[Freedom914]

Okay so this is the problem....my boyfriend and I have been dating 3 years I love him he is my everything but when it comes down to sex its just like

He was a virgin when we first met, obvious to say he isn't anymore but the problem is that he won't stay hard.

We do foreplay, and I give him oral but just when he is hard enough to put it in he loses it and I feel like I have to start from scratch. His hands get freezing cold and he gets shaky I know that its nerves because he cant hold it in or fear that he will finish too quick but idk what to do. He is 22 and I am 24.

We have tried sex with condom and without on the bed on the floor in the kitchen everywhere and nothing. He cant stay hard and when it is its probably in me for less than a minute. I don't know what it is. I keep thinking its me that I dont turn him on enough but when we arent home and we are out he just cant keep his hands off of me. Its like it all dies in the bedroom and in all honesty i just get tired of constantly sucking his ding a ling for him to get hard and i loose it. I have gotten to the point that I think it might be ED or something mental idk i am at the edge now because I love him but sex its just so boring always me on top or vice versa. He says he loves me and I believe him but whats going on!?

[jns]

He may so anxious that he cannot stay hard. Is he like this when he is on his way to being drunk? In some cases alcohol can reduce anxiety and the normal body reactions take over. Another thing could be that he has put you on such a pedestal that he gets anxious from that. Whatever the original causes are of him going soft, he probably has a mental block now that keeps him from staying hard. Has he tried a erection ring (penis ring) to maintain an erection?

To work through the mental block, you two will have to try some longer lovemaking sessions with no pressure on him to maintain an erection. Any hint of frustration on your part will reinforce his going soft. For his part, he has to be willing to just let go with you and get comfortable having fun sex play with you. I hope he likes giving you pleasure outside of intercourse.

Things that can trigger going soft also include medications or too much masturbation. Is he on any medication? Does he masturbate?

[CoolBreeze]

It's not ED, most probably its a mental issue. You have to get him in the zone where he doesn't feel pressurized. Virgins normally have this problem in the beginning but learn to find their sexuality with time. Try to learn his fantasies, change the venue have a different ambience. Try this thing have a short vacation and travel to some exotic place. In 90% cases travelling and change of location helps to bring your inner self out and makes it easy to confront and realize ones own sexuality. Try different things and be imaginative, eventually you two will find it out. Best wishes.

[antsinmypants26]

I agree with the mental block that the previous posters suggested. Men have a lot of stress in regards to their penises, and sometimes the thought of not satisfying you fully can be frustrating. It sounds like this has been an ongoing issue, and you may have voiced this to him in the past. If he feels as though you aren't being satisfied it can increase the anxiety and that obviously isn't working for either one of you. I agree with the **** ring suggestion, that's a great option. Also I know at this point it may be hard, but try and reassure him that you love him, and he makes you feel amazing. There are always toys and such if you're willing to go that route with him. It's obvious he loves you, and you turn him on, and it might just take finding that thing about one another that sends him over the edge and gets him really going. Good luck, and stay positive.