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Is he having an affair?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years.(Im 29, He is 31) At the start we had sex twice a day. We spent some time apart after that with a long distance relationship but always saw each other twice a month or once a month minimum. We have been living together for two years now and in the beginning we had sex 2-3 times a week. This past year he has been complaining that he has cuts on his penis and that it hurts too much to have sex. He will still masturbate 4 times a week and he says that hurts too but he turns me down every time I want to be intimate. we have spoken about this being a problem many times but he seems happy to have a sexless relationship with me and we are more like buddies now than partners. He doesnt seem to be attracted to me anymore. He told me his other girlfriends had the same problem with him not wanting sex as much but he likes to come up with an excuse for everything he does and is very stubborn. Its been two months since we last had sex and this past year its been at most once a month. He has been to the doctor and he recommended a specialist but my boyfriend refuses to ring him and keeps putting it off every time i mention it. I understand he might be a bit nervous about seeing a specialist but this is a problem that wont go away on its own and needs medical help. I have been an emotional wreck this past year and i have explained to him exactly how much this is hurting me and at the time he seems sympathetic but he still wont ring the number or make any effort to fix the problem. He is also working late in his job and I dont know if im being paranoid now because of this or if this is warning signs that he is cheating.I feel ugly and unloved and its not how I want to spend the rest of my life. Either way im ready to leave him and know he wont be expecting it. It would just be nice to know if im leaving him because hes cheating or because hes refusing to do anything to save our relationship. Im completely lost with this problem because i moved to his area to be with him and i have no friends to talk to about this. Any advice would be appreciated. -
If he has cuts on his penis it might be an std. Maybe thats why he scared to go to a doctorFiance : why are you whining and pouty?? Act like a man!
Me: Men nowadays can be fickle and emotional and not know what we want. Just like women! Its the 21st century! Its not the 1950's anymore!
Fiance: grrrr............. thats not how a man is supposed to act!
Me: Its the 21st century! Hello? Man have emotional rights now! You can't boss my emotions around anymore! This is America... -
Welcome to the Forum.
I am going to suggest that you tame his ego and send him to the Doctor.
Cuts on a mans penis (especially) if he masterbates too hard, too long is normal however, creams and lotions keep it soft and he needs to dry it out to get rid of them.
I suspect that he is in fear over getting cuts from penetration. It is my view that if a man masterbates 4 times a week, it takes longer for him to orgasm, consequently again you would dry out, he would get cut...
Ideally he should stop masterbation but even then it will take a long time to orgasm faster again in my opinion, as he has conditioned himself.
The stopping of masterbation over some months will help him immensely and you within your relationship.
Some men also have dermatitis, he could be using wrong soap, shampoo even... There are a few different things there for him to establish and only a Doctor can assist in that regard to work out any allergies .. in addition to soaps etc.
If I was a man and had that problem and wasn't sure why, the one thing I would stop is sex too but see how possibly he is addicted to masterbation? As it hurts but he hasn't stopped.
CWPUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!Comment
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Hi there,My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years.(Im 29, He is 31) At the start we had sex twice a day. We spent some time apart after that with a long distance relationship but always saw each other twice a month or once a month minimum. We have been living together for two years now and in the beginning we had sex 2-3 times a week. This past year he has been complaining that he has cuts on his penis and that it hurts too much to have sex. He will still masturbate 4 times a week and he says that hurts too but he turns me down every time I want to be intimate. we have spoken about this being a problem many times but he seems happy to have a sexless relationship with me and we are more like buddies now than partners. He doesnt seem to be attracted to me anymore. He told me his other girlfriends had the same problem with him not wanting sex as much but he likes to come up with an excuse for everything he does and is very stubborn. Its been two months since we last had sex and this past year its been at most once a month. He has been to the doctor and he recommended a specialist but my boyfriend refuses to ring him and keeps putting it off every time i mention it. I understand he might be a bit nervous about seeing a specialist but this is a problem that wont go away on its own and needs medical help. I have been an emotional wreck this past year and i have explained to him exactly how much this is hurting me and at the time he seems sympathetic but he still wont ring the number or make any effort to fix the problem. He is also working late in his job and I dont know if im being paranoid now because of this or if this is warning signs that he is cheating.I feel ugly and unloved and its not how I want to spend the rest of my life. Either way im ready to leave him and know he wont be expecting it. It would just be nice to know if im leaving him because hes cheating or because hes refusing to do anything to save our relationship. Im completely lost with this problem because i moved to his area to be with him and i have no friends to talk to about this. Any advice would be appreciated.
from what you are saying its hard to tell if he is cheating or not, but def there is a problem. At 31 not wanting sex is not normal. Any man will tell you that even if they are completely not attracted to somebody but sleep in the same bed eventually they will want sex its just guys nature. The cuts part thats weird, how do you get cuts jerking off? You never wanted to see those cuts?
Bottom line even if he is not cheating at 29 you shouldn't be putting up with sexless life cuts or no cutsComment
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