[MissterDog]

I'm not sure how to categorize or identify my problem. Hopefully I can explain it well enough to get feedback. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this.

For the past two years I've been experiencing severe burning pain in my vaginal area after sex. The pain often resembles a UTI and it's very difficult to tell if the pain is coming from my uretha or inside my vagina. Either way, the pain gets so intense that I literally can't do anything except soaking in a tub of warm water all day. This will persist for hours on end for 8-14 days at a time. It interferes with my marriage, the ability to have a job and my over all daily activities. It's been a source of my depression and anxiety.

Here is my report on the details.

Symptoms

- Symptoms only happen after sex. It does not happen every time.
- This problem occurs every 1-3 months.
- Intense, burning pain, especially during urination. Urination is frequent and in small portions. Often straining or required focus to urinate.
- Pain does not immediately occur after sex. They first appear 8-12 hours later, typically the following morning.
- Pain will last for at least 3-6 hours at a time in phases during the day.
- Pain is at its peak in the morning. It will gradually die out in the late evening but will flare back up the next day in the morning. This will progress for atleast a week or two.
- Recently, pain has been waking me up in the middle of the night.


Past clinic visits/reports

- Got two smears from different clinics. Both reported negative for any STD's.
- Both concluded I was healthy and did not know what my problem was.
- Both said they could not do anything unless I come in while experiencing symptoms ( this didn't work out because I was in the process of moving and my family doctor was part time and never available when this happened.) Suggested I could see a specialist but wait time would be 8 months (this was in Canada).
- One clinic said it was because bacteria keeps infecting my uretha and I'm just more sensitive there. The doctor did not want to give me antibiotics and suggested to cease sexual activity with my husband.

Important details

- We always shower and clean before and after sex.
- I don't use douches.
- I always pee before and after sex.
- We have been using a body and toy cleaning spray that has significantly increased prevention.
- Does not seem to be a latex allergy.
- We've decreased oral stimulation since it seemed to have a higher risk of infection. If we do, I ask my husband to use mouthwash before engaging.
- I have not tried birth control yet.
- I shave my public hair. I can't stand it otherwise.
- I do not use scented tampons. I do not use tampons while having theses symptoms.
- After symptoms have passed we wait for a week before we engage in any sexual intercourse.
- We use water-based lubrication
- Painkillers are ineffective.
- We REFUSE to practice abstinence. We are a married couple and feel that conclusion is unacceptable.

Situation

I am currently living in the US searching for an appropriate female health doctor and/or gynecologist. My past clinic experiences were in Canada. My husband and I recently married and we are still trying to settle in. We do not have health insurance or a stable source of income yet. With my condition, I'm limited to contract work from home. Since medical visits without insurance is costly, we are trying to wait until we are in a better financial situation before I make my visit. For now I'm trying to do research on what my problem is and finding out the procedure on what to do and who I need to see.


Any feedback, advise or just encouragement is appreciated. I could use as much help as possible. Does anyone know what this could be? Has anyone had similar problems? Who did you see and what did you do to cope? How much has your visits and treatments cost?

[Stillness]

This is probably not helpful because I'm a man and what I experience is nowhere near as crippling as what you describe.

I get a irritating, painful burning sensation after sex that I've noticed from time to time over the last 20 years. I'm pretty sure that it has to do with when I urinate. It doesn't seem to happen all the time. But when I think it occurs is when I'm having sex and can feel the uncomfortable need to urinate, I interrupt and urinate (which is difficult with an erection), and then go back to sex.

I don't know why it happens. I think it may be me being impatient trying to force it through the erection. It took me a while to figure it out because it doesn't happen every time, but it only happens when I do that. I do believe that a couple of times it may have happened when I go immediately after sex too, even if I don't go right back to it. Typically then there's not the same urgency to get that pesky bodily function out of the way, so I'm more patient, though. Me being aware of it has made a difference. There has to be some reason why it only happens sometimes for you too.

So the only thing I could ask is if you can link anything unusual that you do to when this happens to you. I don't know if the waste/sex mechanisms are the same for women as for men. The other thing is that my wife does get UTI's from time to time after we have sex. We try to remember to get her to go to the bathroom afterwards to flush her out. The female tract is short so it's easy for things to get up there.

[skyecountrygril]

First off, you have my deepest sympathy - it sounds as if you are in complete agony and its causing real upset in your sex life - and your everyday life!
I only have limited knowledge as I am in the UK (Scotland, whoop whoop!) so the health care over here is very different. I've had many many problems with my lady parts from a Pelvic Inflamatory Disease to and STI, but your symptoms dont match anything I've had troubles with before.

I have a degree in Nursing so I have some medical knowledge/background, so hopefully I can help you a bit! It does seem like your bouts of pain are caused from sexual intercourse, and you mention that your pain is reduced if you clean your toys ect? From that is does sound like an infection, the vagina is basically the queen of breeding grounds for bacteria as its nice and warm and moist - bacteria heaven. But you'd think that your doctor would have picked up the high chance of infection earler? It seems strange that they havent issued you with antibiotics just incase a reoccuring infection is the case, which would knock the problem dead on the head if it indeed was an infection. The other thing that could be a possibilty is BV - Bacterial Vaginosis which is basically an unbalanced bacterial culture within the vagina - which can cause dicoloured discharge ect, but with BV high pain isnt a common symptom. On the other side, there is a problem called Endometriosis which is where some of the womb cells grow outside the womb in the vagina, cervix, rectum or bladder area. This is painful and the symptoms vary alot between different cases.
I am not offering a diagnosis, but there are many minor to serious reasons as to why you are suffering this pain, and I wish you were here in the UK where you could get seen to with or without health insurance, but alas. What I may recommened in the mean time is to try and draw some more conclusions (like the ones you have above) that way when you do visit the doctor you have as much information as possible, which could save time and money. Look into your history? Has your mother/grandmother/aunty had something similar? Diet? Uncomfy/lace pants irritating you? Every little detail may lead to a clue!
I am wary with wanting to suggest a treatment incase it makes it worse, but you could try as a small step to control the bouts of pain are bacterial control gels? They are little packets of gel you insert into your vagina daily to control the growth of any unwanted bacteria, and it will help control your natural 'fauna' too - although this may not be a cure, I just wanted to mention it just incase it helped at all.

I really hope you manage to see someone soon and that something I've written is of help!