[emptybox]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now, I am 24 years old. For the first year things were perfect between us. We had sex all the time and he was the first person to ever give me an orgasm from penetration. He is the first person who has ever made me think of marriage. I thought I didn't want children until I met him. He changed my entire life and I love him for it. 6 months into our relationship we ran away to London, completely broke and left to our own devices. We got along fabulously, worked perfectly as a team and made it home 6 months later still completely in love. We both decided that upon arriving at home, we would both start to take life more seriously and try to work toward our future goals. This unfortunately left me working over time and struggling to pay bills while he chased his dreams of becoming a small business owner. He started working a part time job to help out after about 5 months of letting me suffer with the stress of supporting 2 people. I believe my bitterness toward these times may have played a large part in my loss of sex drive. Now all we do is fight over the lack of sex in our relationship. As most women with decreased sex drive, I turn him down for most physical contact for fear of arousing him and having to turn him down again. He is now seriously considering leaving me because of it. I know that he is in love with me and he can't bear the thought of losing me, so I feel like I am torturing him. I feel an incredible amount of guilt but I am at a loss as to how to deal with it. Sometimes I wonder if the passion between us is just gone, since I can't imagine that if I was back to being single that I wouldn't want sex from other people. I've considered that maybe we should break up and move on but I can't imagine life without him. I don't want to live without him. I still love him just as much as I always have and I'm willing to make sacrifices to return things to the way they should be.

[EricNYU]

I've been on the receiving end of this. Youre right, you are torturing him. If you love him and your willing to make sacrifices, you have to figure out how to put the resentment away and get past it. That is your issue, it's not fair to take it out on him. Is he paying the bills now? If not, sit him down and tell him what's bothering you. If he wants to fix this he'll step up too.

[emptybox]

I've been on the receiving end of this. Youre right, you are torturing him. If you love him and your willing to make sacrifices, you have to figure out how to put the resentment away and get past it. That is your issue, it's not fair to take it out on him. Is he paying the bills now? If not, sit him down and tell him what's bothering you. If he wants to fix this he'll step up too.

I still have most of the stress put on me when it comes to bills. I have a feeling that my inability to deal with stress is causing the majority of my issues. I've tried forcing myself to have sex when I don't want to but I'm not a very good actor and it's not enough for him.

[jns]

Finances can put unbelievable stress on a relationship. You two were able to handle a carefree fantasy type of escape, but when it comes down to actually building a foundation for the future, it isn't working. I see some of it as his fault, because of working side by side in keeping the finances together, he has tried to fulfill one of his dreams. It wouldn't be as much of a problem if he became instantly successful, but he hasn't. Most people go work for other people or companies. Is he willing to put his dream on hold to hold up his end?

[Marie123]

At 24, you should just let him go so you can find a better sexual match. If you date enough and look for it, you will find a man who you get hot for on a steady basis. You have to really learn how to look for a good match, because a sexual mismatch can cause a divorce. So let this one go and you both find someone more into each other.