[besky21]

My Fiance and I met in college and have been together for 5 years now. I love him more than life itself and can't wait for our wedding in November so that I can spend the rest of our lives together. We have both been very sexual and adventurous most of our lives and our sex is usually amazing. We have experimented with just about every fetish out there and there are very few we didn't like.

For years, we talked and fantasized about a threesome with another girl but never crossed that line because of fears of jealousy (even though neither one of us are the jealous type). Last year it finally happened at a Halloween party at a friends house... and it was the most INCREDIBLE sexual experience of our lives, or at least mine. The problem is that I cant stop fantasizing about him with other women. It has gotten to the point where I need to imagine him having sex with another woman to achieve the powerful orgasms I have grown to love and need.

Its not like the sex is bad or we don't love engaging in out other fantasies as well, but I find myself constantly going back to the thought of him inside another girl to orgasm. He knows that all he has to do to get me to orgasm multiple times in bed almost instantly is to call me by another girls name and tell me how he is imaging her instead of me. The problem is that I need more than just fantasy, I need it in reality. It has gotten to the point that I encourage him to hang out with other female coworkers and go to the clubs with his friend, and being crushingly depressed if he comes home and hasn't slept with another woman. We currently have a very attractive female roomate and I am desperately trying to get him to have a long term sexual relationship with her, but my fiance seems hesitant to sleep with anyone else especially when I am not there.

Please, before everyone starts analyzing my mental issues, please know that there was never any abuse or “daddy” issues for either one of us. We are both successful and normal outside the bedroom, and I think I am so comfortable with my fetish because I trust him and know he would never fall in love with someone else over sex alone. I am looking for any other woman who has had the same feelings as me and to know how you handled them and how your lives after marriage turned out. Anyone with insight would be so helpful!

[jns]

We are both successful and normal outside the bedroom, and I think I am so comfortable with my fetish because I trust him and know he would never fall in love with someone else over sex alone.

Falling in love is never about sex alone: being about sex alone is what falling in lust is about. Having access to sex can lead to falling in love due to the biochemistry of bonding. Your fiance' is doing his best to have the bonding with you instead of another woman, but you seem to want him to have an illicit affair that you can listen in on.

For you it seems like an ego boost to have you bf sleep with other women but come home to you at night.

What will you do if he does fall for another woman while trying to fulfill your fantasies? Can you live with sharing him? Can he share evenly? Can he love more than one woman at a time? Some can do something like this, others cannot.

[besky21]

For you it seems like an ego boost to have you bf sleep with other women but come home to you at night.

I have thought about the reasons why it gets me off so hard when he has sex with other women and we have had many open conversations about it. I think that one of the main reasons I enjoy it so much is the whole "voyeur" aspect of the situation. I have been a total exhibitionist and voyeur for as long as I can remember, and seeing him have raw, primal and rough sex with another woman with no emotion other than sexual pleasure seems to be where I derive the most pleasure from. I particularly enjoy hearing about his adventures during sex, and prefer to watch him discreetly when I am present.

What will you do if he does fall for another woman while trying to fulfill your fantasies? Can you live with sharing him? Can he share evenly? Can he love more than one woman at a time? Some can do something like this, others cannot.

This is one of the things I fear on mostly a subconscious level. I don't think I could handle him falling in love with another woman, and if I believed he would I don't think I would enjoy our experiences. Knowing that it is just sex with no emotion is what makes it such a big turn-on for me. I typically feel that my sexual urges more closely resemble that of a man in that there are occasions when we "make love" with emotion and feeling, but sex and love are totally separate in my mind. Most often, I need sexual gratification and the feelings of intimacy are reserved for other times, and he is the same way. This has kept our communication strong; there is absolutely nothing we can't talk about. He has told me many times that he has never felt the need to cheat on me, mainly because he knows he is allowed (actually encouraged) to have sex with any woman he is physically attracted to.

My biggest conscious fear is knowing myself and desires, and knowing that my sexual urges become so powerful that I have an overwhelming tendency to take them to the next level, whatever that my be or what consequences may arise. For example, two years ago during Mardi Gras in LA, we both had a great time and I flashed more people than I could count (as I said before, I am an exhibitionist). Even though it was a huge turn on for both of us, the ultimate thrill for me was being touched and groped by strangers. I found myself getting mad if I lifted my shirt and no one bothered to "cop a feel". I'm not sure where this fetish of him with other women will, ore even can, lead. It is something I want to continue long after we are married. I fear that someday down the road it may not excite me anymore, but won't have the heart to ask him to stop.