Masturbation/sex problem, HELP!! ):

**823561** · 07-03-2013, 11:56 AM

I have the same problem. See above thread. No answer yet.

**jns** · 07-03-2013, 05:10 PM

Third, are you going right at the opening of the clitoral hood? If you are, that may be why it kinda hurts. As soon as you start getting aroused, your clitoris will start to engorge and may start to stick out from under the clitoral hood. If that happens, you could be stimulating the clitoris directly which may be painful. Try stimulating the clitoris through the clitoral hood. Stay back a little way from the opening.

When your bf fingers you, is he sticking his fingers in your vagina? If he is it might be that he is stimulating your g-spot (from what I've read). If you get to the point where you are going to ejaculate, other posters have described it as feeling as if you want to pee. If you made sure to peed before you started, it shouldn't be pee. Then it's a matter of letting go.

Don't worry about being normal. You are normal and your questions are normal. Good luck.

**sweatersandtea** · 07-05-2013, 05:47 AM

Some Answers

Originally posted by Thirdkidinlove

So, I've kinda masturbated. 'Kinda', cos, it starts to feel really nice, then my clit gets super sensitive and I get muscle spasms and it just, kinda hurts. So I stop. I've never gotten anywhere NEAR orgasm. It's so frustrating. And when my boyfriend fingers me, it kinda feels like I have to pee, as well as being kinda tingly and fluttery, which is cool. But that's it. It's nothing crazy. It doesn't make me moan or anything. And sex doesn't feel like that much. But, idk, it's only been a few months since I lost my virginity. I don't think this is normal though.

It's really really bugging me. I feel like such a mutant and no internet sources are helping. Some say, concentrate more, others say relax and don't think. Idk what to do. It's making me really upset and I'm really hoping someone can help me out. ):

First off, when it comes to masturbation, you have to figure out what works for you. Pressure on the outside of the clitoral hood often feels good, though you need to figure out what form of pressure works for you. It may be that you are apply too much pressure. Some individuals choose to masturbate through their panties, as this provides some buffer. Also, it may be that you need to try some form of lubrication. I know that if I am not freshly shaven, then masturbation without lubrication can feel uncomfortable for me. Play around, figure out what works for you, and take yourself to new heights. As for vaginal intercourse, most women do not reach an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Once you figure out how to orgasm, you can try using a vibrating toy, your fingers, or some other clean object to provide stimulation during intercourse.

As for feeling like you have to pee. That's also totally normal if your boyfriend has his fingers inside you. Just inside the vagina, on the upper wall, there is the g-spot. The g-spot fills up with fluid as you become aroused and that's what makes you feel as if you have to pee. If you continue this stimulation (as well as clitoral stimulation, if that's what you need for orgasm) you can do what is called squirting. Squirting is just where the fluid filling the g-stop is released. It's not urine and, for me and many individuals, it's a pretty incredible orgasm. A lot of individuals are also very embarrassed when this happens, but it's totally normal. Many rabbit vibrators are made with a g-stop tip that help many women reach this level of orgasm, but again, it's all about what works for you. Staying hydrated can also help in reaching a squirting orgasm.

Finally, you're no mutant. Everything you described is incredibly normal, and if you realize that, and know what to search for.. you'll find a lot of sources on these kinds of things. If you really aren't enjoying the sex, try changing positions. Try roleplay, try toys, try anything that seems as if it might interested you and that your boyfriend consents to. Hope this helps.

**CoolBreeze** · 07-05-2013, 10:02 PM

The suggestions provided above are good. What you are doing is very natural. You just have to be in that mental zone before you start. Don't feel pressured to do something. Lay out your fantasies one by one and mentally play them out. They can take what ever form you like. Once you do that mentally then the physics will follow correctly.

**LisaW1991** · 07-06-2013, 11:44 AM

Masterbation does not get me sexual aroused, and by that I mean when I touch myself or try to use sex toys. I need to have a guy involved or I won't get sexually aroused. This has puzzled me for a long time and I really can't explain it. The only thing that might be a factor is that I started messing around with boys with I was 10-11 and I got sexual aroused by kissing and his hand fondling my breasts or between my legs. I don't think I tried any self stimulation until after I had started having sex (age 12). I remember once tried inserting small 6 inch plastic bottle into my vagina and simulated having sex, and I couldn't get myself aroused, but I remember later that day I did have sex and was very sexually aroused by having a real erection inside me. Somehow my body knew the difference, and couldn't be tricked.

For me its not a matter of technique of doing materbation, its simply comes down to I don't get sexually aroused unless a guy is involved. For whatever reasons that how I'm sexually wired, which is actually fine. I really don't feel I am missing anything

**jns** · 07-06-2013, 01:07 PM

Lisa, do you get sexually aroused if the guy is the one masturbating you or using a sex toy? To go further would be to create a scenario where you couldn't tell if it was the real thing or a replacement, such as using a blindfold and the guy, while using a strap-on or something similar still goes through the motions so you cannot tell the difference by his actions. Such an experiment would separate what you believe to be so from what is actually so.

A lot of women and men get aroused by getting their partner aroused. Adding in replacements may interfere with that mental construct.

**LisaW1991** · 07-06-2013, 01:49 PM

Originally posted by jns

Lisa, do you get sexually aroused if the guy is the one masturbating you or using a sex toy? To go further would be to create a scenario where you couldn't tell if it was the real thing or a replacement, such as using a blindfold and the guy, while using a strap-on or something similar still goes through the motions so you cannot tell the difference by his actions. Such an experiment would separate what you believe to be so from what is actually so.

A lot of women and men get aroused by getting their partner aroused. Adding in replacements may interfere with that mental construct.

Its really a matter of being sexual with a guy rather than by myself. If a guy is using a sex toy to stimulate me I do get aroused because he is doing it. When I am alone, and attempt to get sexually aroused a toy or whatever, its just not possible. I'm not able to stimulate myself. I do like your suggestion, because being blindfolded can be a lot of fun.

Yes, getting a guy aroused is something I really enjoy doing, and its something that always been a huge turn on for me. I remember seeing a boy's 5-6 inch erection for the first time during a show-n-tell makeout session in my bedroom after school; my immediate reaction was that his erection was very alluring and was something I made happen. I also had a 5 minute giggle fit because it just struck me as funny seeing it sticking up in the air; it seemed way too big for him. I never met to tease my bfs, but I enjoyed getting them sexually aroused because it help get my body sexually aroused as went it through the process of preparing for sex, and I found that very exciting\thrilling.

Masturbation/sex problem, HELP!! ):

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