[taj]

Just saw your thread. From what I have read you all seem to be consenting adults mutually enjoying each other. Don't hold any guilts and enjoy it to the max while it lasts. You will cherish these memories for ever.

Thanks, We are not feeling any guilt, since we are being open and honest with everyone involved.
We are enjoying ourselves... It's also great because for some reason my sex drive is very high...
This will also keep my mind off the pending divorce.

[taj]

In general I think its OK because its between concenting adults. My concern would be that if things change someone involve could get hurt, and that would just make it complicated for everyone. Risk vs reward.

We are behaving like mature adults, and have had discussions about this.
We have discussed the possibility of things changing, and many times he has even
asked me about reconciling with my husband, and said he will not be upset, and will
not blame me or be angry with me. The reason I am not pursuing a reconciliation is
because I fear his temper and have noticed it getting borderline violent.

And I know him well enough, and have witnessed his behavior, when I broke of our engagement years ago.
He took it hard, but was understanding. He did not yell, or call me names, etc... He tried the best to accomodate me and convince me to get married, but because of his business, and family in U.S. he could not promise a move to India. We were each others first love. Even after he was introduced to my sister, he approached me to check my feelings, etc...
He is very gentle, and kind, so I have complete faith that he won't make the situation complicated.
Even before we started having sex, he was very respectful towards me, and treated me well.

[LisaW1991]

We are behaving like mature adults, and have had discussions about this.
We have discussed the possibility of things changing, and many times he has even
asked me about reconciling with my husband, and said he will not be upset, and will
not blame me or be angry with me. The reason I am not pursuing a reconciliation is
because I fear his temper and have noticed it getting borderline violent.

And I know him well enough, and have witnessed his behavior, when I broke of our engagement years ago.
He took it hard, but was understanding. He did not yell, or call me names, etc... He tried the best to accomodate me and convince me to get married, but because of his business, and family in U.S. he could not promise a move to India. We were each others first love. Even after he was introduced to my sister, he approached me to check my feelings, etc...
He is very gentle, and kind, so I have complete faith that he won't make the situation complicated.
Even before we started having sex, he was very respectful towards me, and treated me well.

I can relate a little bit because I have had "friendship" sex with a couple of different guys. Guys I've know of a few years, and like a lot, but no romantic feelings. We have sex occasionally and its really nice. It is making love on friendship level, which I am not sure too many people can understand. Its different that romantic sex, but just as nice. Because we have shared sex together, its makes us friends in a special way that only sex can create between two people.

[CoolBreeze]

Thanks, We are not feeling any guilt, since we are being open and honest with everyone involved.
We are enjoying ourselves... It's also great because for some reason my sex drive is very high...
This will also keep my mind off the pending divorce.

Don't make your pleasures pursuant to forgetting or fighting an ongoing issue. I know it is hard but as a human being the exercise of your desires would be better realized if they are consummated generically from within. Are you sill in DC?

[taj]

Don't make your pleasures pursuant to forgetting or fighting an ongoing issue. I know it is hard but as a human being the exercise of your desires would be better realized if they are consummated generically from within. Are you sill in DC?

Yea, at first it was about forgetting my problems... There still are a few times that I just want sex so I don't have to think about the divorce, and the mean text messgs I keep getting from him. But Now, there are mutual feelings, and desire for each other.
And honestly, my brother-in-law is also enjoying it. He's getting lots of sex. It took him a while to warm up to having someone besides his wife.
No, after I had pretty much decided I want out of the marriage, I moved to FL because that's where my sister lives. I had to get some distance from my husband. I will have to make a few trips to DC for the divorce proceedings, and also to get some of my personal stuff back.

[BabyGirl]

This sounds like Polygamy.
Even though it is not " Legal " in the USA, I believe it is Practiced in many other Countries as well as here and India included, so your parents should hopefully understand the situation is not just an American Culture issue .

However there are some " Religions and States that look the other way ( legally ) to what is going on in your Family Relationship.

You have a unusual ( published by yourself on internet ) situation here. One worth digging into and discussing .

To me it is reminiscent of the " Tribal Law " of other countries and even this one, Where SEX Ruled it all, and with Sex came the Satisfaction and feeling of " Love " and Support. With the feeling that you would be taken care of, that you would not be " Abandoned "..
As long as you Satisfied the Provider.

And that the Others in the " Cult ".. Allow this .

Sorry I can only use that word as I almost joined the Peoples Temple and Jim Jones " Church " in the Mid 1970's. People can Google Jim and Church . Ukiah and Redwood Valley, CA.

The issue here is You need/ Want " Love and SEX " you have a Husband, But He is not the One You want NOW ?
You want Your Ex Lover who married your Sister and now you wish to Share him or I should say She is willing to Share him with You ?

In Divorcing your Husband,

You say,you in No Way want him to know that you are having a Polygamist relationship and even a Insestual Relationship with your Sibling ?
Yes Sex with family in 3 Ways is Incestual.
This only meaning with you and your Sister having Sex or any other Direct Blood Family "
1. Sexual relations between people closely related by blood, especially between parent and child, brother and sister.
2. The crime of sexual relations between persons related by blood, where such cohabitation is prohibited by law.

But what will happen in the Divorce if he does find out ?

