT be alone and the pickings for a second woman will be slim. You could have a better chance at a swinger's club, if there are any in your area.

The best chance would be with a sex worker. If this doesn't sound like a palatable option, consider what you're asking the other woman to do - give you a pleasurable evening, then leave and never come back.

I have been in a threesome or two, always as the other woman (many years ago.) There is an unshakeable feeling that you are just a living sex toy for the couple. It's not pleasant. I would not do it again.

[Harmony]

Start by watching porn together. This will at least introduce the concept of a third party into the equation.

As Little said, hot single women tend not to want to go off and be the optional extra in couples' sexual encounters. If you don't have an accommodating friend then a sex worker really is the only remaining option.

I think threesomes are more for single people myself, and unless a threesome seems to be a naturally occurring step within a relationship it is probably best left alone since the risks of the damage it can cause are not really proportional to the rewards. However, since it is YOU initiating a threesome with another woman I think you are at the bottom of the risk ladder as far as potential relationship damage is concerned.

Perhaps start exploring your bisexual fantasies without your husband for the time being and start speaking to women online and being honest about your situation, you never know what will happen. There probably are other women in your situation out there, and not as far away as you think.