[Jennej]

Is it normal for a husband to force himself on you if he thinks you are passed out? There have been a few times in which this has happened to me, or I woke up choking with sperm in my throat. He also treats me like a ***** in bed. Every now and then a little tie me up and spank me is fun, but when he brings home tequila I get scared. I am not exaggerating. This has been happening for a few years now. Do I talk to him about it? He also does other strange things that I'd rather not post about, but I am curious if this is something other women have experienced or is this out of the ordinary?

[KMonte85]

Oh Jenne, this is definitely NOT normal. This man is forcing himself on you without your consent (or knowledge if you're passed out). Husband or not, if you're afraid of what he's doing to you, if you don't like it, if you haven't consented, and he does it anyway: that is SEXUAL ABUSE.

I'm worried that someone who is sexually violent may become violent in other ways if confronted about his behavior. If you talked to him about it, what do you think his reaction would be?

[rcoreyus]

No, not at all normal! Unless there has been some agreement beforehand, having sex with someone (even your spouse) when they are sleeping / passed out is rape. Have you told him you don't want him doing this? Is it possible he doesn't realize that you are not agreeing to this?

[Stillness]

I found this thread:

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/17694-i-caught-my-husband.html

I thought there was another one, but I couldn't find it. You're not the first person to deal with this sort of thing though. Why wouldn't you talk to him about it? Are you afraid he might hurt you or leave you? Or is he just the type that does what he wants and won't listen? Is he making you drink or is he doing things you don't like when he's drunk?