It sounds like you are Running away from an " Abusive Right Relationship into another Trap of
"
I will take Leftovers .. I will be " ALLOWED " to Love and Desire, I will take my Teachings and Morals out of the Picture and act on My " I need to feel Loved and Wanted " .

Instead of the ..
I Deserve to be Loved and Wanted and Find my Own.

[taj]

This sounds like Polygamy.
Even though it is not " Legal " in the USA, I believe it is Practiced in many other Countries as well as here and India included, so your parents should hopefully understand the situation is not just an American Culture issue .

However there are some " Religions and States that look the other way ( legally ) to what is going on in your Family Relationship.

You have a unusual ( published by yourself on internet ) situation here. One worth digging into and discussing .

To me it is reminiscent of the " Tribal Law " of other countries and even this one, Where SEX Ruled it all, and with Sex came the Satisfaction and feeling of " Love " and Support. With the feeling that you would be taken care of, that you would not be " Abandoned "..
As long as you Satisfied the Provider.

And that the Others in the " Cult ".. Allow this .

Sorry I can only use that word as I almost joined the Peoples Temple and Jim Jones " Church " in the Mid 1970's. People can Google Jim and Church . Ukiah and Redwood Valley, CA.

The issue here is You need/ Want " Love and SEX " you have a Husband, But He is not the One You want NOW ?
You want Your Ex Lover who married your Sister and now you wish to Share him or I should say She is willing to Share him with You ?

In Divorcing your Husband,

You say,you in No Way want him to know that you are having a Polygamist relationship and even a Insestual Relationship with your Sibling ?
Yes Sex with family in 3 Ways is Incestual.
This only meaning with you and your Sister having Sex or any other Direct Blood Family "
1. Sexual relations between people closely related by blood, especially between parent and child, brother and sister.
2. The crime of sexual relations between persons related by blood, where such cohabitation is prohibited by law.

But what will happen in the Divorce if he does find out ?

It sounds like you are Running away from an " Abusive Right Relationship into another Trap of
"
I will take Leftovers .. I will be " ALLOWED " to Love and Desire, I will take my Teachings and Morals out of the Picture and act on My " I need to feel Loved and Wanted " .

Instead of the ..
I Deserve to be Loved and Wanted and Find my Own.

This sounds like Polygamy
Even though it is not " Legal " in the USA, I believe it is Practiced in many other Countries as well as here and India included, so your parents should hopefully understand the situation is not just an American Culture issue .
I have not had sex and am not having sex with my sister... Using the term 3 way was probably the wrong term...

The issue here is You need/ Want " Love and SEX " you have a Husband, But He is not the One You want NOW ?
You want Your Ex Lover who married your Sister and now you wish to Share him or I should say She is willing to Share him with You ?

This was not the cause of my divorce or did not convince me to file for divorce. We had serious issues before this happened. He started getting a bad temper, he somewhat forced himself on me a few times.. I use the term somewhat, because I did not really say no..



In Divorcing your Husband,

You say,you in No Way want him to know that you are having a Polygamist relationship and even a Insestual Relationship with your Sibling ?

Mostly because of his temper, and also telling him would serve no purpose

Yes Sex with family in 3 Ways is Incestual.

Like I stated before, I am not having sex with my sister.


But what will happen in the Divorce if he does find out ?

Nothing much can happen, he can make the divorce harder?
He does have some intimate pictures that he could put on Facebook. I am going to try and
retrieve those... When I say intimate, it's not X rated, more like R rated, professionally shot for my husband..


It sounds like you are Running away from an " Abusive Right Relationship into another Trap of
"
I will take Leftovers .. I will be " ALLOWED " to Love and Desire, I will take my Teachings and Morals out of the Picture and act on My " I need to feel Loved and Wanted " .

Instead of the ..
I Deserve to be Loved and Wanted and Find my Own.

I agree, morally it's not the best situation, but we're enjoying ourselves...

[rcoreyus]

I do not think there are legal issues, and I have no moral issues with what Taj is doing. On the other hand when you go against long standing societal traditions it is worth treading very carefully. Some of those traditions are there for reasons that are now obsolete (or never existed), but some are there to protect people from the consequences of these actions.

Casual sex does work for some people, but I think there are a lot who believe it will work, then find out otherwise.

[jns]

I don't think this sounds like polygamy. At least not polygamy as a legal definition. There has been no attempt to have legal ties in marriage to more than one other person. The second relationship is not long enough to constitute a common law marriage. If it was to go on long enough to constitute a common law marriage, then it would meet legal definitions of bigamy and polygamy.

As far as societal traditions, how many of them have been torn asunder? Blacks and whites marrying? Asians and whites marrying? Other interracial marriages? Being gay? Oral sex? Anal sex? Individuals and groups had to fight to not be persecuted for personal decisions and gain societal acceptance in relationships.

[rcoreyus]

I'm not saying that societal traditions are all right, just to be careful. Many societies object to promiscuity before they realized that it was a good way to spread disease. Many societies object to adultery and in practice it does seem to result in many unhappy people. Many objected to incest without understanding the genetics that made it a bad idea if children were involved.

No moral objections here, anything between consenting adults is fine with me, just be careful that you understand what you are getting in to.